because of the little ones I have had to swallow my loathing and disgust of their father and put them first. That is not easy. I made many mistakes in leaving him, and opened the dorway into the possibility for more guilt on my part and more pain. Then again I can see all that happened as an opportunity for growth not just for me but for everyone, whether we liked it or not.
I left and went to Melbourne. I left him everything in the bank except for $300 which I took with me. And I left him the business I had set up. Since HE left work when the business I began from a seed idea and worked at and built, started making money...that also he talked about as OUR business... *shakes head*. I had started one so I knew I could do it again and since I didn't want to disrupt the children from their schooling ( and everyone else was happy...it was just me that was dying inside...)and all everyone seemed to want was what I provided and that was fiscal.. so..... AFTER leaving him I sent him $1000 a week. I rationalised that was all I was good for. I changed my mind about that three months after leaving. Pandy rang and told me there was no food in the house. I rang a friend who knew what I was sending him, and she took over food. And I reassessed. I left there August 15th and was back in Sydney Dec 6th. He had told the older girls ( both in their final years of High School ) they had to hand over their Child Allowance money to him or find somewhere else to live. Being my children THEY took him at his word and DID just that...sharing a place. Those two have been justifiably angry at me. Amy he used like a slave in caring for the little ones she loved and who loved her while he indulged himself leaving an 8 year old in charge... She climbed out of her bedroom window one night ( before I arrived back in Sydney) and into the local Police Station and told them he was abusing her. She spoke to the Welfare authorities and asked to go to my Mother's. he had no choice. he wetn to my mother and asked her not to accept government payments for Amy as he needed the money to pay bills. My mother thought I had left him with nothing and had given him thousands... so my mother cut me off... she now knows differently but it has taken time....
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