They had cut some of their costs by reducing the painters� wages and limiting the overtime, but their financial situation was still precarious. They needed to do something to boost sales, and Martin said he might be able to help them out there.

Martin�s wife, Gabrielle, won the Miss Ireland competition eight years earlier, and she�s been very popular in the town since then. On the evening of the Miss World competition she said to the presenter, �My name is Gabrielle and I come from Ireland. I like flowers. I�m currently in college studying movement and I hope to study law one day. My name is not Deborah or Stalin. Well, it is Stalin, but it�s not Trotsky.� She smiled more than anyone else on that evening, and she was the only contestant to say that she came from Ireland. That sort of national pride normally goes down very well with the judges, so it came as a huge surprise to everyone in Mizzenwood when she only came second. They put it down to politics, and she was welcomed home as a heroine. A parade was held and a goat was pushed over in her honour. At the time there was some doubt as to whether the goat-pushing had been intended to honour Gabrielle or was just an accident in the excitement of her home-coming, but the people decided on the former and the goat was okay.

Martin�s idea was to have Gabrielle make an appearance in Harry and Roy�s shop. She�s still famous because she�s a weathergirl, so she�s on TV almost every day, and Martin was convinced that she�d attract new customers. All he asked in return was a small percentage of the profits from the day and a loan of Harry�s hedge trimmer.

Gabrielle�s appearance in the shop turned out to be a huge success. She stood just inside the door, meeting and greeting the customers, and there was a queue on the street outside. The pace finally slowed down at about six o� clock in the evening.

�I�m exhausted,� Harry said to Barbara. �I�m going to need an early night tonight to get over this.�

�I need an early night too,� Barbara said, �but I don�t think I�ll get it. I�m meeting a friend of mine who just got back from America. She got home a little bit ahead of schedule. She didn�t have a visa so she had to leave. Have you ever been to the States?�

�I was in a state of intoxication once. It was in Prague. I didn�t get thrown out of the country though; just out of the pub.�

�You were in Prague? Really? Did you get to see much of the great architecture, the statues, the stone arches?�

�Stone arches and buildings and stuff aren�t really my cup of tea.�

�Why bother going to Prague if you�ve no interest in the sights?�

�I saw a pig.�

�Seeing a pig doesn�t really compare with seeing a stone arch.�

�I saw Archie Stone.�

�Who�s he?�

�The pig.�

�That�s not quite in the same league as the architecture.�

�I went on an open-top bus ride.�

�Really? Did you enjoy it?�

�No. The pig fell off. He was okay though. Just a little stunned. It was actually kinda funny. I�m sure I have a photo of Archie after he fell off the bus. I must try to find that.�

After Barbara left, Harry went into the living room, where Roy was watching TV. Harry opened a drawer in the sideboard and took out an envelope full of photographs. The search for the photo of Archie Stone was forgotten when Harry saw the first photo in the envelope. He handed it to Roy and said, �There�s me with Magnum PI.�

�You met Magnum? When was this?�

�A few years ago.�

�Is that a moose?�

�Yeah.�

�How come you�ve never told me about this before?�

�Look, I�ll tell you the story, but you�ve got to promise not to tell anyone.�

�Fair enough.�

�A few years ago, Magnum PI was travelling around the country with his pet moose; they were on holiday. He came here for the point-to-point, the horse race, and he entered the moose in it. Now I noticed it was a moose, but I don�t think anyone else noticed. I had a word with Magnum. I said it wasn�t exactly the done thing, entering a moose in a horse race. He gave me a few quid and asked me to keep quiet about it. So the moose ran in the race and I never said a word about it being a moose.�

�And no one noticed that it wasn�t a horse?� Roy said.

�No one. Apart from me. It did look a little bit like a horse, for a moose anyway.� Harry returned to looking through the photos until he found the one he was looking for. He showed it to Roy and said, �Remember Archie?�

�Oh yeah. We had a great time in Prague with the pig. And Peaches as well. She�s great fun.�

�Yeah. I love going on holidays with Peaches.� Peaches is their cousin.

Roy looked closer at the photo. �Who are those other people?�

�I was just about to ask you that. I don�t remember them being there.�

�Neither do I. Do you have any idea who they are?�

�No.�

The bell rang in the shop. �Another customer,� Harry said. �Gabrielle has been great for business.� Harry and Roy both went into the shop, and Harry took the photo of their holiday to Prague with him.

Martin was there � he had come to collect Gabrielle. Harry had left the hedge trimmer in the back porch, so he went out to get it. He left the photo on the counter. Roy picked it up and showed it to Martin. �This is a photo of us on holiday in Prague.�

�That pig looks a bit unsteady,� Martin said.

�Yeah. Harry seems to end up in some dodgy situations with animals.�

�What do you mean?�

�Promise you won�t tell him I told you this?�

�Okay,� Martin said.

�Magnum PI entered his moose in the point-to-point a few years ago and no one noticed it was a moose, apart from Harry, but Magnum gave him a few quid to stay quiet.�

Harry returned to the shop with the hedge trimmer.

�You let Magnum PI enter a moose in the point-to-point?� Martin said, clearly not too happy with what Harry had done.

Harry looked at Roy and said, �I see the art of keeping promises has gone out of fashion.�

�I know exactly what you mean,� Roy said as he looked at Martin.

�What were you thinking?� Martin said.

�That moose looked very like a horse. It was difficult to tell it was a moose at all.�

�The point-to-point community will be outraged,� Martin said.

�Now come on, Martin; there�s no need to tell anyone about this.�

�No need to tell anyone! You accept a bribe to let a moose into a horse race, and there�s no need to tell anyone?�

�Look, you can keep the hedge trimmer if you stay quiet.�

Martin thought about this for a few seconds and said, �Deal.� He shook hands with Harry, took the hedge trimmer, said his goodbyes and left with Gabrielle.

On the following morning, Roy was reading the newspaper and Harry was standing behind the counter as Barbara arrived for work.

��Morning, Barbara,� Harry said.

�Good morning, Harry.�

�Did ye have a good time last night.�

�It was great. She was delighted to be home� It�s a beautiful day today.�

�Yeah. It�s going to be a scorcher. It�s a great day for the charity walk.�

�They couldn�t have picked a better day� I heard about what you did with the moose.�

�What? How? I can�t believe this. Can�t anyone keep a promise? Is it unreasonable to expect people to stick to their word?�

Roy looked up from the paper and said, �Not as unreasonable as seeing Magnum PI entering a moose in the point-to-point and not telling anyone.�

�Really?� Barbara said. �Is that what happened?�

�Yeah. Why, what story did you hear about me and the moose?�

�I heard that Magnum PI was in town and he asked you to look after his moose while he was at the point-to-point, but the moose got loose and got lost in a herd of goats.�

�No, that�s completely untrue. Things always get twisted around when people start gossiping.�

�So, what actually happened was, you let Magnum PI enter his moose in the point-to-point and you didn�t tell anyone?�

�He was a very horse-like moose. He didn�t look anything like a goat anyway; you can never trust gossip. The other horses didn�t seem to mind him at all. And it�s not as if he won the race. Although he did beat a few of the slower horses.�

�You still should have said something,� Barbara said.

�Magnum paid him to keep quiet,� Roy said.

�Ah, I see.�

�There�s nothing wrong with that,� Harry said. �I don�t see how any harm was done.�

�I�m not sure if everyone would agree with that.�

�I don�t care. It�s Magnum who�s really to blame, not me. End of story.� Harry remembered the photo of Prague. �Oh yeah, I found that photo of us with the pig in Prague.� He took the photo from under the counter and handed it to Barbara.

She looked at it and said, �Is that your cousin Peaches in the photo?�

�Yeah. She�s great fun on holidays.�

�Who are those other people?�

�We�ve been trying to figure out that one ourselves. We just can�t think who they might be. Peaches is coming around this afternoon. Maybe she knows.�

Barbara wasn�t too happy about this. �Does she have to come here? Why don�t you go to her place?�

�Why? What have you got against Peaches?�

�Nothing; she�s really nice. It�s just that sometimes she gets things a little mixed up, and then you get things mixed up, and ye both confuse each other more and more. It�s a nightmare when the two of ye get together. Ye�re so alike really.�

�It�s funny you should say that, because Peaches reminds me so much of her mother, my Aunt Sarah, and people always used to say that I was very like her. One of my most vivid memories of when I was young was when my Aunt Sarah read me bedtime stories.�

Harry told Barbara about one time when he was nine years old and Sarah was nineteen. He was tucked up in bed and Sarah was sitting next to the bed reading from a storybook. �Once upon a time, a man called John wanted to find out what was on the other side of the sea. So he bought a huge boat and filled it with bread, and meat, and water, and��

�Did it have water?� Harry interrupted.

�Yes Harry, it had water, and pineapples, and bananas...�

�Did it have bananas?�

�Yes, it had bananas, and��

�Did it have� Sorry, what were you going to say?�

�Bananas and apples��

�Did it��

�Yes it had apples, and pears; yes it had pears, and strawberries, yes it had strawberries and��

�Did it have weasels?�

�No, it didn�t have weasels, it had��

�Did it have Americans?�

�No, it didn�t have��

�Did it have planes?�

�It had oranges and��

�Did��

�Yes and milk, yes milk, and flowers, yes��

�False teeth?�

�No, sugar and��

�Grass, cows, Americans, planes, trees, Elvis, sea, sand��

�No, no, no. Sugar spice tea coffee cake and they all lived happily ever after goodnight Harry go to sleep now there�s a good boy see you in the morning sleep tight.� As Sarah was saying this she put the book on the bedside locker, moved very quickly to the door, turned off the light, left the room and closed the door behind her.

�Elvis?� Harry said.

�You already said Elvis,� Sarah said from outside the door.

Harry remembered this with a smile. �Ha, Elvis. We were so alike.�

One of their regular customers, Mrs. Hennessey, came into the shop.

�Good morning, Mrs. Hennessey,� Harry said.

�Good morning, Harry. It�s a lovely day.�

�It is. We were just saying, they have a great day for the charity walk.�

�They have. I heard about what you did with the moose.� Mrs. Hennessey then saw the photo of the pig on the counter. �And I see you do similar things with pigs.�

�What are you talking about? What story have you heard?�

�I heard that you were taking care of a moose, and your girlfriend at the time dared you to get the moose drunk, and you did, and the moose fell on a cow.�

�No, no. That�s not what happened at all. Magnum PI entered his moose in the point-to-point and no one seemed to notice he was a moose, apart from me. And that�s all that happened.�

�You let Magnum PI enter a moose in the point-to-point? What were you thinking?� Mrs. Hennessey said angrily.

Barbara suddenly thought of something. �Wait a minute; what about the jockey?�

�What about the jockey?� Harry said.

�Why didn�t the jockey notice that he was riding a moose?�

�I don�t know.�

�Who was the jockey?�

�Oh, I don�t know� I think it was Bobby Delaney.�

�Bobby Delaney?� Barbara thought about this for a few seconds. �He�s blind.�

�Oh yeah, I think he is,� Harry said, trying to act innocent.

�You let a blind jockey ride Magnum PI�s moose in the point-to-point, and you didn�t tell anyone?� Mrs. Hennessey said.

�Look, the moose looked remarkably like a horse, and I pleaded with Magnum to take the moose out of the race. I don�t think Bobby was bothered at all by the experience anyway. Although he was a little bit curious about the antlers.�

�How much did Magnum pay you?� Barbara asked.

�Oh now I see why you did it,� Mrs. Hennessey said.

�I needed that money for a very worthy cause at the time. It was just a few hundred quid, and that type of money was nothing to Magnum PI. The man drives a Ferrari and has a pet moose. That was just small change to him.�

�I think I�ll take my business elsewhere,� Mrs. Hennessey said as she left the shop. She wasn�t the only customer who deserted them because of the moose story. Harry couldn�t believe his bad luck. All the good work of the previous day with Gabrielle was being undone.