Some engineer fun
Comprehending Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where
did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding
my
own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the
bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you
want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn't have fit."
Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word
with
him." [dramatic pause] "Hi George. Say, what's with that
group ahead of
us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I
think
I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist
buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.
Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has
many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run
a
toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."
----- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion
and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
"Yeah," the engineer explained. "If you have a wife and a
mistress, they
will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go
to the lab and get some work done."
Comprehending Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one afternoon when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent
over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again
and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess I will
stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out,
"If
you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do
ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at
it and
put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week
and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said,
"Look
I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog,
now that's cool!