| October Journal |
| October 1, 2001 Wow, it's October already. I'm looking forward to tonight because my New York Jets are playing at home against the SF 49ers for Monday Night Football. Whooo hooo! J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets!!! Ok, got that outta my system. :) To be perfectly honest, today isn't starting so good. I'm in a lot of pain. I think my spine is adjusting to the weight change. It is all outta wack. I'm in more pain than I've had in a very long time. I wish I could take Ibuprofen, that would help a lot, but after gastric bypass surgery all anti-inflammatories are a no-no apparently. :( So here I am at 5 am, unable to sleep. I've iced my neck down to the point of numbing my skin, I'm evening committing another WLS sin and sipping regular coffee. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to have caffiene! I'm hoping that the tiny bit I am having will at least help with the headache. Don't worry, I won't overdo it. To be perfectly honest, I'm about ready to take a dose of the liquid pain med they gave me after surgery! I'm just worried about it knocking me out. Mike's at work and I have three little ones who need me to be coherent. I'm going to have to reschedule my appt. with my surgeon today. I'm bummed about that but it's just one of those things that can't be helped. Vehichle breakdown and Fresno is just a little too far away to "hoof it". Anyway, I guess that's all for now. Have a great day!! :) October 3, 2001 I want to take a moment to thank all of you who have taken the time to write to me. It means so much to me to know that my website is truly reaching out to people in the way I hoped it would. (((HUGS))) Please keep in touch! :) Love, Lorie October 4, 2001 Great news! I had my check up with my surgeon today. I'm down a total of 41.5 lb. since surgery!!! Go check out my progress for the full picture. I'm especially proud of the changes in my lean body mass and fat mass and fat percentage! I've been working hard and it's showing! Whooo hooo! I met a girl at my surgeon's office today who was there for her first consultation with one of my doctor's associates. She seemed nervous yet excited, much the same way I remember feeling when I first walked through those doors. We chatted for a few minutes before she was called in, I hope I was able to be of some encouragement to her. October 6, 2001 I touched a red tail hawk today! :) October 13, 2001 I've been avoiding writing because I've been dealing with the head hunger again. I am tolerating nearly every food I eat which is making it hard to make wise choices. I ate a bologna and cheese sandwich yesterday (Have you ever checked out the fat in bologna? It's loaded!), I've had regular cheddar cheese, apple cider, the list could go on. This is so hard. I don't want to dump, but I almost wish it would happen just to help keep me in check. My exercising has been taking a back seat lately. Most days I am doing only 2 miles a day instead of 4 and there have even been a couple days where I haven't walked at all. I feel like I've lost a few more inches, I was able to put on a pair of size 22 jean shorts today (button and zip-no elastic!). They are still too tight when I'm sitting, but I can stand like a champ in them! LOL Happy Birthday, Dad. October 16, 2001 The most amazing thing is beginning to happen to me...I'm not recognizing my own body! It sounds crazy but it's true. The other day I looked down at my hands when I was typing and realized that they looked so foreign to me. The puffiness is gone! My fingers are starting to look slimmer, my wedding ring spins on my ring finger and my watch is too loose! Wow! Today I was sitting in the recliner and I looked down at my legs. They too looked too slender to belong to me. It's amazing! A lot of people are really noticing now and it feels so good. I love hearing comments like, "how much weight have you lost now?" or "you look really good". It makes my day. :) October 23, 2001 I've been struggling again with head hunger. It seems to hit me hardest at night when Mike is closing the store. He doesn't get home until 1 a.m. and I find myself wanting to snack snack snack! I am mostly wanting salty/cheesey type food at this point. I've found I have to be very careful with sugar. I haven't "dumped" like most people do, but it makes me unbearably sleepy. Before my surgery if I ate something very high in sugar like a candy bar, it would drop me like a rock. I'd be ok for a few minutes and then suddenly I wouldn't be able to keep my eyes open for anything! I had some 'Nilla Waffers the other day and the same thing happened The only difference is that it took a lot LESS sugar than before. Not a good feeling. Other than that I'm still doing great, I feel good. I'm still having a lot of back/neck pain but I believe that will adjust with time. I'm nearly 50 lb. down now! Unreal! I never thought I'd ever get this far down again! And I've got even further to go :) October 31, 2001 We had a wonderful time taking the boys trick-or-treating tonight. We walked around with another family that we've become friends with. Up until now I have done OK with the whole candy thing but I finally broke down tonight. I threw caution to the wind and tried a couple of the kids candies. I'm not feeling so good. So far I'm not having a dramatic reaction, but I feel like crap. My head hurts and I feel incredibly tired. My tummy is slightly queasy too. Ugh...I just had to do it, didn't I? It's so weird, when the compulsion to eat hits me, it's completely overwhelming. That hadn't hit me for a while but it's back again. I have to admit, I'm scared. "What if..." What if I eat too much and stretch my pouch back out? What if I blow my window of opportunity for the weight loss? What if I get addicted to sugar again? Ugh...I better head to bed, I feel awful. |
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