Dr. Heitner
"In one head and out the other"
"The Chalk Theif! [to Sean] You should be shot and hung!"
"Authors for Authority"
"FRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG"
"Twisting is crazy, man"
"If it's not acceptable, make it acceptable"
"Remember, you're not talking when I'm talking...(beat)Ok, you can talk now"
"The funct. of punct."
"Tom, Dick, Harry and Jane are in the Rock Band..."
"Oh, you've got the right to die in my class... you just have to pay attention."
"Does someone want to read me?"
"We have two hemisheres in our brains... (beat) What? You only have one?"
"Comma splice"
*deadpan* "She wept, she cried, she damn near died"
"Betsy, don't cooperate with her or I'll pounce on you just as much, er, almost as much"
*this is not a typo* "When hunting men, develop hearty appetites"
"When hunting, men feel a desire to engorge"
"Jousting with pens... you should joust with minds!"
"There's no doubt about it: he is the worst lover since Attila the Hun."
"I remember one pleasant incident: my stepmother falling down the stepladder."
"The ladies who wore gownless evening straps evoked much comment."
"Oh yeah, I'll send my stormtroopers out on you..."
"Her sister who always skied in a leopard skin was busy tying knots in her brother's longjohns."
The parody of our English class: "Beuller? Beuller? Beuller...."
