| I don't want to jinx myself by saying that today is better than yesterday. But I feel more in control. Not good, but dealing with it. I almost don't want to admit that because then I'll be twice as disappointed if tomorrow I am climbing the walls of madness again. |
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| I gave myself permission to just fuck around today. Didn't make any demands on myself/ourselves, just said we could do anything we wanted (within reason) that would help us stay in touch with our good feelings instead of thinking about the bad things all day or beating ourselves up for what we "should" be doing. Kind of like a weekend on Wednesday. It has worked well, especially for the kids. They've been out playing solitaire on the puter and reading/venting at our favorite forum and are whining to go to the store for an ice cream but we'll see (hehe). |
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| I haven't done much for myself really, just made a nice sandwich and took forever to eat it instead of forcing it down. I had an extra cup of coffee and I might even have another. I've been listening to Adam Sandler because he is the silliest man on earth and he makes me laugh (although his Fuckin' Wasted song is making me wanna smoke a big fattie, which I can't do because I don't have one and I don't have the money to go get one either. Phooey). I think Lysergia is asleep, and I dunno where Mallory is. |
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| Dana is waiting for me to finish farting around so she can do some research on Pantheism, which I discovered I agree with while surfing last week and felt totally excited about it (me? religion? hmmm....). I've wanted to write about it but it's a bit too heavy for my inarticulate self right now. I can't think clearly enough to explore it further (let alone write it down), so I'll save it for when our collective marbles are back in the bag. I'm actually kind of hoping that Dana will write her opinion too, since she's better at finding holes in logic than I am. |
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| I would like to start the remodelling for Lysergix Productions today, but it involves picking apart more DHTML and I don't know if my brain could take it. Maybe I'll work on the graphics later, a little easier on the noggin. |
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| Got a wicked craving to hear Bjork today. I can't find my Bjork cds, so that means that either someone sold them or they are still packed away with our other stuff. I'll go find some MP3s instead... maybe if I'm lucky someone will have the full Post album. |
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| OK I'm gonna quit now before I think of anything negative to say. Didn't think I could make it through a whole entry without wallowing, did you? Me neither :P. |
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| - Nikki |
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We live on a mountain
Right at the top
There's a beautiful view
From the top of the mountain
Every morning I walk towards the edge
And throw little things off
Like car-parts, bottles and cutlery
Or whatever I find lying around
It's become a habit
A way to start the day
I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you
I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you
It's real early morning
No-one is awake
I'm back at my cliff
Still throwing things off
I listen to the sounds they make
On their way down
I follow with my eyes 'til they crash
Imagine what my body would sound like
Slamming against those rocks
When it lands
Will my eyes
Be closed or open?
I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you
I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you
I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you
Safe up ( here with you )
- Bjork, Hyper-ballad
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