Ok, folks, this is the random quotes page. Sometimes in class I just get so bored that I listen, no I mean REALLY listen to what people are saying and write down what I think is funny. Well, here it is... What I have caught some people saying and/or doing.... Click on the name of the person of whom you wish to see quotage. Read on, you pimple infested readers!!!! *no offense meant...*

My favorite monologue EVER!!!!

The Devil (Toby): Uh, hello. It's nice to see you all here. Now, as the more perceptive of you've probably realized, this is Hell. And I am the Devil, good evening. But you may call me "Toby", if you like. We try to keep things informal here, as well as infernal... that's just a little joke... I tell it every time. Now, you're all here for (reading) Eternity... oooh, which I hardly need to tell you is a heck of a long time. So you'll all get to know each other pretty well by the end. But for now I'm going to have to split you up into groups... will you STOP SCREAMING!? Thank you. Now, murderers? Murderers? (pointing) Over here, please. Thank you. Uh, looters and pillagers over here, thieves, if you could join them, and lawyers, you're in that lot. Uh, fornicators, if you could step forward? My God there are a lot of you. Could I split you up into adulterers and the rest? Male adulterers, if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine in the corner there. The French, are you here? If you'd just like to come down here with the Germans, that'd be lovely... I'm sure you have plenty to talk about. Okay, uhm... Atheists? Atheists? You must be feeling a right bunch of nitwits. Never mind. And finally, Christians. Christians? Ah yes, I'm sorry, I'm afraid the Jews were right. If you could come down here with the others... that would be really kind. Thank you. Okay, right, well are there any questions? Yes? No, I'm afraid we don't have any toilets. If you'd read your Bible you might have seen that it was damnation "without relief", so if you didn't go before you came, then I'm afraid you're not going to enjoy yourself very much... but I believe that's the idea. Okay, well it's over to you, Adolph, and I'll catch you all later at the barbecue... bye!

Dr. Crundwell...
Dr. Crundwell was my Chemistry professor when I was young and stupid (aka first semester freshman). I was a Chem major at the time. This class made me realize one important thing about being a Chemistry major... CHEMISTRY IS HARD!!! But even though the class was hard, it was never boring due to Dr. Crunwell. I switched my major to Geography the next semester.

Dr. Heitner...
Dr. Heitner is a very old and smelly man. It is my hypothesis that he has expired (in more ways than one) long, long ago. This guy lives out of his white van (which , by the way, Jos�'s boss remembers it from like the 1960's) and reeks of formaldihyde (sp?). The dude is a walking skeleton. He once touched Jos�'s shoulder and apparently some of his living dead molecules were transferred into Jose's living cells 'coz Jos� can now walk through walls.

Seany B...
Seany B... now he's a character. Caterer/chef by day, um... I really dunno what he is by night... *shrugs* Sorry Sean! Aaaanyways, this guy was a riot to be in *ugh* Freshman Composition with. Those were some craaaazy times.

Mike B.
Mike was also in the *cough*helluva*cough* English class. We stuck it out together, Mike, Sean and I...and from it spawned a friendship...

{MA}Bri Rock
Ahhh.... Brian... one of my very good friends. The dude is almost as random as I... ALMOST! To him, there is NO, i repeat, NO SUBSTITUTE for Coke and Macs must cease to be! He's a good guy...and the only one I can talk to about The 4th Dimension...

Andy NEW!!! (07-06-04)
Andy is another of my bestest best buds! The dude is currently enjoying the taken life with one of my other best friends Abby. He is REALLY into dragons and RPG. He never thought I'd get around to putting him up here...HAHA!

ME!!!!!! NEW!!! (07-06-04)
Yea... I run this site... what more do you want from me... to find out about me, go back to the Home page

Steve
Steve! The dude is a math whiz... move over John Nash... A Beautiful Mind should be aboot him. Yea Steve's gonna disprove infinity and children of the future will egg his hoose because he made Algebra near impossible. Steve is French Canadian... cool, eh?

Abby NEW!!! (07-14-04)
Abby has been my bestest best friend since the 2nd grade. Words can not express how much she means to me...wait... those were words weren't they? Well, I guess words CAN express how I feel...Yayness!

David
David is one of the most arrogant people I know... but also one of the sweetest. He has a heart of gold... and sometimes I think is mind is made of something else too...maybe plastic...

Dr. Feder
Dr. Feder is an archaeologist...Dr. Feder was my archaeology professor this past semester. Dr. Feder looks like what happens when a love story is written about when Richard Simmons falls in love with one of Wily Wonka's Oompa Loompas. It's funny and he's a funny guy. He's always complaining about something whether or not it's the tick in his eye (yes a real insect tick) or the fact that he doesn't know how his cell phone works. It was an interesting class... Here's to Dr. Feder!

Miscellaneous Folk... NEW!!! (07-06-04) People are funny... I like funny people... These people are especially funny...

The Convos!!! NEW!!! (07-06-04) Most of this hilarity comes from our conversations. Yea... I talk to people and funny things are said...

Group Jokes
"MAOW!!!" Mary, Andy and Abby

Back to the incessant randomness
OR, by clicking on the creepy hamster, you can enter the portal to *dun dun dun...* THE 4TH DIMENSION!!! At long last you can find out the ultimate question of our existence... WHY?!?!?!?!