Warnings: Abuse of HP characters; "Hints of Slash," acid/base chemistry.
Day 18, Saturday Nominations
It's a fine bright morning. And a surprisingly uneventful morning. So much so that after breakfast Draco considers it safe to go out to the jacuzzi for a morning soak. Unfortunately, by the time he has made all his preparations, he finds Hermione already reading in one of the rocking chairs.
Draco: What are you doing here?
Hermione: Can't I ever get any peace - anywhere I go you're in the way!
Draco: You sound like Professor Snape.
Hermione: Well! He's got a point, you know.
Draco(sigh): I'm going to sit in the tub, if you don't mind.
Hermione: I guess not.. I'm not using it, just reading.
Draco: .... That was not a polite request to join you, Granger. That was a subtle way of telling you to GO AWAY.
Hermione(looks up): I know.
Draco(notices her book "Transylvanian Tryst" which features a pair of colorfully clad lovers on the cover): What in the name of outrageously improbable plot twists are you reading, Granger?!
Hermione: Summer Reading. One should be familiar with all genres..
Draco: I suppose you're too scared to ask Professor Snape for a real book. (shakes head) I'm going to sit in the water now. (He takes off his outer robe, revealing some sort of dark green swim trunks ("A Malfoy wardrobe must provide apparel for all occassions"), and, of course, very pale skin. Hermione glances over as he cautiously steps in.)
Hermione: AGH! Blind me with your deathly whiteness!
Draco: Pale skin is the mark of aristocracy. A dark tan is a sign of the working classes.
Hermione: What! What century are you living in!?
Draco: The current one! Just because you buy into all this muggle hype about "beauty" doesn't mean the rest of us do.
Hermione: Said the boy who ordered 7 hair care products!
Draco(relaxing, arms behind head): Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hermione: Well you are going to burn to death in there without any muggle sun tan products..Sirius was looking quite red the other day, come to think of it.
Draco: Don't worry, Mudblood, I don't have such interesting romance novels to distract me out here...
(Hermione throws her book at his head; he ducks under the water - comes back up spluttering.)
Hermione: HAH!
Draco: Phew! tastes terrible! What sort of water is this... (looks down at himself as if he's been thrown into a vat of rotting anchovies.)
Hermione: You wonder why I haven't gone in there! I don't trust anything Big Brother gives us... although Bertie seems to be fine..(starts to laugh)
Draco: What?
Hermione: ... your hair.. hahahah!
Draco: ..... what about it?
Hermione: -it's turning green! hahah-
Draco: WHAT!!! (jumps from jacuzzi, grabs towel and dashes into house)
Hermione: HAHAHAH!!!
Draco runs into the den - stops at one of the ornamental mirrors on the welsh dresser.
Draco: AHHHHH!!!
Lupin(on couch sipping from highball glass): Taking fashion tips from Tonks now, Draco?
Draco: WHAT WAS IN THAT WATER!!! (continues out) PROFESSOR SNAPE!!
Lupin(smiles): No rest for the weary..
Cut to Sun Room;
Voldemort is on his sofa, stroking the cat who sleeps on his lap, Snape and Lucius Malfoy sit on the sofa opposite him.
Lucius: Do you hear that?
Draco(from elsewhere): PROFESSSOR SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!!!
Snape: ... (blinks)
Voldemort: I wonder what this could be about, since he comes running to you and not Daddy...
Lucius(smiling devilishly): Yes, I'd like to know for future reference...
Snape: (pulls out wand; mutters grumpily) Sonorus.. Malfoy. Sun Room.
----
Kitchen - Draco looks around, confused at hearing his professor's voice so loud and emanating apparently from the ceiling...
Draco: ... wh..?
BigBrother: NO MAGIC, PROFESSOR SNAPE!!
----
Voldemort: Blatant disregard for the rules, and out of sheer indolence, no less....I approve, Severus.
Snape: I'm not calling through the house like someone's nurse maid...
(Enter Draco; wrapped in towel, hair a subtle turquoise. Lucius and Voldemort immediately begin to chuckle; Snape is mildly annoyed.)
Snape: .... Draco...
Draco(sits petutantly between Lucius and Snape; they bounce with the impact): What is going on?
Voldemort: Excellent question.. (folds hands in anticipation)
Draco: I was hoping Professor Snape could explain that!! and change my hair back.
Lucius: Oh yes, do tell, Dear Potions Professor.
Snape(observes a moment; speaks slowly): ...You were in the pool... Muggle mismanagement of simple water chemistry..
Draco: Of course.
Snape: ... And... blatant overuse of muggle hair care products (Draco pouts) .. Somewhere along the line you have picked up too much copper....and.. the aggressive spa water attracts and dissolves it .. but then residual alkaline substances -I would assume from your various hair products - produce some precipitate.. most likely copper sulfate (sees that he's lost them all).. which makes your blond hair look green.
Draco: .....er..
Snape: .... not to mention that the high temperature hastens the reaction.
Draco: So.. how do I get rid of it?
Snape: Magic.
Draco: B-
Snape: Or it will wash off with a few showers... You should stop using so many products.. and don't stick your head underwater in the spa.
Draco(sniffs): All right. (gets up) I'm going to shower now. Thanks, Professor Snape. (exit)
Snape(the "you're welcome" grumble): nmm.
Lucius: They always need someone other than the parent to tell them, don't they?
Voldemort: I rather like it that way. He should leave it green.
Sometime later in the den..Sirius Black stalks in - finds Lupin lounging on the sofa, still sipping from his glass..
Black: LOOK WHO'S DRINKING NOW!
Lupin(looks up guiltily and slightly flushed): heh.. it's just a spot of tonic water..
Black: annnnd?
Lupin:.... oh.. a little something I found in the cabinet there..
Black: (plops down on couch next to him): I'm glad you've decided to grace us with your presence today. These must be high times when Moony arbitrarily sleeps in all day!
Lupin(chuckles): ah.. I was tired-
Black: Oh no, I don't blame you! No, no! - if I had an army of servants bringing me food, I'd stay in bed all day too!
Lupin: "army"! just Tonks and Harry-
Black: Well, I sent Harry along. (winks) It was my duty, I thought.
Lupin: ohhh, now.. now -- spys, Sirius?
Black: Harry was concerned about your health.... and also about Tonks's ability to carry trays when in your presence... (snickers)
(Suddenly Harry runs in)
Harry: Hey! Have you guys seen Draco's hair?!
Lupin: It's a lovely shade of sea green
Black: WHAT?
Harry: Come on! (Black gets up to investigate, but Lupin waves them off)
Lupin: nah - I've already seen it... you have fun..
Harry: Quick -before he gets in the shower - let's go!
(They run up the stairs - nearly knocking over Tonks in their haste)
Tonks: Hey - No running in the stairs!
Harry: Come on, Draco's hair!
Tonks: oh? I need to see this.. (joins them as they dash for the men's bathroom; Draco has finished glaring at his reflection in the mirror and is about to go for a shower when the three of them burst in, stumbling and falling over themselves like the Keystone Cops)
Draco: .... What- GET OUT OF HERE!
Tonks: AH HAHAHAHHAHA!
Black: HAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Draco(to Harry, who is only grinning): Potter!!
Harry: Malfoy! did one of your products do this??
Draco(smirks): Professor Snape said...(pause... what did Professor Snape say?) .. it's from copper.. and the pool... (adds quietly) and the hair products.
Black: A triple threat!
Tonks: Copper?
Draco: I have no idea. Now GO AWAY! (goes into a stall and slams door - no towel appears over it, though. Clearly he is waiting for them to leave.)
Tonks(grinning): Are you sure it's safe to go in there, Draco?
Draco: Safer in here than out there!
Black: Come on, I don't think Albus has heard yet.. (exeunt)
The trio finds Professor Dumbledore in the kitchen talking to Hermione as he cleans the stove.
Black: Well well! Have we taken the fort??
Dumbledore: Temporarily at least..
Black: Good! (starts handing out ice cream sandwiches from the freezer)
Tonks: You know what that means.
Harry: Death Eater Convention in the sun room?
-
Voldemort: We were successful in our last attempt.. whom shall we target this week?
Lucius: The boy or Albus?
Snape: Potter.
Voldemort: Severus speaks, even.. But I thought you were after Mr. Black?
-
Dumbledore: I'm afraid so.
Black: I'm surprised Big Brother considers it cheating to use magic, but forming voting blocs is perfectly acceptable!
Harry(glaring dramatically): They get away with murder..
-
Snape: He won't be voted off.
Voldemort(eyes narrowed): .... defeatism...
Snape: common sense..
-
Hermione: Maybe we should form a voting bloc.
Dumbledore: I think we already have, Hermione.
Black(munching): Oh?
Dumbledore: Don't you all vote for Tom?
Harry: I do.
Black: I do.
Hermione: I do.
Tonks: .. I usually give him a point or two, yes.
Black(thoughtfully): Although.. last week I voted for the Malfoys.
Dumbledore: Last week I voted for myself.
All: WHAT!
-
Voldemort: We have an opportunity to vote off Albus. Let's take it.
Lucius: Fine.
Voldemort: And, Severus... don't play tiddlywinks today.
-
Dumbledore(chuckles): random selection..
(Suddenly Draco appears in the doorway. He's showered, dressed again, has his hair wrapped neatly in a green towel)
Draco: All right - WHO put a feather boa down the drain!! (Hermione and Tonks burst into laughter) And what is all this?? That's our ice cream!!!
Dumbledore(ignores Malfoy, speaking to Harry): I was considering whether to institute a mandatory two-week program on Learning How To Share.... What do you think, Harry?
Harry(grins): It should be a remedial course, only for those who don't know already..
Draco: Very funny.
Black: So, Draco.. how about that close call this week - Your father nearly got voted off...
Draco: (at Hermione) Almost, indeed... but the audience showed a little more taste than most people here... and got rid of the Weasel instead.
Harry: I think you're missing the Death Eater Convention in the sun room.. why don't you go play with them?
Dumbledore: (suddenly sneezes - the towel flies off Draco's head revealing green hair)
BigBrother: NO MAGIC!!!!!
Draco: AGH!
(the others laugh)
Dumbledore(innocently): Oh, excuse me. Bit of an allergy, I suppose.... By the way, I like that color on you, Draco. It goes well with your robes.
Draco: (scowls at floor) Professor Snape said it will go away on its own.. (exit)
Black: heheh - that was brilliant, Albus.
Dumbledore(smiling broadly): I think sometimes that Tom has a point... I ought to drop the Old Sage Act and have fun a bit more often..
Black: Not a good idea - you have any more fun and your eyes are going to stop twinkling and spontaneously combust.
Dumbledore: Thank you, Sirius..
Saturday Night Nominations:
Black: Voldemort seems to be behaving himself these days, so I'm nominating first the Big Malfoy then the little one.
Dumbledore: I know Tom's nominating me, so I'll nominate him for two. Then by random selection, I came up with Sirius
Hermione: I vote Voldemort for two and Draco for one.
Lupin: How many magic violations has it been? two - three? let's get rid of Voldemort! and... I'll give the other point to Lucius.
Draco: I nominate Dummydore for two and Potter for one.
Lucius: I nominate Dumbledore for two points, and Harry Potter for one.
Harry: I'm nominating VOLDEMORT!! And then.. uh..... I guess Snape.
Riddle: Albus MUST GO, I repeat! And then one point for Mr. Potter.
Snape: I know it's hopeless, but I'm nominating Black for two points, and Albus for one.
Tonks: I'm trying Mr. Malfoy again, and then Voldemort for the other, since it is my duty..
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A/N That's worse than last week. Voldemort for 9 pts, Dumbledore for 7, Malfoy for 5, Harry for 3, and Sirius for 3.