the executives
the venues
the week ahead
the vodka shower
the gino
the aftermath
the guestbook
the sponsors
this is a pic of some of the boys having breakfast at l'avenue, one of our more favored eateries
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| WHAT IT ALL MEANS | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| the aftermath... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| the skinny the executives the venues the week ahead the vodka shower the gino the aftermath the guestbook |
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| what? you thought it was going to be all sunshine and lollipops? oh, contraire mon frere, partying like a rockstar carries with it a hefty price tag consisting of some pretty gruesome side effects. for starters, if you're really a rockstar you live in hotels and hotels only, and of course, in true rockstar fashion, you trash the shit out of them. now, dont get me wrong, I love the act of throwing that crappy tv out of the 9th story window of the hojo just as much as the next guy, but when you got collection agencies tracking you down the following week, you suddenly get the feeling that the juice tiger infomercial wasn't annoying enough to really warrant the tossing of the tv. but hey, if they wanted the tv to stay in the room, they should of bolted it down, right? right. let's move on. next, there's the physical pain. now Im not talking about that lil headache that you pop a couple of advils for the following morning to deal with, that you lightweights out there have to contend with, Im talking real pain. like driving a dull drill bit through your fucking skull while acid is being poured in your eyes and your teeth are getting individually yanked out with rusty pliers. I mean, look at snols here. he's | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| **COMING SOON** | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| the ladies the sponsors |
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| photos courtesy of: dean, sammy h, r. markowitz, and ct the sc | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| a tough fucking guy, but looking at this pic you would think he got sprayed in the face with mace and then tossed down a flight of stairs. he's so dehydrated he cant even open his right eye, let alone form any sort of coherent thought. and this is just whatwe can observe on the outside, imagine what he's going through on the inside. like a true rockstar, when put partying, snols smokes more cigarettes than gino in a high stakes card game. and when you're chasing each butt with a shot of vodka, they taste as sweet as honey, but let me tell you, and this is from experience, while all that smoking is like heaven during the party, the following morning you are left with the sensation of glass shards dancing about your esophagus with every breath you take. in case you haven't got it yet, let me reiterate; just like pimpin, being a rockstar aint easy. but do you think snols' gonna bitch about it, no, he's gonna take it off the chin like a man and deal with it. whining is for lil bitches, we dont tolerate that here, so if you cant take the heat, go back to your bring your own wine dinner partys and call us up when your a man. but if you got what it takes, if you can roll with the terrifying lows that ineveitably accompnay all of those glorious highs, then | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| this site is edited by ct the sc |
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| read on. for we have solutions. now, Im not saying these are cure all remedies, I mean, if you're not used to the rockstar lifestyle, the first little while you are going to feel like shit, but with practice, dedication and adhering strictly to these post party practices, that feeling like shit will eventually become what you consider to feel normal, and you'll be able to live with that eight days a week. but be forewarned, these tips are only to help you cope with the interior effects of the rockstar lifestyle, although we do have a crack team of scientists working on it, as of now we have no cure for the accelerated aging that results from excessive partying. yup, thats right, partying like a rockstar causes you to age appoxiamately three times faster than a normal human. dont believe me? did you see that picture of gino (if not click here), well he's only seventeen! the guy looks like he's thirty-five. nevermind that though, it's a small price to pay for living in the fast lane. aight, on to the techniques. first, you got to get some sleep. now although I dont always stick to this mantra, some of the other executives (particularly snols), live by it. chances are you're not going to be able to get your clothes off, but you should always aim for at least the removal of your shoes. to the | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| right here is a pic of snols demonstrating this technique with perfect form. he's sticking to the essentials. removing clothes, getting under the covers, laying the right way on the bed, all fluff. he found a the bed, removed his shoes, and crashed. I give him an a plus. now snols was | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| fortunate enough to be in the vicintity of his own bed when he blacked out, but that is purely luck my friends. rockstars must not be picky, you must roll with the punches. any soft surface, in any location, will serve your purposes just fine. besides, the act of passing out someplace other than your own has that added element of excitement of waking up the next afternoon and spending those first few minutes wondering where the hell you are. here we have some random girl demonstrating this point exactly. this pic was taken in snols and schaff's living room, but the funny thins is neither of them have the slightest idea who she is. but look at what she accomlished, she found perfectly suitable sleeping accomadations, and passed out, providing her with the neccesary rest to get up the next day and do it all again. and the topper is, the boys got up the next day and the only trace left of this girl was an empty cereal bowl on the floor. I say kudos to you ramndom girl, kudos indeed! now the second stage of the recovery stage is just as important as the first, so it's not to be overlooked. now that you have got the rest you need to tackle a new day, you need to refuel to provide you with the neccessary energy to do so. that's right my friends, Im talking about breakfast. nevermind the | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| scientific proof that the greasiness of bacon and eggs makes you feel better post binge drinking, for there is just something uplifting to the mind, body and soul about having a big tittied french girl serve you breakfast at three in the afternoon. now living in mtl, we are blessed, for | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| we have numerous establishments that are whipping up delectable breaky goodies at all hours of the day, everyday. but if you live in toronto, the story is not the same, the breakfast there sucks, especially that restaurant the senator on shutter st., but anyway, this step in the recovery process is critical, without it there's no way you'll be able to be rockstar even 2 days in a row, let alone 50 or 60, so do what you got, just get some grub, and you just may live to party another day! this is a pic of some of the boys having breakfast at l'avenue, one of our more favored eateries |
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