| RELATIONSHIPS/ Guys and Girls |
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| The Ten Commandments Of Love: 1. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me. 2. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor bad mouth me behind my back 3. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else. 4. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are too damn weird. 5. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee. 6. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it if thou knowest what's good for thee. 7. Thou shalt not steal from my purse/wallet while I am in thy bathroom, nor use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from my telephone. 8. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends. 9. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor's house. 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Squeeze, nor son or daughter, nor stereo, nor BMW. |
| The difference between women and men is that women love their children. They know everything about them, including birthdays, allergies, likes and dislikes. Men are vaguely aware of some short people living in their house. -Dave Barry |
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs; A women will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn't. |
| After a few weeks of Adam being by himself in the garden of Eden, he got lonely. So he went to God and asked for a companion. God said he would look into it and get back to him the next day. So the next day God went to Adam and said "Here Adam, I can make a beautiful woman that cooks, irons, cleans, never complains and is pretty much just what you want, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg, what do you think?" Adam thought for a few seconds and then asked, "what can I get for a rib?" |
| My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It's titled: "Woman are from Venus, Men are Wrong." |
| I want I sensitive man; one who will cry when I hit him. -Some girl |