(Close up on a sign saying 'Harley Street'. Stirring music. Mix through to
interior of a smart, plush, ever so expensive Harley Street consulting
room. The music swelh and fades. Knocking at door, a short pause, then
T.F. Gumby enters, backwards.)
T. F. Gumby: Doctor! Doctor! DOCTOR! (he goes up to the
antique desk and bangs thl bell violently; he smashes the intercorn and
generally breaks the desk up) Doctor! Doctor! DOCTOR!
DOCTOR! Doctor! Doctor! Where is the Doctor?
(A pause. Then another door opens and another Gumby appears.)
Specialist: Hello!
T. F. Gumby: Are you the' brain specialist?
Specialist: Hello!
T. F. Gumby: Are you the brain specialist?
Specialist: No, no, I am not the brain specialist. No, no, I am not...
Yes. Yes I am.
T. F. Gumby: My brain hurts!
Specialist: Well let's take a look at it, Mr Gumby.
(Gumby specialist starts to pull up Gumby's sweater.)
T. F. Gumby: No, no, no, my brain in my head. (specialist thumps him on
the head)
Specialist: It will have to come out.
T. F. Gumby: Out? Of my head?
Specialist: Yes! All the bits of it. Nurse! Nurse! (a nurse enters) Nurse,
take Mr Gumby to a brain surgeon.
Nurse: Yes doctor...
(She leads Gumby out. In the background the specialist is grunting and
shouting.)
Specialist: Where's the 'Lancet'?
Nurse: (to T. F. Gumby) He's brilliant you know.
Specialist: Where's the bloody 'Lancet'? My brain hurts too.
(Ambulance racing. 'Dr Kildare' theme. Cut to operating theatre. The
surgeon is not a Gumby.)
Surgeon: (putting on Gumby props) Gloves ... glasses...
moustache... handkerchief... (Gumby voice) I'm going to
operate!!
(We now see he is surrounded by Gumbys. T. F. Gumby is on operating table.)
All: Let's operate.
(They begin to use woodworking implements on T. F. Gumby.)
T. F. Gumby: Hello!
Surgeon: Ooh! We forgot the an�sthetic!
Operating Gumbys: The an�sthetic! The an�sthetic!
(At that moment a Gumby an�sthetist comes crashing through the wall
with two gas cylinders.)
Gumby An�sthetist: I've come to an�sthetize you!!
(He raises a gas cylinder and strikes Gumby hard over the head with it.
Bong. Blackness.)
Series 3 Scripts