Those Silly Rednecks, they aint no no beatr.
TOP 25 THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY
25. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000,
Alex."
24. "Duct tape won't fix that."
23. "Come to think of it, I'll have a
Heineken."
22. "We don't keep firearms in this
house."
21. "You can't feed that to the
dog."
20. "No kids in the back of the
pickup, it's not safe."
19. "Wrasslin's fake."
18. "I'll have grapefruit instead of
biscuits and gravy."
17. "Who's Richard Petty?"
16. "Give me the small bag of pork
rinds."
15. "Deer heads detract from the
decor."
14. "Spittin' is such a nasty
habit."
13. "Trim the fat off that
steak."
12. "The tires on that truck are too
big."
11. "I'll have the arugula and
radicchio salad."
10. "I've got it all on a floppy
disk."
09. "Would you like your fish poached
or broiled?"
08. "My fiancee' is registered at
Tiffanys."
07. "Checkmate."
06. "She's too old to be wearing that
bikini."
05. "Does the salad bar have bean
sprouts?"
04. "I don't have a favorite college
team."
03. "Those shorts ought to be a little
longer, Darlin'."
02. "Elvis who?"
And the number one thing you will NEVER
hear a Redneck say:
01. "I couldn't find a thing at
Wal-Mart today."
You might be a redneck Jedi if ...
You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with
y'all."
Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud
Light.
At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum
skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so
you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with
fishing/bowling.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to
the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense
electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your
land-speeder.
You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke
shorts.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to
get in through the window.
Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the
Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with
redwood deck.
You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the
cantina scene.
If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father...and your uncle"