Gail Borowicq I remember when I was 11 years old. I went to bible school. The teacher explained about Jesus and about everlasting life. She said who wants to go to heaven? I walked up to the altar along with other children. She told us that we had to ask God to forgive our sins, and ask Jesus to come into our hearts. While I was praying I actually felt a touch in my heart. I think I even asked another little girl if she felt something. I'll never forget what was on the blackboard: YUREKA We found it! What did you find? GOD'S LOVE Where did you find it? IN GOD'S WORD Where in God's word? FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THATHE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHALL NOT PERISH, BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE. JOHN 3:16 Soon after I was saved, things around me started falling apart. My mom and dad argued a lot. Daddy drank and mom cried a lot. I would lay in my bed and hear the arguments. My Daddy meant everything to me. I loved him so much. The alcohol changed him. He was so good when he wasn't drinking. Mom was only 17 when they married. She took a lot of abuse that I was blind to as a child. They divorced when I was 13. My only brother, who was eleven months younger than me, begged to stay with Daddy. Mom allowed him to. Mom started dating one of my Dad's friends. He turned out to be a lot more abusive than my Dad ever was. Daddy died in 1976. My brother came to live with us. So it was me, mom, Mike, and our new step dad Bob. I could not begin to tell you all the things that my brother and I went through. I held on to God so tight through those years. I was only allowed to go to church. I wasn't allowed to go to any school functions or anything. Bob ruled and Satan ruled him. I think back on those times and I wonder how on Earth I could turn away from God after he got me through all of that. When I was 20 I was hurt so much by a first love. Then I started hanging around the wrong kind of people. I see things so differently now that I am older. I can look back on my life and see where Satan was at work. I struggled with the question of how I could I have sinned so against God. Satan hides your shame for a while, but believe me that shame of that sin will hit you like a ton of bricks when God takes away that blindfold. When I was deep in sin I thought I wasn't hurting anyone but myself. That is a thought planted by Satan. I was hurting my Lord and Savior. God has done so much for me. I have seen his hand through out my life. He saved my husband on March 1st of 1999; in turn he saved our marriage and brought me back to him. That week of March 1st the Holy Spirit was bubbling over in my home. I could see Jesus in my husband's eyes. I could hold his hand and feel god's surge. I had a lot of holes in my heart from a lot of hurt. I actually felt a tapping in my heart for 2 days straight and in my mind I knew that Jesus was filling the holes. No matter what you've been through. No matter whet you've done. Know that God loves you. Know that he will forgive you. You have to get down on your knees and just ask. He is always there. Get rid of the sin between you and him and put him first. You will be eternally grateful. Love Your sister in Christ, Gail Borowicq