Israeli Paramedics Association
Critical Laugh Paramedic
Announcement from the
Jewish Burial Society
Spokesman's Office:
Due to Annual Vacation of the Jewish Burial
Society's GraveDiggers ,
Physicians and Paramedics are kindly requested
to do their best to prevent Pts from dying
between the dates of 12 - 30 of June.
One night , you hear the dispatcher calling on the Radio:
"Doc 34 , Doc 34 , Return to the station Please .......you forgot your
Radio here...."
No Avail , the Paramedic was trying to convinced the injured Drunker to agree to be transported to the Hospital.
Paramedic: Are you coming with us or not ?
Drunker: Okkkaaayy , I will.........But in One Con...Con....Condition: -
That I'm driving !
A well known Physician , arriving a Corpse , lifting its left hand and leave.
"It is CVA" diagnosed the Doc.
The amused Paramedic - raised the Corpse's right hand and left.
The surprised Doc - in Once in a Life-Time Lightning - came up with his
brilliant new Diagnosis:
"It is Bi-lateral CVA" !!!
Both Corpse and Doc are doing Okay !
To Paramedic Shimon !
Attantion Please -
You are authorized (like you did yesterday) to Defibrillate a pt with VT
But NOT to Defibrillate with him the EMT !!!
In one of the bad MVA up north , the gound team's commander asked
for an Air Ambulance.
When he saw the Chopper circled above the scene , he asked the
dispatcher to lead the pilot the direction:
"Tell him to make a turn on the First road-junction to the right and
on the seconed crossroad to the left......
Approximately 5:00 AM , The ALS team arriving the base station , after
two suicide's death cases. The Paramedic ran to the toilets due to his
good appetite .....
On the same time , entered the station a man , stood infront of the
dispatch center room, Aimed a gun to his head , and shot himself to death.
The Brave Paramedic heard the shot gun , pulled his pants up , drew his
own gun and went out the toilets bending and looking to check what
happend.
At the same moment , as he used to do every morning , arrived the
station's storehouse in charge.
He looked at the decease , then shouted the Paramedic:
"Why? ......Why did you shot him?"
"Are you disturbed ? Why to shoot people" ?
Now , try to explain him , that you were in the toilets........
MICU's team was dispatched to a Susp. Pulmonary Edema pt.
When the door was opened , the living room seemed like one of the
Hitchekoc's films episode.
The pt is sitting in an armchair , sink in blood from head to toes.
The Carpet , the floor , the armchair were floating in blood too....
On the Table , were 3 coffee cups full with blood.
Around the Hipovolemic pt , jumping an old man (seems like 147 y/o...)
wearing a gown longer then his own height , his hands are blood-stained
up to his elbows , holding a razor in one hand and a cup full of blood in
the other.....
According to the 147 y/o honorable Doc - he was the head of the ICU
in Russia in 1934 , and he is providing the pt. the "blood draining"
treatment - as acceptable - only because leck of proper equipment , he
performed few transverse cuts on the pt's wrists and the inner part of the
albows.....and collected the blood into cups of coffee.......
* Once Again - Despite the devoted treatment - the pt was saved !!!
A Doc , from the same Medicine Faculty of the doc in the last story -
diagnosed that his wife suffered attack of Rapid Atrial Fibrillation of app.
170 / min.
At once - he provide her - an ACLS care - according the Algorhithm of
the Grimm Brothers:
1 mg Epinephrin & 1 mg of Atropine , both administered - S.Cutan.....
And if that is not an Excellent Example for an
Happy Marriage life - so what is ???
MICU = Mad's Intensive Care Unit
PT = Potential Troublemaker
To Be Continued....
Paramedic Neomi Zvi - Jan 2000
Paramedic Erez Shtir