“Whoa.” Nick breathed deeply. Even though it had lasted mere seconds, it had been intense. And Nick thought he just might want some more.

Jake smirked at Nick, whose eyes remained closed as he tried to catch his breath. Jake tried to hide the fact that he needed to catch his breath too. He hadn’t expected Nick to immediately give in. Jake had a feeling that perhaps Nick had let his body just respond to natural urges and that was just fine with him.

“There’s more where that came from, I’m ready when you are.” Jake teased.

“I…not yet…not yet.” Nick protested

Jake watched Nick as he sank into one of the overstuffed chairs that dotted his living room. Nicks cheeks were flushed, but his eyes sparkled and a faint smile played on his lips. Jake could tell he was still trying to battle between his body and his brain though. That’s why he hadn’t pushed too much on the kiss, despite how much he wanted to shove Nick against the wall and devour him, he left it nice and gentle, not too much, leaving him wanting more. Jake thought he had succeeded judging by the contented look settling on Nicks face.

“Was that alright? You didn’t really say yes.” Jake asked, quietly.

Was it alright? Nick pondered the question. It had been more than alright. It had perhaps been one of the most extreme moments of his life.

“Yeah, it was…fine…it was…nice.” Nick finally answered.

Fine. Nice. Not really the response Jake was hoping for but it would do for now. He had to consider that this wasn’t common behaviour for Nick. No one likely had ever asked him how a kiss was for him.

“I didn’t scare you off then?”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” Nick answered, a little defensively.

“Yes, you are.” Jake smiled wickedly at Nick. “You are, indeed.”

Jake had left Nick to relax while he cued up some CDs and prepared a light snack and some drinks. He stayed evenhanded as he prepared the drinks. He knew they were both probably nicely buzzed and he didn’t want either one of them so drunk they wouldn’t know what they were doing. The last thing he wanted was Nick to be upset with him. Also, Jake wanted to remember whatever might happen tonight and that wasn’t going to happen if he was smashed.

“I like your taste in music, man.” Nick said appreciatively, as he studied the titles in the large CD unit. “You’ve got some good shit in there.”

“I like all sorts of music, to me, it’s all good.” Jake scooped up his drink and sat on the sofa, gazing at Nick as he pulled various CDs off the shelves. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

“I can tell. I’ve never heard of some of this stuff. You really hit all the genres though.” Nick grinned as he pulled a copy of the Little Mermaid soundtrack from the shelf and turned the cover towards Jake.

“Hey…don’t knock Disney, man!” Jake laughed. “They’re classic. And good to sing along to in the shower.”

“Oh man.” Nick couldn’t hold back his giggles, as he imagined Jake belting out Disney tunes…in the shower…abruptly his giggles stopped and he coughed to regain his composure.

“You having trouble with me singing?” Jake joked, even though he knew why Nick had stopped giggling so quickly. “I used to be in a group, you know.”

“You...were in a group?”

“Well, nothing like your group, obviously. It was just a garage band sort of thing. But it was fun.”

Nick found it interesting that they had yet one more thing in common. “What did you play – guitar?” Jake just looked like guitar dude to him.

“Nope, I sang and I played some drums.”

“No shit!”

As they went off into yet another tangent on a mutual loved subject, neither one of them noticed that it was getting later and later and they were sitting closer and closer together. Nick had sat at the far end of the couch and gradually moved closer as he and Jake talked. Or maybe Jake was the one moving closer. But as Nick waved his hands to emphasize a point he was making, his hand brushed across Jakes thigh and their chatter ceased.

“Sorry.” Nick muttered. “I didn’t realize I was so close.”

“It’s alright.” Jake seized Nick’s hand and placed it back on his thigh, covering it with his own. “You’re not too close.”

Nick found himself staring into Jakes eyes, seeing…he wasn’t sure what…but it didn’t seem like what he normally saw on the faces of the groupies he routinely sought out. Maybe it was acceptance…maybe encouragement…maybe…something else entirely. Whatever the look meant, Nick had a strange feeling it was something he needed. Something that, if turned down, wouldn’t offer itself again. Nick wasn’t stupid; he didn’t want to miss out.

Jake couldn’t tear himself away from Nick’s wondering eyes. He could see the battle raging within him, but he thought he knew which side was winning. He prepared to offer Nick a kiss that properly expressed his feelings when Nick whispered hoarsely in his ear.

“I think maybe I’m ready…for…some…” Instead of completing the sentence, Nick pulled Jake towards him suddenly and covered his mouth with his.

Nick let himself kiss Jake...really kiss him...for about five seconds. Maybe.

He jumped back away from Jake, suddenly freaked out by what was going on. He could feel the scruff on Jake's face as they kissed and that was just. wrong. Right? It wasn't supposed to feel like that. Kisses were supposed to be smooth. And soft and sweet and hard and hungry and lustful and...god...that kiss had been everything, except...with a girl.

Nick saw the way Jake was looking back at him, a little disappointed, maybe? Distressed, definitely. "I'm sorry. I just. sorry." He stood up, backing a little away from the couch, to put some much needed distance between them. "I gotta go, man."

Jake stood up and followed Nick - not too closely - to the door. He wanted to say so many things, but didn't feel like any of them would be well-received just then.

Nick paused at the door, for just a second. He didn't want to be completely rude and acting like a scared little bitch. "I'll. we'll. talk later. Okay?" He didn't wait for an answer before he practically sprinted to his car, yelling "Bye!" over his shoulder as he went.

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Nick sat in the car, head down on the steering wheel. What the hell had he just done??

The problem was... he hadn't hated it. He knew he wouldn't. He wouldn't have gone back for more after that initial kiss - the one that Jake had ASKED for - if he'd thought he'd hate it. He'd asked. Jake had freaking asked to kiss him. That was... cute? sweet?

Nick didn't know what to think. Jake was obviously way more open to... well, anything... than he'd first suspected. So, what did Jake want out of this?

He sat back up and slouched down in the driver's seat. He knew he should probably get going... go somewhere... get out of the parking lot he'd pulled over in because his mind was moving faster than he could keep up with and none of it was paying attention to the way he was driving.

There'd already been so many rumors... he'd heard them for as long as he could remember. He knew most celebrities had to deal with it at some point, but they NEVER seemed to leave him alone. He was NOT gay! Or ... well... No. He was not gay. Curious, maybe. And he hadn't even really been curious until a few days ago.

Damn Jake.

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Nick sighed, drumming his fingers on the countertop. He was bored. And maybe a little restless. He'd been a little off-kilter since the other night with Jake and he couldn't get it off his mind. The kiss. The feelings. All of it.

Even the night before, when he'd picked up some random chick and fucked her, just to make sure he did indeed still have love for the ladies, he couldn't stop wondering what it would be like to do it with a guy. Sure he'd had girls that had taken it up the ass for him, but would it be different if it was a guy? It had to, didn't it? He knew there was no way in hell he'd be taking, giving maybe, but taking. fuck no.

He knew how he was. He knew he'd keep wondering and wondering. until he found out. The curiosity always got him. Most of the trouble he'd gotten into . was because of an extremely over-active imagination. And lately, the only thing he could think about. was Jake.

He'd gone surfing earlier in the day, and who had he wanted there? Yep. Jake. He'd watched other guys out on their boards. and there was nothing. No spark. No attraction of any kind. Guys on the beach. Nothing. Girls in bikinis - hot damn! So apparently. it was just Jake.

What was it about him? Nick had no problems admitting he liked the guy. in that, 'hey, let's hang and have a beer' kind of way. Jake was interesting to listen to, well-spoken and funny. It was easy to admire him. Being attracted to him, though, that was something Nick just wasn't entirely ready for.

He sighed again, he was either going to go crazy or give in. Either one, sooner rather than later.

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Nick saw the surprise register on Jake's face when he opened the door. "I know you weren't expecting me."

"No, but that's fine. it's cool, man, c'mon in." Jake said, his eyes sweeping over Nick, looking for any kind of hint as to why he'd shown up, appearing as abruptly as he'd disappeared a few days before.

There was a long, awkward pause while the two men looked at each other.

"I'm going a little crazy here." Nick finally said.

Jake waited, to see if Nick would say more, but when he didn't, asked, "And. why is that?"

"Because I just keep. I'm wondering what. I mean, I just can't stop thinking. that. I. what the fuck.." he mumbled, closing the distance between himself and Jake, giving him a kiss that left little doubt what he'd been thinking about.

Jake was the first to pull away, more than a little shocked at the suddenness and intensity of Nick's actions. "What. changed.?" he gasped. The kiss had left him a little breathless.

Nick stepped back, giving them both some space again. "I don't know." He paced around a little. "I have no fucking clue. I just keep thinking. like, why not? I know you want to, I think I want to. so. yeah."

"You want to what?" Jake asked, hoping for a little more clarification. He'd be fine with whatever Nick wanted, but wanted to take whatever information he could in before reacting further.

"Try. this. Whatever the fuck this is. I don't know. I just keep thinking about you and wondering about. what might. could happen. I probably should have called, but I probably would have punked out somewhere between the phone and your house so I just came over and." he was cut off from his ramble, Jake having stepped up to kiss him again.

He tried...and finally succeeded in relaxing in the kiss, letting himself feel what was really happening. and enjoy it. He felt Jake's hands on either side of his face, holding him exactly where he wanted him to be. He didn't know who was in control just then. and he couldn't have cared less.