�They agreed!� Harry said as he returned to the living room after meeting the Amateur Dramatic Society.

Roy asked the obvious question. �Did you bribe them?�

�Yeah.�

�How much?�

�Two thousand euro. Although they�re so committed to the amateur ethos that they wouldn�t take my money. I only bribed them in principle. They still drove a hard bargain though. I�ve sorted out most of the parts, but I might have a few small parts for you two. I�ll be in the lead role.�

�And is everything okay with the spoon?� Barbara said.

�Oh yeah, that�s fine. I just have to write a part for the spoon.�

Harry was able to include the spoon in the play without too much difficulty. He changed a few other things as well, just to update the script. The play was written when Billy Pony was the Minister for Health, and Harry added in another act about the Mayor�s career since then.

Harry was determined to impress Jennifer, and nothing was to be left to chance. It turned out to be a very busy few weeks for him. A lot of work had to be done at the community hall, where the play was to be staged � things like sets, seating, and lighting. The work had been going well, although Roy was a little worried when Harry told him that the Quinn brothers had done the lighting.

�Didn�t I hear their name in connection with the fire at the pub?� Roy said to Harry as they stood in front of the stage at the hall.

�They were never charged with anything there.�

�Tom Brennan told me that they did the wiring in his house and he got electrocuted by a food blender.�

�Yeah, but you know what he�s like with food blenders. He got electrocuted by a food blender at his company�s dinner-dance last year.�

�Remember the time he was rigging the votes in a local election and he got electrocuted by a food blender.�

�Yeah,� Harry said, laughing as he remembered the incident. �Look, I know the Quinn brothers have a bad record with electrocution but they�ve given me a 100% guarantee that absolutely no one�s going to be electrocuted.�

In books, on television and in everyday life, when people who sound a bit dodgy give a 100% guarantee that something will not happen, you can be 100% sure that it will.

As Roy and Harry looked at the stage, a spotlight fell on Roy�s head, nearly knocking him unconscious.

Well, 99% sure anyway.

Harry knelt on the floor next to his brother. �Roy! Are you okay? Roy, say something!�

�Alright Mary Poppins,� Roy said as he felt his head, still a little dazed. �I�m okay.�

�We better go home. You took a fair blow to the head.�

An hour later in the living room, Roy was sitting on the armchair, recovering from his accident. Harry was sitting on the sofa with Barbara, and he was telling her how the play came about. He had only written the play after joining Young Fianna Fá il [Ireland�s biggest political party � pronounced feena fall], thinking it had something to do with bobsledding. He had seen bobsledding on TV during the 1988 Winter Olympics and thought it might be fun, so the very next day he joined Young Fianna Fá il in Mizzenwood. The other members of Young Fianna Fá il had seen something on TV about fun and they thought it had something to do with the Labour Party, so from the start they didn�t always see eye to eye with Harry. Nevertheless, he did his best to fit in. He tried to share in their appreciation Billy Pony, the most prominent member of the party in Mizzenwood, and his play was an attempt to express this appreciation. But after the disaster of the Edinburgh festival he became disillusioned with politics, and with bobsledding too. �It�s all too political,� he�d say. So he left Young Fianna Fá il before he got to do any bobsledding at all.

�Did you have much experience in the theatre before you wrote the play?� Barbara asked him.

�I�d been to the theatre alright. The girl I was going out with at the time talked me into going. It was a play called �Puppies�, but it was just people talking about puppies. It was mostly just two people talking and telling each other that they were thinking exactly the same thing about puppies. You never got to see any puppies at all, which was really annoying for the audience. If it was called �Talking about Puppies� I wouldn�t have minded so much. Or �Waiting for Puppies�. But calling it �Puppies� was completely misleading. I vowed never to write a play like that and never to go to the theatre again. And I haven�t.�

Barbara looked at her watch and said, �It�s time for �He�s not the real father.�� She turned on the TV.

�How can you watch that rubbish?� Harry said to her.

�It�s getting very exciting,� she said, and she explained what was going on. She told him about how Jane had featured a lot in the recent story lines. Her long-lost family had been invented, only for them to be killed moments later in a boating accident, but she hasn�t given up hope of seeing them again. Another story line centred on Jane�s best friend, Bimsie. �Bimsie has started seeing Scumsie again,� Barbara said, �and Fluffy isn�t too happy; he doesn�t like Scumsie. He�s trying to convince Bimsie to stay away from Scumsie.�

�I think Fluffy�s a bit, y� know, Mary Poppins,� Roy said.

Harry watched the first few minutes of the episode but he couldn�t stay to watch the rest; he was too busy with the play. He left to get everything ready for the rehearsal that evening.

Barbara and Roy waited until the end of �He�s not the real father� before going to the community hall. They went through the script at the rehearsal, with Barbara playing Billy�s wife. She read the line: �Billy, I�m not sure the people will accept your plans for the health service.�

Harry, as Billy, responded: �They�ll accept it alright; after I explain where the money�s going, the benefits.�

Barbara: �I�m worried, Billy. I�m afraid that some people in the party might be forming an alliance to overthrow you�� Barbara put her script down and said, �I have my doubts about some of these lines, Harry. I just don�t think they�re dramatic enough.�

�You can�t really judge by just looking at a few lines in isolation. Trust me, it�ll be fine when you see the whole thing with all the costumes and the sets.�

�Fair enough.�

Near the end of the rehearsal, they had an unexpected visitor in the hall. Alex McCarthy arrived to wish Harry luck with the play. He apologised for what had happened at the Edinburgh festival. �It was a complete coincidence,� he said. �I had no idea your play was opening on the same night. I hope there�s no hard feelings.�

�Oh no, we had a great audience that first night,� Harry said. �We had to close because of technical difficulties. With the lights. And the seating. And getting people into the building. Technical difficulties.�

After Alex left, Harry returned to the business of the night. A few of the parts had yet to be cast. He turned to one of the actors and said, �Okay, next up is you, Kevin. You auditioned for the part of the Minister for Education.�

Kevin stood up.

�I was very impressed with your audition, but I�ve decided to cast you as a tree instead.�

�But why?� Kevin said. �I thought I did well.�

�Oh you did. It was a very difficult decision, but in the context of that role I thought your performance was a little, ah� what�s that word I�m looking for, you know, that word? It�s like a very diplomatic way of saying �crap.� So I don�t want you to feel disheartened. You did very well, and, ah� what�s that expression I�m looking for? You know what I mean; it�s meant to suggest, �keep trying and you�ll get there in the end,� but you only ever say it when you�re thinking, �this guy is inadequate and will never make it.� You know the one I�m talking about. So anyway, well done.�

Kevin sat down and Harry turned to Roy.

�Now Roy, you only have one line in the play. You walk onto the stage and say, �There�s a phone call for you, Mr. Pony.��

Roy stood up and said in a dramatic voice, �There�s a phone call for you, Mary Poppins.�

�Perfect. That�s enough for one evening. I�ll see everyone again at the same time on Wednesday. Except for you, Kevin. I�ve decided to get rid of the tree.�

Harry didn�t have much time to spare over the following two weeks but one evening he managed to find the time to visit the �art gallery� (some people used the word �café� to refer to this particular gallery). Harry couldn�t help noticing that, for a small town, there were a surprising number of abstract artists. Some of them only realised they were abstract artists when people failed to recognise the bowl of fruit they had tried to paint in the art classes that Jennifer taught. Lines like �Yes. Yes it is the Manchester United starting eleven� became commonplace amongst the local artists.

Harry, Barbara and Roy stood in front of one of Jennifer�s paintings.

�I love the way she represented the face,� Harry said. �It reminds me of a face.�

�That�s not a face,� Roy said. �It�s a, what-d�you-call-it� Mary Poppins.�

Harry looked closer. �You�re right; it is a tree. It�s a nice tree though. I love the way she uses colour.�

Jennifer walked over to them and said hello.

�Hi Jennifer,� said Harry. �We�re just admiring your painting. I was just saying, you�ve really captured the colour of the tree.�

�Yeah,� Barbara agreed. �We really like the colour.�

�Thanks, I�m glad you like it.�

�It reminds me of where I was when I was running through the fields,� Harry said. �When I was young. Every May with the mayflies and the mayflowers, and the trees and gentle streams. People sniffing wine; kids drinking glue. God looking down on everything. It was a bit like that film of that book of the same name, where June and her sister used to play in the grass around the trees and when they cut down the trees, June complained to the government. The government took her sister and June spent years trying to get her sister back, until finally, just as she was about to give up hope, she lost interest. She works as a florist now.�

�I don�t think I�ve seen that film,� Jennifer said.

�Sorry, I�m just rambling on here.�

�Oh no, I�m delighted my painting has had such an effect on you.�

This was the cue for Harry to ramble on a bit more until his ramblings finally ended in an update on the progress of his play. Jennifer wished him luck with it and said she was really looking forward to seeing it.