After a shower and a quick bite to eat, Jake decided to head out to run some errands. He had a prescription for his basketball related thigh injury (now aggravated by Nick from overuse) to pick up, some things that needed to be mailed to his parents in New York and Nick had used most of the shampoo and soap, and so he needed to do some shopping as well. He shoved his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans, located his cell, flicked it on and clipped it to a front pocket. A pair of Nikes, shades slipped on and he was ready to go.

As he walked, he kept checking his cell phone, hoping that Nick would call and want to get together again later. After another fruitless look at the blank screen, Jake jammed the phone into his pocket. Maybe if he couldn’t see it, he wouldn’t be tempted to check it every three seconds. His nerves jangled as the phone rang a few minutes later. Finally!

“Nick, baby, I’ve been waiting for you to call!”

“I’m sorry honey, it’s me.” Mom. So not the person Jake wanted to talk to right now. “Are you and Nick having problems?”

“No mom.” Jake sighed. “I’m just expecting a call from him. Everything’s fine.”

The time he spent chatting to his mother had brought him to the front door of the drug store/department store. One of those large stores that was basically a pharmacy, but also a one stop shopping store. Jake clicked the phone off, only after checking for a message from Nick once more, and dropped the phone in his pocket.

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“God, that was so fucking good!”

Nick kissed the excited, young, blonde woman, whose bed he was sharing, as passionately as he could, but the feeling just wasn’t there. The blonde didn’t seem to be minding though, her tongue was rammed in his mouth and she was pressing herself against Nick’s body and Nick could tell she was getting ready for round two.

“Nick, baby, you make me feel so good.” The blonde purred in his ear. Nick winced at her use of the word baby. Funny - it irritated him this morning when Jake used it, but now it bothered him to hear it from this woman. It didn’t sound right. “Let’s do it again, you wanna do it again, don’t you, baby?” She ran her fingers through his hair, pulling his head down to her breasts.

This morning, when Nick had left Jake’s, he couldn’t stop thinking about Jake’s constant request. To be on top. To let Jake fuck him, just once. Nick tried to push the thoughts out of his head as he drove, but they kept returning. How it would feel to let Jake fuck him? To have his cock pushing into him slowly? To let Jake take complete possession of him? Nick had pounded his steering wheel in frustration. He was not gay. He WAS…NOT…GAY. To let Jake fuck him would be letting go of holding onto that last bit of…straightness. His last bit of sanity, it sometimes seemed like. Nick really liked his time with Jake, and obviously the sex – the sex was freakin’ amazing, but to step over that line and reverse the roles…Nick just didn’t know if he was ready to give himself to someone that completely. And so he’d ended up at some cheap restaurant, and picked up this anonymous groupie, who obviously liked whatever he was offering – even if his heart wasn’t in it – just to prove to himself that he still liked females. Or maybe even to prove that people just wanted to be with him, because deep down, he wasn’t entirely sure about that either.

“I gotta go, baby. I’m sorry. It was…great.” Nick hopped out of bed and pulled his clothes on quickly. This had been the wrong move on so many levels. All he could think about was Jake…and Kevin…and Jake. Damn Jake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jake wandered around the plaza, not really wanting to go back home and be alone again. His phone still hadn’t rung and no messages had been left. Jake had been hopeful that now the big “first appearance as a foursome” was over with, and much of the legal wrangling was done, that Nick would be able to spend more time with him. Jake had seriously missed seeing him everyday while all this chaos had been going on. But, obviously, Nick had better things to do than to be with him, Jake pouted to himself. As he passed a store that had its windows filled with bright, neon signs and hip decorating items, Jake noticed the store’s t-shirt displays. Fuck. Just what he needed, something to remind him of Nick, who loved to wear graphic tees with funny logos. Jake entered the store anyway, and was overwhelmed with items that Nick would adore. Pushing his slight anger to the side, Jake grabbed an armful of t-shirts from FCUK (hot as FCUK and Possibly the best FCUK ever) and Juicy Couture (Flying my Freak Flag and Such a Good Lover) for Nick as well some jeans and dress pants that Nick would look hot in…and out of. As he looked over his purchases, he hoped maybe Nick would understand the true meanings of the messages that were displayed on them.

Back home, purchases tucked aside awaiting their new owner’s return, Jake grabbed a juice bottle from the fridge. He frowned slightly when he glimpsed Nick’s discarded towel from the morning balled up on the floor beside it. Where the hell was he and why wasn’t he calling him? Jake kicked the towel aside, stomped to the office and opened his email display. His heart leapt when he saw that Nick was online and writing something to him. Not patient enough to wait, Jake typed in the open message window.

HadamardII – Hey!

C1onone – Jake, hey yourself

HadamardII – How are you?

C1onone – well…………

HadamardII – you don’t want to talk………..

C1onone – I don’t want you mad at me

HadamardII – What do you need to say, Nick?

C1onone – What the fuck is going on? I’m not fucking gay, I go fuck a chick and all I can see is your fucking face! Hear your fucking voice! What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck, Jake?

Jake leaned back in his chair and stretched his legs out in front of him. Although the “fuck a chick” part had hit him like a slap in the face, Jake couldn’t help but grin at the rest of Nick’s revelation. He’d get it sooner or later. He was blonde, but he wasn’t stupid.

HadamardII – I can’t tell you what the fuck Nick, you need to discover it yourself. I can’t tell you what you feel.

With that, Jake stood up and flicked off the computer.