� A redhead, a brunette, and a blond are in the ladies room of a very old theatre when the mirror begins to speak. The mirror says that it only comes out once every hundred years and that it grants noble wishes. It clarifies, "I will only grant a wish that portrays what you truly believe, if you tell one lie you will instantly disappear." The brunette steps forward and says, "I think that all children should have enough to eat." Because the mirror knew that this is what the girl really believed in the wish was granted. The redhead steps forward and says, "I think that there should be world peace." Because the mirror knew that this is what the girl really believed in the wish was granted. Lastly, the blonde stepped forward and said, "Golly, I guess I think... Whap!! She disappeared.
� Q: Five blondes are facing execution, a rocket scientist, a historian, a bimbo, and a mathematician. They are each hit with one bullet but only one bleeds, which one?
A: The bimbo, you have to be real to bleed.
� A blind man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He takes one sip and senses that everyone is staring at him. In order to break the ice he says, "Would you like to hear a good blonde joke?" The bar tender says, "I think you should know before you tell this joke that I am a blonde, there are 7 bikers in the corner that are blond and, there is a 6'5" 290lbs. weight lifter working the other end of the bar who is also blonde. You still want to tell the joke?" The blind man says, "Your right, who wants to explain a joke 9 times?"
� Q: How do blond brain cells die?
A: Alone.
� A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar. He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, buddy. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but also women in general, all in the name of humor." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister. I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee."
� A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.
� Three women escaped from prison. One was a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw and the deputy yelled back, "Just three gunnysacks." The sheriff told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the redhead in it. She went, "Bow-wow", so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in it. Then he kicked the sack with the brunette in it. She went, "Meow", so the deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in it. Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it, and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again, and finally the blonde said, "Potatoes."
� One day a blond was riding down a country road with her boyfriend when she saw another blond out in a rowboat in the middle of a grain field. The blond in the truck was very upset at this sight and commented, "Those are the kind of blonds that give blonds a bad name. If I could swim I would go out there and kick her butt."
