~~~~~Chapter Eight~~~~
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I had a nice surprise today. Kevin and Brian came to visit me! They brought me some mail that fans have sent. The guards checked it throughly of course, so I didn't get any of the presents, but I got all the letters. I'm keeping them in the same box that I keep these tapes in. Brian told me he would save the gifts and give them to me when I get out. I told him I'm not getting out, but he just smiled and said to wait and see. They asked about the book and I told them I was working almost every day on it. I told them they would be shocked and sad when they read it. Brian gave me a big hug and told me he prayed for me everyday. I almost cried when he said that. Kevin waited until after Brian left and told me he was glad I wasn't holding it inside. That it was better to release it than to let it eat me up. I think you've figured out by now that Kevin knew something was going on, he eventually knew it all as the years went by. But he still doesn't know why I did what I did. No one does. But there I go jumping ahead of myself again.
We were all pumped about the record deal. They all liked us and discussions were held about how to promote us and whatever. We flew back home and were filled with stories of what happened and how it was finally going to happen. I went home for a short break and my brother and sisters just about killed me when they jumped on me as I walked through the door. I missed them so much, and Dad too. I told mom I missed her. I guess in some way I did, she was my mother after all. Aaron wouldn't leave me alone, and I didn't mind one bit. I missed him most of all. Later that night on the news we heard about Michael Jackson's child abuse charges. Mom idly wondered if it would affect the groups deal with the company, while I felt like throwing up. The kids were Aaron's age. The case did affect our deal. Nothing ever happened and no one wanted anything to do with Michael for quite a while after that. Whatever verbal promises had been made were just forgotten. So we just did what we always did. We practiced some more, we toured the schools some more, we busted our butts some more. In the early part of 1994 a couple of guys from the company Zomba/Jive saw us performing. They loved us and alerted the company to us. In our favour, the A&R man from Mercury that almost got us a deal was with Jive now and he remembered us. We flew to New York again for meetings and finally we were signed! We had a record deal and no one could take it away from us. Lou threw a huge ass party for us. All the families were there and most of the people that had some part in getting us where we were. Plus a whole bunch of people I didn't even know. Mom was parading around telling everyone how she knew I was going to be a big star. She was really embarrassing me. Dad took the kids back up to the hotel room around 10 and told me to come back whenever I was ready. I was able to pretty much slip around wherever I wanted in the huge ballroom where we having the party. I listened in on some conversations, pinched some butts, spiked some drinks, kid stuff. Just having fun. It was midnight and I was just about to head up to the room. I couldn't find mom anywhere. She was probably boring someone with the tales of me, her child prodigy. I saw Lou coming over to me and I tried to get away but a bunch of old guys in suits blocked my way. He put his beefy arm around me and dragged me into the bathroom. Of course, no one was in there. He knew better than to fuck me, what with me going back up to the room and Dad being there. He sat himself down on one of the toilets and demanded a blow job. I hesitated. "Someone will be looking for me, it's late." Lou looked exasperated. "Here." He moved over to the counter and dumped a small pile of white powder, then dragged it into a straight line with a credit card. Slowly he inhaled two of the lines and looked over at me with a smile on his face. I shook my head no. Lou nodded yes. I refused. "You like those pills, don't you? This stuff is better than 10 of those pills!" "Will it help me sleep?" "Of course." Lou said, waving his hand around. I leaned over the counter and snorted my first of many lines of cocaine.
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