Lord_Artic i_luv_my_beamer caprice609 imcharlottesometimes Daius_Stryker Peg3 KJWinks Darling_Aussie Bluejeans_007 invisible_dragon Mattfishin jaz_musician Quinn know_where scot420 sorsha_iz_stoned rouge_gypsy dimples1234 silicon_mage wikkid_sita Fortune_Smiles Gedwin |
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| December Edition |
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| Mia Stinkers |
| FRUITCAKE RECIPE You'll need the following: 1 C water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 C sugar 1 C brown sugar 4 large eggs Lemon juice 2 C dried fruit Nuts 1 tsp. salt 1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one tablespoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway??!! ~~~Author Unknown |
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| SANTA'S KEY AND POEM You'll need the following: Old key (preferably larger than normal size) Gold Spray Paint Red Ribbon Spray paint key and hang it by a red ribbon and bow. Tell the child that this is Santa's special key to get into houses that don't have fireplaces. Attach the following Poem: Dear Santa, We don't have a chimney For you to come through And if you miss our house I don't know what I'd do. Mom says that you work magic... By using any kind of key. If we hang it just outside In a place you're bound to see. So I'm placing a big key Right beside our door. Will say my prayers And jump into bed. And won't worry anymore!!! |
everything you need to know about...... CHAT SOCKS!. something from stormy_is_she...... DRAMA, RANTINGS, etc. just in time for Christmas..... X-Mas RECIPES give yourself a little giggle...... LAUGHS from yours truly........ THIS SPACE AVAILABLE from our own chatters.... POETRY the ever popular...... CHAT CHARTER |
| In this issue....... |
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| Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
CHORUS: Grandma got run over by a reindeer Walking home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me an' Grandpa, we believe. She'd been drinking too much eggnog, And we begged her not to go. But she forgot her medication, And she staggered out the door into the snow. When we found her Christmas morning, At the scene of the attack She had hoof prints on her forehead, And incriminating Claus marks on her back. CHORUS Now we're all so proud of Grandpa, He's been taking this so well. See him in there watching football, Drinking beer and playing cards with cousin Mel. It's not Christmas without Grandma, All the family's dressed in black. And we just can't help but wonder Should we open up her gifts or send them back? SEND THEM BACK!!! CHORUS Now the goose is on the table And the pudding made of fig (ahhhhh!) And the blue and silver candles, That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig. I've warned all my friends and neighbours, Better watch out for yourselves. They should never give a license, To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves. Sing it, Grandpa! CHORUS Grandma Rules A slightly silly parody... CHORUS: Grandma got run over by a reindeer. Santa Claus was then locked up in jail. Grandma stood here yelling for a lynching, And elves were out there trying to raise bail. It was not a pretty picture, Her pants punctured by one horn. Grandma tends to be vindictive And old Prancer may be sorry he was born. Artificial respiration!! Passed the hat to patch her up. Santa gave Grandma a present, Her teeth should look real nice in that new cup. CHORUS Oh! The word sure moved like wildfire. People came from far and wide. Soon a TV poll was taken And everyone was on the fat guy's side. Children gathered on the sidewalk Pleading for the guy in red. "If old Santa stays inside there, All the children in this town won't go to bed." CHORUS Now the sheriff will release him. We'll all cheer for that red coat. One thing we all know for certain: The poor sheriff has just lost old Grandma's vote. Next year, Santa, pay attention, As this fine you now must pay. Here's the rule you must remember. "Our Grandmas always have the right of way." CHORUS Oh, Grandma got run over by a reindeer Santa Claus was then locked up in jail. Santa now is out there with your presents And so you can stop sending all that mail!! |
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| Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Luvs_2_wrench (and Scooter)------>>> |
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