-------
Back to last part - Round Seven and Eight
-------
Close-up of Michael's face. Michael stares, his pursed lips revealing his deep emotional turmoil, into the camera. A single tear falls down his cheek.
MF: Michael, you want to explain what's going on?
I don't know what to do, Monkey. It seemed so right, so natural. Hell, I'm an idiot. I should have known better than to tear down that damned stonewall. Should have known better than to think that I could ever have that soulmate kind of love that Maxwell has found with Isabel. Life sucks. People suck. No one knows that better than I do. But I couldn't help it. We're getting close to the merger. Who knows what our future holds? I love Maria, but even if we both survive that long, next week I'll have to resume my duties as Second in Command, and Maximillian is a demanding ruler. I mean, if I'm not there to administer his 2 pm spankings, you can't imagine how cranky he gets. And he tells me that I'm the only one who can get his eyeliner just the way he likes it. I've got an artist's hands.
All I wanted was for Maria to finally see ME. The real me, the me I hide from this harsh, cruel world. But it was a nightmare. She turned from me, just like I knew she would, just like they all do.
MF: What did you show her that was so awful?
Here's the thing. This isn't me. It's a facade, a mask I hide behind.
MF: Well, Michael, we all feel that way from time to time --
No, you idiot! I'm not talking that Oprah-I'm so sensitive-pony tail-let me discuss my issues crap. I mean a literal disguise. This isn't my real appearance.
MF: I don't get it. What kind of disguise are we talking about?
A mindwarp.
MF: What the hell. You can't mindwarp!
Yep I can.
MF: Then how come we never saw you mindwarp before?
Mindwarped you into thinking I wasn't mindwarping you.
MF: OK, then, what about all those times that it would have been really useful for you to use your mindwarp, like when you were trying to get Maria to sleep with you? Why not use it then?
Because I'm an evil mindwarper.
MF: OK, that answer doesn't even make any sense. How about this -- you didn't even have control over your powers when you first came to the island, and you're still on the weak side, so how could you have been mindwarping everyone, the whole time, even while you were asleep?
Mindwarp. All a mindwarp.
MF: Wait a second. What about all those times the camera tracked you down and you were all by yourself? There was no one to be mindwarping then, so it couldn't have been a fake!
Listen, do I really have to explain this again. Everything you've seen so far has been a mindwarp, even the stuff you don't think could be a mindwarp. All of it. Any question you have, the answer is mindwarp. Can't explain something, it's a mindwarp. Got it? Jesus, can I get back to my confession now, or what?
MF: But --
M.I.N.D.W.A.R.P.
MF: Fine. Whatever. So what kind of mindwarp are we talking here? Are you some kind of ugly slimy little slug or something in your real form? That might make the Discovery Channel happy . . .
NO! Jesus, I'm not a complete freakshow like Rath. It's just that, well, OK, there's no question I'm a sex machine. But I had a couple of physical flaws that were turning the girls off, so I wasn't getting the chance to prove it to them. So I'm not a pretty boy. Not like Max or Kyle, anyway. I needed a bit of an edge. I mean, this rebel loner thing is pretty damn cool, cause hey, women want you. But you can't be all ugly-ass pimply and expect to get laid, even if you do lean well.
MF: So you had an acne problem?
Are you listening here? That was just an example. No. Basically, I uh, mindwarped my hair and weight.
MF: Dear. Gods. In. Heaven. It gets worse than this?!?
Hey, it's not like I'm proud of it or anything. How would you like to look like this?
Michael lifts the mindwarp, revealing that he is about 20 lbs lighter and has spiky, Season 1 hair.
[Silence]
I know, you don't have to say anything. Max told me how it is. Thank god I've got a friend who's not afraid to tell me the harsh truth.
MF: So, um, Max told you that this wasn't a good look for you?
Yeah. He took me aside in the men's room one day, after one of those after gym related healings. It took a lot of guts, but that's Max the Saint all over. He let me know that I was scaring off the women with the freaky hair and the gaunt cheekbone thing. I was beginning to wonder, because I thought I had the cool loner chic thing down pat by that time, but I still wasn't getting any. Right after Lacey Ezelay was the third girl in a row to break an eraser room appointment with me, I asked Max if he knew what the deal was, cause I had seen him talking to her just that morning. That's when it all came out. Ever since then, I've mindwarped the world into thinking this was the real me. It was working fine, but then I had to open myself up to Maria!
MF: So what exactly did Maria say?
Well, first she screamed, or maybe squealed, a bit and turned real red and flushed. Then she asked me why the big disguise. I told her the whole story, and the next thing I know she had taken off for the Granolust camp, saying that she needed to talk to Max. You see, I'm so fugly I drove her away from the camp. She's probably watching Max do push-ups as we speak.
So that's the whole story, just like you asked. Pathetic, huh? I'm just going to mindwarp my old appearance and see if Maria's back. In the meantime, I'd appreciate it if you didn't spread the word around.
Camera pans back as Michael stands up, revealing that he's buck naked.
MF: Um, Michael? So what does any of this have to do with the fact that you're not wearing any clothes?
Oh, nothing. Laurie and Courtney became friends a couple of days ago. Seems like Courtney's withered, leathery skin reminded Laurie of what her Grandpa looked like right before he croaked. The two of them took off with every last stitch. I'm stuck like this until I can track down their shrine. Maria was supposed to help me find it, but who knows now? Excuse me for a second, I've got something in my eye.
MF: Don't ask me.
Sorry. I didn't even know Zan was still around. All his piercings frightened me, so, I'm kinda glad he's been voted off. At least I still have Sean.
Has Katims said anything about his missing MSCL tapes?
MF: I don't think he's realized they're missing.
You know, Sean looks a lot like that nerd on that show.
MF: They're played by the same guy.
No kidding? Wow. Liz is still really upset about losing her virginity. She keeps telling me that she's sorry that she didn't talk to me about it. I had to remind her that I'm not Maria. And then she was all like, "Of course you're not Maria! Maria would hug me and tell me everything was all right and not to worry and that she'd help me find my virginity!"
Well, I just looked at her like she was crazy and asked her "Are you sure it was your virginity you lost and not your sanity?"
And then I just walked away.
Well, Sean and I have been hanging out, you know, pulling some pranks on people. My ability to be invisible turns out to be kind of handy in certain situations, if you know what I mean...
MF: Like what?
Harmless stuff, really.
[Montage of Alex and Sean breaking into Prono's pub for drinks after closing, filling Max's tent with dixie cups full of water while he's sleeping, pouring a hair-growth formula into Grant's canteen]
Izzy's been helping out, too.
[Flashback of Alex and Isabel singing the Gweneth/Huey song from Duets while he's sleeping.]
Good times, Mr. MF, good times...
So with no further ado, here is our final immunity challenge.
Predict how often the following will happen tonight in "Departure":
1) Any character cries (tears on cheeks)
2) Number of character vehicles seen (Jetta, Bob, Michael's bike, Tess's SUV, Kyle's car, Sheriff's truck, etc.)
3) Tess feels baby-related pains
4) Someone says the word "Goodbye"
5) We see a hug
The same rules apply as our last show immunity: For each of these subparts, the team that is the closest gets a point. If there is a tie, both teams get a point. The highest score is therefore a 5. The team with the highest score wins.
In the event of a tie, the winner will be determined by adding up the answers given in response to each subpart, and comparing the total number with the correct total (ie, if a Tribe gives as their answer 4, 2, 7, 8, 0, their total is 21. This total will be compared with the total of the correct answers).
You have until 8 ET to submit your answers by e-mail. As always, each team should only respond once.
Good luck!
Mr MF: What happened?
I was talking to Michael yesterday and he said he wanted to show me what he really looked like, and I admit I was pretty nervous about it because, well, you've seen some of the cheesy looks Katims has come up with for aliens. I didn't know what the hell to expect. Anyway, he lets down his guard and I almost fainted. I mean, the guy is gorgeous! His hair is much shorter, and it looks like he actually styles it, and he's a lot more buff. He said Max convinced him that he didn't look good enough to attract girls so he's been mindwarping all of us for more than a year! I've been walking around with a badly groomed boyfriend just because Max was jealous that he only got to mack on the robot and Michael got to kiss everyone else! What a dick! But I showed him. After the number I just did on Max, there's no way he's getting any of our crew to sleep with him after the merger!
Mr. MF: What does he look like?
I popped his goddamned alien pecs of steel! I always knew those were implants! Now they look like the pancakes of Silly Putty! Hah! Now let me go find Michael. I can't wait to feel his real chest pressed up against mine.
Sorry, I�ve been in meetings with Bunim-Murray all week. They say they�re really impressed with how I�m handling the game so far, so they wanted to recruit me for this new WB Extreme Challenge they�re working on.
Camerman: You�re kidding. Haven�t they overdone it with the reality genre already?
Apparently not. Anyway, it�s going to be sort of like the WB All-Stars versus the WB Losers. Kind of like a non-animated Laugh-O-lympics. I was going to represent Roswell on the All-Stars Team along with Spike, Rory, Jack McPhee, Elena, Mary Cherry and Gunn. The other team had Liz, Dawson, Leo, Lily, Anya, Matt Camedon, and Julie from Felicity. Which is pretty cruel, since she�s not even on the show any more.
Cameraman: Wait, what do you mean you were going to be on it? You�re not now? What happened?
Turned on a t.v. lately? We�re gone, man. Moved to freakin� UPN. Buffy, too. Bunim and Murray are pissed. They�re thinking of replacing me and Spike with people from Pop Stars.
Cameraman: Whoa, that sucks.
Tell me about it. Like there�s ever going to be a UPN Extreme Challenge. Who�s going to be on my team, fucking Moesha? Don�t think so. And I�d rather not be stuck in a Winnie with those Smackdown guys.
Cameraman: Harsh. So anyway, you excited about the merge?
You. Have. No. Idea.
Cameraman: Anybody in particular you�re excited to see?
Please don�t ask dumb questions.
Everyone in my tribe has been a little weird today, with the merge so close and all. Michael, Latex and Nicholas keep hugging me and giving me presents and stuff. I think they�re worried about my loyalties once we merge. Every time I turn around, one of them is standing there with tears in his eyes. It�s like, lighten up, guys. I�m sure I�ll still have plenty of time for all of them all after tomorrow.
Now if you�re excuse me, I need to go do some push-ups. You�ve gotta be in top physical condition to keep up with certain people, if you know who I mean, and I think you do, and I wanna be ready for the big merger. Provided I survive the next challenge and council, that is.
MF: So you think it's him then?
I don't know. Rath's been trying to help, but so far he still hasn't found any clues.
MF: Are you excited about the merge?
Yes, very. Cos then I can kidknap Laurie again and make her help me find out who it was?
MF: Will you gag her so she won't scream?
Yep.
MF: Okay I won't warn her then.
MF: You look like shit.
Ugh.
MF: What the fuck is the matter with you? Why are all your stickers falling off? Dammit, are you still drunk?
*singing* "Maria Maria! She remind me of a westside story...Oh! Maria Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahah!" Heeeeeeeee!
MF: Man, pull yourself together! Is this how a king is supposed to act? Max!
*suddenly sobering up*
What? What's going on?
MF: You were singing about Maria...pretending you were black again.
Oh damn, you didn't catch that on tape, did you?!
MF: Of course not, Max. *snicker*
Good. Damn that Maria. She gives those tongue lashings out good. I just had to get me all up in Porno's pub after that. I felt so bad. I didn't think she'd have such a problem with Michael. I mean, I never told him he looked BAD, I just told him he had to stop trying so hard around the girlies, you know? He wasn't getting any play and I felt bad for him. That's all. And then Maria fell in love with him BEFORE she realized how gorgeous he really is, so she knows it's more than the physical aspect she's attracted to. Shit, if you ask me, I did that girl a HUGE favor.
*laughs* And now she thinks my pretty pecs are made out of silicone or some shit. C'mon baby, after spending all last summer hangin' by the pool, you're really gonna tell me you couldn't tell? Geez. I don't need silicone, I got that whole mindwarp/healing/morphing ability. I could give myself a svelte girlish figure if I wanted. Wanna see?
MF: I don't need to see you looking anymore manorexic than you already do, but thanks.
Whatever, your loss. Damn I have a headache. Gotta stay away from Porno for a while. Seeing as in a few short hours I get to see my Ky--I mean we merge and all. I should try to look my best for that. I don't want the members of the other team thinking I've neglected my appearance. And hanging around Porno guarantees I'll look like shit in the morning. Despite all my powers.
Shit, where are Isabel and Tess? We need to do some hardcore fuc--I mean, bonding before the merge. Because after tomorrow, it's all a big free for all!
MF: How did I miss that?
I don't know. It was a lot of fun. I mean, you really find out how flexible you are. And, wow, you shoulda seen how Max and Isabel's bodies just--
MF: Okay, that's enough.
Sorry. I'm so excited about the merger. I can't wait to meet my double. In a way, it's almost too bad they kicked her mom off; I would've loved to have seen the expression on her face when we merge. Oh, well, I'll live.
I gotta go prepare for the immunity challenge.
Granolust:
Anyone cries: 7
Vehicles: 3
Tess has baby pains: 2
Anyone says "goodbye": 12
Hugs: 9
Raunchies:
1) Tears: 5
2) Vehicles: 4
3) Pains: 2
4) Goodbyes: 4
5) Hugs: 7
That's right, Mr. Monkey. By my count, we won the challenge tonight, but we'll have to wait for the official results to be sure.
MF: So there was an episode tonight?
Yeah, and I was in it!
MF: I thought you were dead?
Well, I am. To tell you the truth, I had my doubts about my actual dead-status, but *sigh* it looks pretty final this time.
MF: I heard it was Tess. I thought you were getting along if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Bygones, you know? It doesn't do to hold grudges when you're dead. And have you seen her? The girl is hot! Evil hot. Big. Bad. Hot.
MF: Okaaay. So what are your thoughts on the merge?
Should be great. Should be great. I think Max is going to be pretty distracted, so that will leave me more time with Isabel. She's really amazing, don't you think? And it will be nice to see Maria again.
I'm off to Porno's to await Peachy's verdict. See ya, dude.
Insert �cheesy� MTV music video effects.
"Liz" by Rath (Originally "Stan" by Eminem w/hook by Dido)
With Rath as Max Evans/Liz Parker and Maria DeLuca as Dido
Rath with a dark, long, ultra-shiny haired wig sits in a room covered with pictures of Max Evans. He rocks slowly back and forth as a "pregnant" Maria walks around their apartment singing . . .
Still stalkin' Max and wonderin' why he don't like me at all
I call his house every five minutes and he's not there at all
And even if he's not its okay, I have his pictures on my wall
It reminds me that I'm so very sad, I'm so very sad.
Music picks up as "Liz" wanders around the bedroom licking the pictures of Max. "Maria" shakes her head and begins to weep. She approaches �Liz� and tries to calm her but she screams wildly. Maria back away and starts singing . . .
Still stalkin' Max and wonderin' why he don't like me at all
I call his house every five minutes and he's not there at all
And even if he's not it's okay, I have his pictures on my wall
It reminds me that I'm so very sad, I'm so very sad.
We see Rath as �Liz� sitting on the floor by �her� bed writing in �her" journal.
Dear Max, I know your at home, I really don't know who think your foolink'
I know you only have five friends, so what the hell could you doink'?
I know that spendink time being a King can be greulink'
But if you're tryink to avoid me what the hell would that be provink?
Don�t think you�ll get away from me by packink up and movink.
But anyways, fuck it, what's up love? So tell me, how's your life?
I heard Tess is pregnant and you're the father and the wife
When I have our daughter, guess what I'm a call her?
I'm-a name her Max.
When we go out public, we could even have matchink backpacks.
If you need a guy or a girl, then I'm your woman or man
I got an upgrade yesterday, and guess what! Now I have a web cam.
Now we can make love and share it with our funny Internet fans
I�ve got a title, we can call it the MaxandLiz4Ever Cam!
That shit you pulled by locking your window, I didn't like that.
Anyways, when you have the chance, hit me back, we can chat
Always yours, this letter's author, your true love, Liz Parker.
Through the window we can see it's raining. As we pull back we see "Maria" sitting on a toilet singing . . .
Still stalkin' Max and wonderin' why he don't like me at all
I call his house every five minutes and he's not there at all
And even if he's not its okay, I have his pictures on my wall
It reminds me that I'm so very sad, I'm so very sad.
Rath as �Liz� watches �Max� being played by Michael with a �Max� wig on and a dopey, blank, stare. From behind a large bush, �Liz� watches, �Max� exiting his home. As he gets into his jeep, she attempts to stand to chase after him. As she does, her hair gets stuck on the bush. Lifting the bush with her mighty strength from the ground, she struggles to run, as he speeds off in his car hurling dirt and dust in her direction.
Dear Max, you didn't call? You probably haven't had the chance
I ain't upset, but you should know that Sean DeLuca wants to get into my pants
If you don't want me around, just say so, I won't even stalk you
Why can't you just love me, I just want someone to talk to
Wait! Didn't I see you hangin� at the Crashdown not too long ago?
When I called out your name you stood up and got ready to go
I didn�t mean to call Tess a bitch, what I really meant to say was hoe.
You�re mine Max Evans and I�ll fight for you against any male or female rival!
Tess may like you a hell of a lot, but I�ll worship you as an idol
I just put a payment on my wedding gown I picked at J.C. Penny's Bridols
I'm getting upset Max Evans, I don't like being lied to
You're as thin as a stick so it's getting �increasinkly� hard for me to find you
I thought Michael had swallowed you, no one could be greedier
I'm running out of options Max, it�s not possible for me to be needier
It's hard for me to stay sane when I'm a chemist over-achiever
Max Evans I'm startin' to wonder what the hell is your problem.
Why don't you tell them to me so that I can help you solve them.
Got a brand new battery Max Evans and I just got my exhaust pipe cleaned
Can't get away from me this time with an endless GOTO subroutine!
When I sing to your picture in my head I hear you sing along
You tell me your scared to see me that�s why you�ve been away for so damn long
Have you seen my hair? I brush it a hundred times a day to keep it plush.
You know, I think you've been hanging around your sister often and too much.
You should go on Jerry Springer if you want to do that stuff.
PS: The cross and garlic in your windows is not nearly strong enough!
We see Rath as "Liz" naked. She's rolling around with more pictures of Max Evans. Maria rushes into the room and begins to strike her. Grabbing her oversized stomach she begins to beat her. Lifting a large pillow from underneath her muumuu she hurls it at "Liz" who begins to "cry." We focus on the wall behind them as we see a picture of Max with tears in his eyes. Maria begins to sing . . .
Still stalkin' Max and wonderin' why he don't like me at all
I call his house every five minutes and he's not there at all
And even if he's not its okay, I have his pictures on my wall
It reminds me that I'm so very sad, I'm so very sad.
Insert fisheye lens shot of Lonnie, Ava, Maria and Courtney dancing wildly in front of the camera. Cut to, Rath as "Liz" inside of a car driving down the freeway. �She� looks slightly crazed, her hair is wild, we hear a muffled �male� voice coming from the back of the car. �She� begins to talk into her "thumb."
Dear Mr. I'm think I'm too good to call or write my girlfriend
This is the last chance you'll ever have, I'm not askin' you again.
It's been six months and still no word. Don't you think that I deserve it?
Got my night vision on now, so when you leave at night I can see you perfect!
So this is the last letter I'm even tryin' to send you.
I'm in the Jetta' right now I'm doing 90 on the freeway.
Hey Max, "I downed two quarts of oil, now ya' dare me to drive?"
Remember that song by Gainer, you know the words, "I Will Survive?"
Don't you realize that if not for you I wouldn't even be alive?
So we can live together, grow together, so that our love can thrive?
At night I'd sit and dream that sex with you wouldn't be totally lousy
But listenin' to you talk often always makes me drowsy.
Who said that bein' in love always takes cooperation from both parties!
The end of the road is comin' fast, I know our true love wasn't fake!
Shit? Where's my oil can? I can't get my leg to bend to touch the break.
I told you if you couldn't afford it you could always call collect.
But you didn't listen Maxwell Evans and now I'm-a give you heck!
I love you Max, we could have been together. Think about it.
You ruined it Max Evans! I hope that when you sleep, you dream about us.
And when you dream, I hope you see that you shouldn�t be with her but me!
And when you see you should be with me, I hope wake up and have to pee!
See Max, {screaming} shut up Sean, can't you see I'm trying to talk
That's Sean DeLuca, my new one true love screaming in the trunk!
Didn't think I'd heard about the basketball team members that you blew!
You know I think you need a hair cut, and your does ma� and pops do too!
Well, gotta go, I think I'm done with this e-mail now.
Damn, internal server's not responding, how am I gonna' send this out?
{screeching tires, crashing sounds, car splashes into the water}
�Liz's� car flies off the top of a bridge as we cut to . . . . Maria, floating down a hallway covered with pictures of Max Evans. Next to each, a picture of �Liz� has been pasted. Lonnie, Maria, Ava and Courtney dance in front of a fisheye lens on the beach as Maria sings . . .
Still stalkin' Max and wonderin' why he don't like me at all
I call his house every five minutes and he's not there at all
And even if he's not its okay, I have his pictures on my wall
It reminds me that I'm so very sad, I'm so very sad.
We turn to, Rath as Max, on the island writing a letter. He has a short, dark, wig on and sits in front of a large bonfire. Kyle, Lonnie and Isabel run around naked in the background. He turns to face them and waves. The three wave back, "seductively." He turns to face the fire and begins to write a letter.
Dear Liz Parker, despite what you heard, I've always just been busy
Just 'cause a girl can read, doesn't mean she's an actress, now is she?
Look, I'm really flattered that you would want to try and name our son that
But still, you won�t be the mother: perhaps you should get a cat and name him that?
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the Crashdown, I really have missed you
But don't think that I'm upset though, cause I'm kinda' glad I'm missed
I told you twenty times it wasn't me who took your damn virginity!
And your hair will never look better than that girl Keri on Felicity.
You got some issues, Liz, I think you need some really counselin'
Or they'll really make fun your ass when they start Roswell/Survivor again.
And what's this shit about us bein' made for each other?
If not for central casting we would never been together.
I really think you and delinquent Sean are made for one another.
I can't stand your ultra shiny hair or your nasally voice
The only time I talk to you is if I really ain�t don�t got choice
You may be nice, you may be sweet, but all you do is whine
Durin' the winter I'd get my hand stuck on your non-existent behind
You're full of so much metal your two steps away from being your own Reggae band.
Why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do not want to be your man.
Your breath is like battery acid, do robots even shit?
If you got upset you could kill me, me with one bionic-woman hit.
You know what, heard Valenti found a girl, who in the river fell
He said she talked in binary code and couldn�t pronounce or spell
Then girl exploded, after she went liquid like dude in Terminator 2
Come to think about it . . . her name was . . . it was you. DAMN!
Extreme close-up of Rath's face as we smash cut to black.
Cars: 4 (Alex's, Jetta, Bob, Sherrif's truck)
Winner: Raunchy
Goodbyes: 3 (Max in opening, Liz in jeep, Max on video)
Raunchy
Tears: so many, don't need to count
Winner: Granolust
Baby Pains: tie, since both teams guessed two
Hugs: 8 (Valenti/Isabel, Valenti/Tess, Valenti/Max, Tess/Kyle, Max/Michael, Max/Isabel, Liz/Max)
Tie
So the final score is Raunchy 4, Granolust 3. Granolust will be heading to Tribal Council, and we'll be heading to the merge with the teams tied at 10 players apiece.
If you think that this count is wrong for whatever reason, please feel free to email the mbtv survivor account. We rewatched the episode a couple of times to catch everything, but there was a lot of stuff to be watching for, so we may have missed a few.
The S20 will be receiving instructions on the merger tomorrow. Good luck until then, and be careful tonight. Packs of rabid Dreamers have been reportedly spotted roaming the island. They are vicious and will attack without warning, so watch yourselves out there.
Well, the merge is finally upon us. But before we bid a fond farewell to the tribes formerly known as Rancho de Raunchy and Granolust, first let us bid farewell to one last tribe member. The results of tonight�s vote are as follows:
Isabel:
My vote is for Grant. He just can't satisfy me the way my brother, Alex, and Valenti have. Plus, he looks like Pete Sampras, and that's just not good. I would have dropped him earlier, but Tess was mindwarping me into thinking he was good looking so she'd have more time with Max. Doesn't she know I'm his home? Take that, bitch!
Sean:
I'm voting for Pierce. But, I'm making sure I'm keeping that tazer gun.
Grant:
Vote for Jason Katims. Because: A) My body hair has only recently recovered from his waxing massacre. B) Technically, the guy did kill a few members of our tribe already. C) There was this TV show last Monday he made us watch...
Betty:
Grant. I haven't seen him for a while but when I do he keeps asking me to stroke his eyebrows. That's just too weird.
Alex:
Grant. He's been paying too much attention to Izzy lately.
Katims:
Grant? You're still here? Bah! Hit the road.
Liz:
I'm voting Grant. I already know it can't have been him who took my virginity, for a reason that i'm not gonna say cos i haven't thought of it yet!!!
Max:
Good-bye Grant, you smelly piece of rat ass.
So, it looks like this is the end of the road for Mr. Sorenson. Smell ya later, Grant. You did pretty well for someone with a monobrow. As always, feel free to post your final words and then join us in the R/S FF thread to share fond memories of your time in the woods.
Everyone at Pohlman Ranch needs to pack up their things immediately and head on over to the Frazier camp. Why do you have to move to their camp, you ask? Well, did anyone in your tribe build a bar? No? Then quit complaining.
As of right now, the Granolust and Rancho de Raunchy tribes no longer exist. You�ll have until the next Tribal Council to come up with a name for your new tribe. Everyone gets a vote; majority wins.
Congratulations to the S20 that have made it this far. Good luck in the next phase of the game.
Whatever, I have no hard feelings. But if I ever saw any of you lying in the desert, dying of thirst, I would not give you a drop of water. Because I wouldn't have any. Because I don't bathe. But even if I did have water, I would just leave you there and let the vultures and online fan communities take you and do what they want with you.
Now excuse me, I have to go pack. And - Jesus Christ, the merger! I'm gonna miss finally seeing those chicks on the other team who look like Isabel and Tess if they were making out with each other? I'll sue you! Sue you all! I'll - oh screw it, why didn't I bring my rifle?
Grant out.
-------
On to next part - The Merger!