I don�t own LotR. What I wouldn�t give to say I did! But I don�t, so don�t sue me. Unless you want 36 cents, which is all I have right now.
It took several days for Celeborn�s dancing fit to leave the minds of those in the palace of Minas Tirith. Mostly because it was the funniest thing anyone had ever seen, but part of the reason was that Merry and Pippin would strike up the dance whenever they were bored, or at a loss for something to say, which was often. The strange, drooling rain continued whenever one of the elves, or another hot LotR character passed by the narrator�s line of sight. And the narrator can see far.
�Where are Haldir and my husband?� Galadriel asked. She had a HUGE bruise on her head from when she had hit herself with the sheath. And with her good hearing, the servants had to control themselves until they could get 100 yards away from her so they could softly giggle at the big black mark on her pale skin. But they laughed even harder at Arwen, who not only had a bruise, but also had a gash on her head from hitting the cement wall with her head.
�Ladies Arwen and Galadriel, Haldir wishes to speak with you.� Kalensthar said, trying VERY hard to suppress a laugh. He bowed Haldir in, and now it was Arwen and Galadriel�s turn to suppress laughter. Haldir was covered in tiny black bruises, giving him a strange, polka-dotted appearance. His right forefinger was in a splint.
�He poked me!: Haldir shouted. He was absolutely furious, and he winced in pain with every move. He rounded on Galadriel, raised his arm with a yelp of pain, and pointed his splinted finger at her. �Your stupid, idiotic husband poked me!�
Arwen gave her grandmother a curious look. Galadriel just shook her head, half smirking, and asked, �What did you do to deserve it this time, Haldir?�
�Well,� Haldir said, looking embarrassed. He launched into his hilarious, I mean, humiliating, story.
~*HALDIR FLASHBACK MODE*~
The morning sunlight was bright, and Haldir was walking in the courtyard outside the palace. It wasn�t his fault, as he constantly reminded Arwen and Galadriel, that he happened to run into Celeborn.
�I thought it was you, Sir.� Haldir said, bowing.
�Hi, Haldir!� Celeborn said cheerfully. �Have you seen the Garbleypooh I�ve been chasing?�
�Um� considering that I have no clue what a Garbleypooh is, no.� Haldir suppressed a laugh.
�He�s short, and fat, and has long, red hair!� Celeborn said.
�Sir, that�s not a Garbleypooh, that�s a Gimli.� Haldir chuckled. �Stupid Dwarf. I still have to kill him, I don�t know why, but I�m sure he�s done something to deserve it.� He added to himself.
�You didn�t let me finish!� Celeborn screamed, clearly upset. �He�s got long, red hair, and sparkly wings, and purple skin with pink spots!�
�You know, Celeborn, I think you lose IQ points whenever you exhale.� Haldir said, shaking his head.
�Really? COOL!!� Celeborn took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. �Look! There they are! Bye bye, little IQ points! See ya later!�
�What an idiot.� Haldir said.
�Hey! Don�t call me stupid!� Celeborn reached over and touched Haldir�s arm lightly with his finger.
�OWWW!� Both elves screamed, since their fragile skin was not meant for poking, or for being poked..
Without thinking, Haldir poked Celeborn back. Soon the two were writhing on the ground in pain, but they continued their poking war.
�ARGH! POKE!� Haldir shouted, giving Celeborn one last jab in the arm (Thus explains the splint.) Bruises covered both of them, and shortly afterward, both passed out form the pain.
~* END HALDIR FLASHBACK MODE*~
�You two� have got� to be the�biggest idiots� EVER!� Galadriel shrieked though fits of laughter and gasps for breath.
�Um.. Grandma Galadriel?� Eldarion said. �I think I can see your IQ points flying away, too!�
�I wouldn�t say that if I were you.� Haldir warned.
�Why?�
�Eldarion, what did you just say?� Galadriel said, immediately losing all traces of her prior laughter.
�Nothing.� Eldarion stated defiantly.
�Come here. I didn�t quite hear you.� Galadriel said sweetly.
�Don�t!� Haldir hissed. �Her hearing�s fine! She just wants an excuse to-�
Eldarion walked over to his great=grandmother before Haldir could finish.
�Look into my eyes and tell me what you said.� Galadriel said seriously.
He tore his eyes away from Galadriel�s, and in his tearful fear, he lost his balance and tripped over the step that raised the thrones off the ground. He was shaking with terror, but, seeing as how one of his sisters was watching, he tried to look as if he merely tripped. It didn�t work, because his sister was laughing her head off at her little brother�s foolishness.
�Shut up!� Eldarion cried. His sister stopped laughing for a moment, stared at her brother, saw him in his frightened, embarrassed fury, and began to laugh anew, tears freely falling onto the white marble of the hall.
�Now Eldarion, will you tell me what you said?� Galadriel asked sweetly.
�I said�� Eldarion began. Galadriel leaned forward slightly in expectation. �I said that I could see your IQ points floating away.� He said, regaining a bit of his much-depleted dignity.
�Did you, now?� Galadriel asked in her far-too-sweet, I�d-kill-you-if-you-weren�t-my-great-grandson voice.
�Y-Yes.� Eldarion said, inching closer to the door.
�Really? You can see them? Where are they going? I�ve always wondered, and I�ve chased after them, but they seem to move faster when I chase them!� Her voice was now little girlish, and her eyes were wide with wonder. She took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. She stuck her finger in the air and traced an invisible path. �Ooh, that�s a number one! I�ve never seen one of those before! And there�s a zero! And a negative one! Hey! Now they�re letters! They say �She just doesn�t get it, does she?� Hmm. I wonder what that means?�
�Celeborn says he saw a negative fifty thousand last week.� Haldir said with a laugh. �I�m head servant to lunatics.�
�It doesn�t run in the family, does it, Mom? Grandma and Grandpa�s insanity?� Asked Eldarion�s sister, who was trying to stop her laughter before she died due to lack of oxygen.
�It does, unfortunately. You should have seen your grandmother.� Arwen said. �She was the same way. But I think Daddy�s lack of inherited insanity will save us.�
�But then, what about Uncle Elrohir and Uncle Elledan?� Eldarion asked.
�What about us?� Arwen�s older twin brothers asked.
As if on cue, Boromir came into the room, saw Galadriel, screamed, made eye contact for a moment, and burst into tears. �Curse you! Vile Elf Witch!� He shouted through sobs.
�He�s not my uncle.� Elboron, who had come to get Eldarion so the two could hang out, said as he passed the chamber. �He�s my father�s brother, but that doesn�t make him my uncle.�
�Yes, it does!� Sang Pippin, who had come skidding into the hall. He held a white feather with a blackened tip in his hand.
�Hehe. Gotta go!� Pippin said, running off.
�Not again.� Arwen sighed.
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