Thanks Daisy Dee!
11th January 2004
Alfie: Kat listen, none of this really matters alright? We love each other.
Kat: It might not matter to you but I've had two wedding days and you've ruined them both!
Alfie: Oh but you wanted me to ruin the first one though didn't ya?
Kat: I thought I did.
Alfie: You telling me now that you wanted to marry this Andy bloke?
Kat: Well at least he went to the trouble of getting a proper vicar!
Alfie: Well did you wanna marry him?
Kat: No, of course not.
Alfie: So you love me then.
Kat: It's very hard to love you Alfie:
Alfie: Why?
Kat: Because you keep making a mess of things and I don't know where I am.
Alfie: You're hear, with me. All of this has just been a hiccup-
Kat: A hiccup? The cars being late, losing a ring, is a hiccup, but getting your mate to impersonate a registrar isn't!
Alfie: I've already explained that.
Kat: Yeah, like you explain everything else.
(Kat begins to cry)
Alfie: Hey, hey, come on.
Kat: I'm sorry.
Alfie: What you saying sorry for, you've got nothing to be sorry about. This is all my fault.
Kat: Today was meant to be my special day.
Alfie: Yeah I know.
Kat: No you don't. This was my day. It was my happy ending.
Alfie: Kat I'll sort it alright.
Kat: You can't
Alfie: Kat what you talking about? I'm Alfie Moon, I can sort out anything can't I?
Kat: Will you stop it?
Alfie: What?
Kat: Talking to me like I'm one of them down there!
Alfie: I don't understand...
Kat: I don't want you to be Alfie Moon! I want you to be a normal bloke! And I want a normal wedding, with normal people! With bridesmaids and flowers and everybody telling me how beautiful I am but I DON'T GET THAT DO I? I never get what other people have!
Alfie: Yeah you do...
Kat: No I don't! I get this! People down there laughing at me while I'm up here being told by another bloke that I'm gonna be let down again, WELL I'M SICK OF IT! AND I'M SICK OF BEING KAT SLATER! AND I'M SICK OF PEOPLE LOOKING DOWN THEIR NOSE AT ME! I'M SICK OF FEELING DIRTY AND CHEAP! I'M SICK OF EVERYTHING! I WANNA BE A NICE GIRL!
Alfie: Kat, you are
Kat: No I'm not! I'm dirty! And that's why nothing nice ever happen to me. I'm sick of everything, and I'M SICK OF YOU!
(Kat locks herself in the bathroom in tears).
~*~
Alfie: You know Nana told me something about how I'm always trying to make people happy. I even go out of my way to prove what I great bloke I am, that I forget what's reallu important. I mean, it's not enough that I'm marrying the girl of my dreams on Christmas Day, don't even matter about the little bits of paperwork. Alfie Moon eh? It's no fun unless I'm proving how clever I am by winging it or scrping through by the skin of my teeth, to a rapturous applause naturally. But whatever you do, don't let them look in your eyes, cos then they'll know who you really are.
Kat: And who are you Alfie?
Alfie: Just like you I suppose. Someone who wants to be loved. But people like us, we convince ourselves that we don't deserve it, so what do we do, we put up a front. It don't hurt, but it don't go away either. And me, well i chase it like a performing seal, anything to please, anthying for someone to say "Hey, you're alright Alfie, you're a wonderful bloke". But you, you kick against it, and attack with you is the best form of defence. So, all we do to ourselvs and people we care about, we just make them unhappy.
Kat: But I love you. You know, you're trying so hard to get something you've already got.
Alfie: What you said about being dirty, you ain't.
Kat: Ain't I? Well it feels like it sometimes.
Alfie: You're the most special girl in the whole world, and I will fight anybody who says you ain't!
Kat: What, with one arm?
Alfie: One arm, no arms, no legs if I have to. Well I could bite their ankles couldn't I?
Kat: What am I gonna do with you? You know the only thing you've done wrong is keeping it all to yourself. I want us to tell each other everything, good and bad.
Alfie: It's a bit scary.
Kat: I want us to do everything together.
Alfie: Ok. So, can i kiss you now then?
Kat: I ain't forgiven you yet!
Alfie: Oh alright, no tongues.
Kat: Alfie Moon...
Alfie: Oh shut up...
(They kiss!)