Welcome to Troy's Tremendous Travels Part 2 - Milfton in the UK!! I'm here at the airport and Todd and I are waiting to check in, yep, fun! There are 32 people in front of us and this is gonna shit me, the dude in front of us has a F**kin harmonica, out-standing!! Right, we're off to a good start! Firstly my carry on bag weighed 9 kgs, OH NO! NOT 9!! So I took out the gun, knife, my cork screw and nail file (which I use for prison breakouts, not my nails!) and put them in the big bag, now my bag weighs 5 kgs! Yay!! Duty free, yay! Had a look and decided to get it later. We go for a walk and 5 minutes later the dude from the duty free shop finds us. "Are these yours?" Todd left his f**kin passport, boarding pass and packet of columbines in the shop. Almost a very short trip for young Todd! So he wins the first ever inaugural "Goose of the day" award!! The Goose of the Day award is now going to be handed out each day while away to a person who is a goose. Hence the name, Goose of the Day! Anyway, I still woulda gone dude, sorry dude, c ya when I get back! Anyway he got the stuff back and I suppose he can still come, damn, there goes my extra seat.
OK, I just looked up and there is a giant f**kin frog staring at me. It's made of tiles but a frog none the less, ok, I need to go and see what this frog is. Hang on. OK, Ron Smith was the artist of the giant frog called "Touchstone" even funnier is the sign that says "Do Not Touch Stone" Make up your F**kin mind! I'm gonna go touch it and see what happens. Yep, just as I thought, nothing. What if I give it a kiss? Do I get a princess made out of tiles? No, no I don't. It's still a frog. Ok enough about Ron Smith's masterpiece, back soon.
Righty O' We've gone through customs and everywhere I go I get the same thing said "6 days? You're only going for 6 days." So when I tell them I won a trip they're all like "No way, noone wins trips" well you know what? Yes they do!! So we got a couple of bottles of grog, yep, use our allocation now and get sone on the way back, yay for alcomohol!! Made sure the goose had his stuff and now I'm sitting in the smokers lounge enjoying second hand smoke and I'm loving it, it rox!! 20 mins until we board and I'm not yet bored, amazing. These 2 lovely ladies are regailing us with their trip to Thailand story and they're back off home to Melbourne, D'oh! Anyway, I'm gonna sign off now and I'll c ya on the plane. Unless goose over here forgets his stuff, hahahaha.
I'm on the plane now and the rule book still applies. I have a window seat and what goes with that? The wing! Yep, the wing! It's a classic. It's such a nice plane! I have a screen in the back of the seat in front with a map on it, I hope that isn't the only movie, I've seen it. Next to the screen is what they call a coat hook, it's actually more of a coat button, wish I brought a coat to hang on my button! I don't know what the guy is saying! Slow down!! Oh, it's in another language probably Malaysian, not sure. Here we go, English. They wished us a pleasant flight, that's so nice! As always just so I know my life jacket is under my seat or jaket keselamatan di bawah tempet duduk. I have found a new favourite word, it's Duduk! It's actually funny, we just got our first hot towel of the trip! Yay! Our flight attendant's name is Esther Choo, I said Bless you, she didn't get it. So she will now be known as Sneezy. Hang on 2 seconds, we're going to Melbourne as the Map movie tells me. Back to go forward?! Odd, just plain odd. Ok I know I'm woffling, what's new, but they just gave us a menu! Yep, a f**kin menu!! This is freakin' me out, you'll get an update as I get to eat. Yumbo!! I've also noticed that my screen is the only one working, suffer everyone else!! The captain has a name that to pronounce I'd have to rip my tongue out, but good ol' Bernard Lee is our in flight talkin dude, thanx Bern! I'm no longer special, my screen went off, it's back as are they all now.
This is by far the best safety video I have ever seen, production quality is outstanding, just give em the Oscar! Ready to go, as we taxi along this bumpy road, the darkness is lit only by that of the lights on the runway, the humble and soothing purr of the engines and yet again mine is the only screen that works! I think we're gonna drive to Melbourne, not sure. Here we go! Tap the tattoo, hand up and we're airborne, the wing looks amazing! Outside loox like a giant Christmas tree, a giant, flat Christmas tree, it's amazing! Christmas is over, no more lights, either we're up above the clouds or the power went out. I'm going for A) Eddie, lock it in. Our ground speed is 703km/h which is odd cause I swore we just took off?! Ok, I'll be back later.
So, 5 mins into the flight comes the food. We got a chicken Wrap thing, a cake that Todd says is sensational and an apple juice, mmm! I love the fact that I got a fork, spoon and a plastic knife, amuses me, I'm amused. Back to my trivia challenge! I suck so far, just keep getting em wrong. PS: Sweden hosted the 1958 Soccer World Cup, not Denmark!! Geez!! I just sprayed apple juice on myself, exactly! The dream's over! I was up to 8,100 on Dr Mario, chasing that 10,000 high score and they turn my screen off. Not a happy camper, left my tent at home and can't get the fire started, not a happy camper at all, if it's any consolation that cake thing I ate had cocoa on top and I got some on my jeans. Nothing get's chocolate out! NO WAY! We just landed in Melbourne! Holy shit, quickest hour and 10 mins ever. I could've watched Inspector Gadget in that time, Dr Mario is a real doctor, a Dr of making time go fast! Hope he bulk bills!!
So, we got off the plane and are now sitting in the gate for us to board again. It feels like only 2 hrs ago I did this, oh yeah, I did do it 2 hrs ago!! It'll be nice to be on the way and one step closer to London. I'm tired which sux cause I'm trying to stay awake, not working! I wonder if Dr Mario can prescribe me something?! My God, there is nothing exciting about this airport! I can't even make it up!! OK, c ya back on the bird! Back on the bird and yep, it's pretty much like it was 30 mins ago except we have a new crew. Sneezy has left us, that makes me a sad panda. They just gave us head phones!! Chuck em in and Hoobastank is on, cool!! I think I get to watch "Ice Age" or "Spiderman" Kick ass!! I'm about to fall asleep which is annoying but don't fight it, I blame someone waking me up too early this morning! Boo urns!!
Of course I just woke up from a half hour nap and now I'm watching Spiderman! Yay!! They brought us more food, a salmon roll, NO!! some fruit and another apple juice. I bet within 10 minutes I'll be out again, oh he's not dead, but you are! Crazy Goblin!! HOLY CRAP! It's like 4 hrs later, what a good little nap that was! It's still dark outside, dunno what time it is and Yay, here comes some orange juice!! It's 2 hrs and 28 mins til we get to Kuala Lumpur or as it will now always be called "Good Ol' K.L." Really not much to add, brekky just came around, I opted for the omlette, as noodles and BBQ chicken really isn't brekky! It's now only 47 mins to Good Ol' K.L. Yay! I can stretch soon!
