(Nine O'clock News intro in the newsroom behind. Behind the newsreader
several men including Jeremy Thorpe are drinking and celebrating. A
woman is dancing on the table.)
Newsreader: Good evening. Over 400,000 million pounds were
wiped off the value of shares this afternoon, when someone in the
Stock Exchange coughed. Sport: capital punishment is to be
re-introduced in the first and second division. Any player found
tackling from behind or controlling the ball with the lower part of
the arm will be hanged. But the electric chair remains the standard
punishment for threatening the goalie. Referee's chairman, Len
Goebbels said 'at last the referee has been given teeth'. Finally,
politics: the latest opinion poll published today shows Labour
ahead with 40%, the AA second with 38% and not surprisingly
Kentucky Fried Chicken running the Liberals a very close third.
And now back to me. Hello. And now it's time to go over to Hugh
Delaney in Paignton.
(Cut to the linkman on the pier at Paignton. A smallish crowd is gathered
behind him including Jerermy Thorpe who waves at the camera from the
back.)
Linkman: Hello and welcome to Paignton, because it's from
Paignton that we take you straight back to the studio.
(Cut to a man in swimming trunks and a snorkel pushed back on his
head standing in the studio holding a stuffed polecat on a pole.)
Man: Hello. And it's from here we go over there.
(Cut to the 'Most Awful Family' presenter.)
Presenter: Well we're already here so let's go over there.
(Cut back to the newsreader.)
Newsreader: Welcome back. And now it's time for part eight of our
series about the life and work of Ursula Hifier, the Surrey
housewife who revolutionized British beekeeping in the
nineteen-thirties.
Voice Over: and CAPTION: 'THAT WAS A PARTY POLITICAL
BROADCAST ON BEHALI? OF THE LIBERAL PARTY'
(His voice breaks up with giggles. Fade to blackout. The end.)
Series 4 Scripts