Interpersonal Relations

Phlegmatic

The person of a phlegmatic temperament often doesn't stand out and shine in obvious ways. He isn't trying to be perfect. He doesn't mind being a leader (provided he knows what he's doing) but he often doesn't mind at all if he's not the leader either. He loves people but doesn't want to stand out in a group, and sometimes just can't think of anything to say.

So far I've talked about what phlegmatics are "not". But here's what they are: They are caring. They will do most anything to make you happy. They are sociable in a quiet way. They can talk a lot if they know you or you have something in common to talk about. And they are usually terrific listeners. They are gentle by nature. And they are the peacemakers.

Emotionally, the phlegmatic is different from the other temperaments. His or her emotions are truly there, because he or she truly cares. But the people of a phlegmatic temperament are usually not "up" or "down" by fits and starts (unless there are physical factors or overwhelming stress). The phlegmatic wonders what all the storm is about, as the emotions of others bounce off the walls around him.

The phlegmatic dislikes conflict and will do a lot to avoid it, sometimes even to the point of not communicating about important things or going along with others in stupid stuff. This is where the phlegmatic temperament gets the reputation of being weak. This is also why a phlegmatic child must be given very good reasons for good behavior, solid reasons to make his own decisions and have his own values, because a phlegmatic child will sometimes follow his parents implicity but -- if his allegiance is turned elsewhere -- he may follow someone else implicitly instead.

When a person with a phlegmatic temperament is well-grounded in his or her own values, he can have a will of iron which nothing can break. These are the people who -- when they are at their best -- can withstand the storm, and calm the raging battle.

DISCLAIMER: Please note again, as I said in the introduction to the temperaments, that most people are a combination of two or even three temperaments, and also that there are many other factors that go into the making of our personalities.

More info: Choleric - Sanguine - Melancholy - Phlegmatic

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