Exxon Valdez, a raw and reckless groove machine with no discipline whatsoever but who cares cause it was a great experience while it lasted. It started off as Ming, Herbert and Elenor jamming in the smallest shed imaginable in the darkest town south of the river, Welling, with a drummer known as Earth Worm or Millwall Jim (I prefer Earth Worm I think). Rattling drum skins, thundering fuzz bass and a creaky violin seemed the perfect backdrop for Ming's nursery rhymes or so he thought. They made a great sound, a dark, powerful and unique garage (well very small shed) sound.
A new musical genre was on the way the 'Very Small Shed Scene'. Would it take the NME by storm? in a word 'No'.
Anyway digression can be a very boring thing, the others disagreed with Ming's assessment of the sound and the band got a guitarist. Band members, the bane of any fucking band.
Jon Richards, known to many as 'Boddingtons' but we won't go into that, had been meeting up with the band for beers before, after, and during rehearsals so it all made perfect sense really. The bloke was a slick fingered guitar genius none of the band had ever really imagined would have had any interest in joining a non-muso rabble like them.
Too many minor irritants like day jobs, signing on, feeding cats, liquid lunches etc, got in the way of any real artistic progress at first but the few hours (or half hours) the band managed to get together eventually started to prove very fruitful and enjoyable and were always followed by many a pleasant night supping in Welling's Woodman boozer.
One of the bands first gigs was at the Montague Arms in New Cross. A pub known only in recent years for hosting Peter London a deaf, blind but unfortunately not dumb pub covers geezer. The landlord seemed relieved to have something (anything!) else on for a change. Exxon Valdez set up a show along side a bands Genuflection Cushion and The Land Registry Office, very enjoyable bands containing some lovely people and a great night it was. Peter London came down and sulked at the bar and went home early. Since that night many bands have played the Monty and it's become an established venue in New Cross for all types of acts.
Peter London still plays there at least once a week wooing the odd coach load of German or Scandinavian gimps/tourists. Captive audiences carted in and out whether they like it or not it would seem, some package deal arrangement the pub have with a nearby hotel probably up the road in the serene setting of Elephant & Castle. You should see the faces on some of the kids, they make memories of my family holidays in rainy Minehead and Morcombe seem simply joyous. A few visits and we'll all pick up exactly how to say "Please mum and dad don't make us go to South London again, ever" in fluent Swedish I know I can... Snalla mamma och pappa, tvinga oss inte att aka till sodra London igen - nagonsin! What did I say about digression?
Exxon Valdez also played at the Muswell Hill festival (how Heaven only knows) along side Spandau Ballet singer Tony Hadlee. A roaringly drunken and distorted shambles of a band wasn't exactly what the strolling, sunny-Sunday afternoon families of London's very plush Muswell Hill had expected to see on the same stage as the one time Wembley arena superstar. The band blamed the Dogbolter served in that huge church-like pub on the High Street where they'd spent most of the morning and afternoon before their performance. The day turned out to be a complete drunken haze and somehow Exxon Valdez were not arrested for breach of the peace as microphone stands were hurled into the street and Ming disappeared to sing from underneath the scaffold stage for half the set.
A release on a compilation CD by Gobstopper Records was the other achievement of any note for Exxon Valdez.
The first contribution of abrasive alt' r'n'r didn't quite sit with the rest of the post shoegaze, arty-farty offerings on the CD so they were kindly invited to record a different track which they happily did. A mellower sounding (just slower paced) number called 'Truth Hurts' was recorded. A scathing little ditty all about an appalling soap actress (aren't they all). It sits along side efforts from ex Cardiacs and Sidi Bou Said people and the guy who played odd shaped instruments for Hefner who called himself Spongefinger. Our original offering was the preferred track by the band but was misunderstood by the labels main man (or understood perfectly by his girlfriend -we jest) and viewed as an attack on another band who'd contributed to the CD called Lefthand. It all arose because the chorus had the lines 'Bog standard, left-handed' in it. The claims were of course utter rubbish. Exxon Valdez were very fond of Lefthand especially as they contained an ex-member and the singers brother-in -law!
Sadly Exxon Valdez lasted for just a handful of gigs in the end as work, more beer, plumbing contracts even more beer and football season tickets hindered any solid progress.
No one can remember any definite decision to split this band. Exxon Valdez sank amicably enough lost and without trace somewhere between the Welling, Catford, Deptford triangle casting it's various members strangely adrift in obscure places like Halstead, Lower Clapton and New Zealand, yes New Zealand!
Exxon Valdez should have taken the world by storm but then again shouldn't we all.
Exxon Valdez were:
Elenor Wynder - violin & vocals
John Richards - guitars
Herbert - bass
Millwall Jim - drums
Ming The Mong - vocals
Scribbles for Exxon: click on title to view
Slovenly Masochistic
The Rehabilitation Centre
Songs R Us/Retro Hell
Trojan Horse
How The Truth Hurts
Always Behind Me
Scabby Reptilian Geek
Small Town Floozi
Pointless hindsight musing at the bottom of the page
Favourite Exxon Valdez throw(n) away line: 'With a pocket full of the roughest homegrown you arrive like a beached whale with more blockbuster bollocks from Sylvester Stallone'