Voice Over: Meanwhile back in London ... at the British Explorers' Club in the Mall...
(Cut to the leather-aerchaired hallway of a London club. In four of the
chairs sit men in polar explorers' kit -furs, iced-over goggles, etc. -
reading newspapers. At one chair sits a man in Norfolk jacket and plus
fours. Around his neck he wean a sign saying 'Our Hero'. He is reading
a newspaper but obviously has something else on his mind. Suddenly he
throws the paper down and gets up. He walks over to the porter's desk.
As he does this a polar expedition with four huskies, a sled, and two
explorers pass him. Our Hero goes up to the desk. A whiskery old porter
stands behind it.)
Our Hero: Any news of Betty Bailey's expedition, Hargreaves?
Hargreaves: Er ... um ... er...
Our Hero: (through clenched teeth) Page 9...
Hargreaves: (thumbing over page of script beneath counter)
'The Lost World of Roiurama'.
Our Hero: That's my line.
Hargreaves: Oh, sorry. 'Where were they going, sir'?
Our Hero: The Lost World of Roiurama.
Hargreaves: Yes sir, we've got a telegram.
Our Hero: OH
Hargreaves: (reads it) Reads it. Expedition superb.
Weather excellent. Everything wonderful.
Our Hero: I wonder what's gone wrong.
Hargreaves: For God's sake be careful...
Our Hero: (irritably) Wait a minute... I'm going to go...
after them.
Hargreaves: For God's sake be careful, sir.
(Cut to film of the lost world. Tropical South American vegetation. Our
four explorers from Jungle Restaurant &
Ken Russell's Gardening Club sketches limp along exhaustedly.)
Second Explorer: My God, Betty, we're done for...
Third Explorer: We'll never get out of here... we're completely lost,
lost. Even the natives have gone.
First Explorer: Goodbye Betty, Goodbye Farquarson. Goodbye Brian.
It's been a great expedition...
(Music. Cut to engraving of Crystal Palace.)
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'CRYSTAL PALACE 1851'
(Cut immediately back to jungle.)
First Explorer: Great expedition .. �
Third Explorer: All that'll be left of us will be a map, a compass and a
few feet of film, recording our last moments...
First Explorer: Wait a moment!
Fourth Explorer: What is it?
First Explorer: If we're on film, there must be someone filming us.
Second Explorer: My God, Betty, you're right!
(They all look around, then gradually all notice the camera. They break
out in smiles of relief, come towards the camera and greet the camera
crew.)
Third Explorer: Look! Great to see you!
First Explorer: What a stroke of luck!
Camera Crew: Hello! ...
First Explorer: Wait a minute!
Fourth Explorer: What is it again?
First Explorer: If this is the crew who were filming us . .. who's filming
us now? Look!
(Cut to another shot which indudes the first camera flew and yet another
camera crew with all their equipment. The director is dressed the same as
Yakomoto, the director in 'Erizabeth L', only he is blacked up.)
Director: (African accent) Cut there man! No! No good! How we
going to get feeling of personal alienation of self from society with
this load of Bulldog Drummond crop? When I was doing 'La
Notte' wi' dot Monica Vitti gal she don't gimme none of this
empire building shit, man ...
(Camera pans slightly to reveal a door in jungle. It opens and an inspector enters.)
Inspector: Not so fast, Akarumba! Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Inspector Baboon of Scodand Yard's Special Fraud Film
Director Squad, Jungle Division.
Fourth Explorer: Baboon of the Yard!
Inspector: Shut up! (shoots her) Right, Akarumba! I'm arresting you for
impersonating Signor Michelangelo Antonioni, an Italian film
director who co-scripts all his own films, largely jettisoning
narrative in favour of vague incident and relendess character study
. . . (during this harangue the credits start to roll, music very faint
beneath his words) ... In his first film: 'Cronaca Di Un Areore'
(1950), the couple are brought together by a shared irrational guilt.
'L'Amico' followed in 1955, and 1959 saw the first of Antonioni's
world-famous trilogy, 'L'Aw entura' - an acute study of boredom,
restlessness and the futilities and agonies of purposeless living. In
'L'Eclisse', three years later, this analysis of sentiments is taken up
once again. 'We do not have to know each other to love', says the
heroine, 'and perhaps we do not have to love...' The 'Eclipse' of
the emotions finally casts its shado~n when darkness descends on a
street corner. (the credits end; voice and picture start to fade)...
Signor Antonioni first makes use of colour to underline...
(Fade to black and at to BBC world symbol)
Continuity Voice: (talc) And now on BBC another six minutes of
Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Series 3 Scripts