First Voice Over: What other ways are there of recognizing a mason?
(Shot from camera concealed in a tar so we get reactions of passers-by. A
busy city street- i.e. Threadneedle Street. In amongst the throng four city
gents are leaping along with their trousers round their ankles. They are
wearing bowler hats and pinstripes. Another city street or another part of
the same street. Two city gents, with trousers rolled up to the knee,
approach each other and go into the most extraordinary handshake which
involves rolling on the floor etc.)
Second Voice Over: Having once identified a mason immediate steps
must be taken to isolate him from the general public. Having
accomplished that it is now possible to cure him of these
unfortunate masonic tendencies through the use of behavioural
psychotherapy. (we see a cartoon city gent locked into a cell) In this
treatment the patient is rewarded for the correct response and
punished for the wrong one. Let us begin. Would you like to give
up being a mason? Think carefully. Think. Think.
Cartoon City Gent: No.
(A large hammer attacks the city gent.)
Second Voice Over: No?! That's wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
No! No! Bad!...
Series 2 Scripts