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Los Angeles. Sassy, flashy, splashy L.A. Hangout for the movie stars and wanna be�s. Land of beach bunnies, empty suits, sex, lies, and video tapes and, of course, money, money, money. Everything that makes this country great. I love L. A.!
And, since this is Hollywood, let�s start at Grahman�s Chinese Theatre. One of the oldest institutions in Hollywoodland, Grahman�s is this place where movie stars put their hands and feet into cement and pose for all the newspapers. Only the biggest of the big get chosen for this great honor. The up and coming stars only get to roll their faces in mud and get drawn by caricature artists. Oh, yeh, and you can see movies here, too, but no ever does.
Next, Beverly Hills, 90210 or 91201 or 92101 or whatever the hell it is (I can�t remember my own zip code). If you�ve never been to Beverly Hills you probably don�t realize that everything there is made of gold. They even eat and drink gold in Beverly Hills. Rodeo Drive is paved in gold and all the people of Beverly Hills are encrusted in gold. It�s very bright when the sun comes out which is only allowed to happen after 10:00 a.m. (Beverly Hills is a time and weather controlled environment).
Now, let�s lower the top down and head over to the Capitol Records building. Capitol is shaped like a stack of records with a needle on top. 
This architectural theme is completely ineffectual in this day and age as the current population has no idea what a record looks like (and as far as I know there are no plans in the future to condense it down to a stack of cd�s). Frank Sinatra made his best albums at Capitol.
I heard a rumor once that one night while Frank was working at the Sands in Vegas, he punched out a pregnant lady for beating him at poker. Ol� blue eyes was tough but fair.
Finally, there were the Oscar ceremonies. I, of course, was invited and looked fabulous, I must say. Unfortunately, I had barely passed over the red carpet when I was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior (something about my gown...or lack thereof). I did catch a glimpse of Jack Nicholson though. Everyone thinks he always wears those shades because he wants to look cool but the truth is he doesn�t have any eyes. No, it�s true, but YOU CAN�T HANDLE THE TRUTH! And, so it was I found myself escorted to my plane by several gruff police officers and on my way to San Francisco.