I've been aware of my sexuality since my early teens.  I can't understand how it is that some people make it to adulthood without realizing that they are gay.  Seemed pretty obvious to me.  The issue was what to do about it.  As a teen and young adult, the fear of rejection was too strong to overcome, and I remained firmly closeted.  As I aged, I became more confident, more bold, and much less concerned about what the rest of the world thinks of me.  When I considered how many lies I had to tell to remain in the closet, I concluded that my salvaging my credibility was worth risking my personal and professional relationships.

Make no mistake:  being openly gay puts every relationship you cultivated under your 'straight' facade on the line.  As much as we like to think we know how people will react when we look them in the eye and utter those words, "I'm gay," it's impossible to predict.  There are simply too many emotions, too many fears, and too many stereotypes out there for us to reliably predict how even the closest friends or family members will react.  As I tell anyone who is considering coming out:  be prepared to simply walk away from a relationship forever.

Was it worth the risk?  In my case, there's no question about it:  yes.  The truth granted me freedom, peace of mind, and self-respect.  Not a single person has turned away from me (a testament to the integrity of my friends and family members), and I've made more new friends than I can count.  It wasn't easy telling people, but once the initial shock (in some cases) wore off, things got back to normal.

I have come to believe that those of us who pass for straight -- who display no outward clues as to our sexuality -- need to be open about being gay. We can show people that it's not an abnormality; it's merely a difference. We can prove that we come in all shapes, colors, and sizes. We can demonstrate that there are millions of us out there living perfectly ordinary lives.

That's why I'm being more open about my sexuality. I want to show people that when they tell a gay joke or make fun of the homosexual stereotypes or vote against a gay rights measure, they're affecting a much larger segment of the population than they realize. It's morally and legally wrong to discriminate based on age, race, and gender. Our laws protect our rights to free speech, to bear arms, to worship as we choose, to assemble, etcetera. Yet, amidst all this protection, it remains acceptable to discriminate against me solely because I was meant to share my life with another man. The discrimination needs to stop, and it won't stop as long as we hide behind that closet door.

Sometimes, I feel foolish for not coming out earlier, then I remind myself how much things have changed in the past 10 or 15 years.  Had I come out as a young adult, this story may have been dramatically different.  Life is full of "coulda, shoulda, woulda, didn'ts," and this is one I'm not going to worry about.