(An animated item ends with a sign saying 'And now, the Fish Slapping
Dance'.
(Cut to a quayside. John and Michael, dressed in tropical gear and solar
topees. John stands still while Michael dances up and down befire him to
the jolly music of Edward German. Michael holds two tiny fish and from
time to time in the course of the dance he slaps John lightly, across the
cheeks with them. The music ends; Michael stops danring. John produces
a huge great fish and swipes Michael with it. Michael falls off the quay
into the water.)
(ANIMATION: underwater. We see an animated Michael sinking. He is
swallowed by a fish with a swastika on its side.)
Nazi Fish: Welcome aboard, Britisher pig. Quite a little surprise, ja? But
perhaps you would be so kind as to tell us au you know about
certain allied shipping routes, ja? Come on, talk!
(The Nazi fish is swallowed by a fish with an RAF emblem.)
British Fish: Hello, Fritz. Tables seem to have turned, old chap, let's see
how you like a bit of your own medicine, eh? Come on, Fritz, now
tell us - tell us about...
(The British fish is swallowed by a Chinese fish.)
Chinese Fish: Ah, gleetings, capitalist dog; very sorry but must inform
you, you are now prisoner of People's Republic.
Second Voice: Am very sorry, comrade commando, but have just picked
up capitalist ship on ladar scanner.
(The Chinese fish. bites the underside of a large ship. Film of big liner
sinking in storm. General panic and dramatic music.)
Series 3 Scripts