Lothlorien: The Tree City Version 3.0: Grey Skies

BOO!! I�m back, and I�m more hyper than ever!!! Bwahahahahahaha!!! Okay, anyway, this next chapter will relate to what my life is like now in the middle of February, since we have snow piles that are taller than Gandalf, including his hat. I�m try to make this chapter funny, but I�m not sure how it will turn out, so bear with me if it�s not as funny as the first 2 chapters.

I don�t own Lord of the Rings, so don�t sue me. You�ll get maybe 20 cents out of me.

I dedicate this chapter to Elijah Girl A.K.A. Tinuviel, and to my dear friends Stephanie, Candi, Megan, and Ben. You guys rule, and you always know who will get the last laugh.

Chapter 3: Candy, Cleaning, and a Litter Box.

�Gross!� Ar5wen frowned.

�Disgusting!!� Eowyn blanched.

�Unsanitary!!� Rosie cried. �Samwise, get it out of here!�

�It�s not my job, I�m not doing it. Make Merry do it.� Sam protested.

�No way! It�s Pippin�s, not mine!� Merry backed away from the disgusting thing as fast as is hobbit legs would carry him.

�It�s not mine.� Pippin shook his head, trying not to look at it. �Talk to my son. It�s Faramir I�s responsibility.�

�I�ll do it.� Said the little hobbit who appeared behind Pippin. Faramir I stepped out from behind his father, grabbed a plastic bag and a litter scoop, and began putting the cat poop into the bag. When he was finished, he took the bag of cat waste outside and threw it in the garbage. �You guys are wimps. It�s not that bad.�

�Faramir, wash your hands.� Diamond appeared in the corner of the basement where the cat box was located. �I don�t want you getting anything from touching cat poop.�

�Aww, Mom!! I didn�t touch it, I just scooped it up with the scoop.�

�I don�t care. Wash you hands, young man.�

�I�m not a young man, Mom. I�m a young hobbit. That is, unless I changed species overnight.�

�Faramir, don�t talk back to your mother.� Pippin said, giving his son a stern look. Diamond smiled at Pippin, knowing he had the situation under control. She walked away, as did everyone else. Pippin looked around to make sure no one was watching before turning to his son again. �Sorry, Kid. You know how your mom gets if she doesn�t get her way. If it were up to me, your hands would have a 3-inch crust of dirt and grime all over them. But then again, your mother is in control, and not just in control of you, but me too. Now, here�s 10 dollars. Go buy some candy, and make sure you get some for me, okay?�

�It�s a deal, Daddy-O.� Faramir said, smiling at his father. �Back in a few.� The young hobbit ran off, stashing the money in his pocket before Diamond saw it. He went to the nearest candy store, bought nearly 10 dollars worth of food, and returned, careful not to let his mother see the bag of sweets. Faramir I and Pippin ate candy until they were sick, and left the rest for a rainy day. When Merry found out, he was furious, mostly because they didn�t leave enough for him to be satisfied.

I can�t believe that you wouldn�t even think about telling me!� Merry cried. �I mean, come on,. Pippin. It was a candy escapade! Pip, we always eat candy together! That�s you and me, not you and your son!�

�well, you were the one helping Eomer with�whatever it was that Eomer was doing! You wanted to be a warrior of Rohan, and you were busy with your duties!!� Pippin protested in his defense.

�But you could have at least told me! I�m sure Lord Eomer would have understood! And anyway, weren�t you supposed to be working, too?�

�Merry, there are plenty of other people to guard the city! And besides, even if there weren�t, we haven�t had an invasion since the War of the Ring ended.� Pippin smiled sweetly, as if hoping that would get him off the hook.

�Pippin, since then, there have been 3 attempted invasions. And there is no one guarding the city! All of the other guards are in Isengard going through the rest of Saruman�s stuff and rebuilding the city with Treebeard and the Elves!!� Merry was nearly screaming now at the stupidity of his best friend. �You�re supposed to be guarding the city, and you�re not doing it! You�re eating candy all night with your son instead! It�s unforgivable!! Gondor is worried about its safety, and you�re worried about the number of Pixi Stix you have left!�

�Fine, Merry.� Pippin sighed. �Next time I skip guard duty and have an eating contest, I�ll face off against you. Faramir I can judge.�

�Good. Now that can be forgiven.�

The next day, after Pippin�s reluctant return to guard duty, Arwen was cleaning the palace. She sang a sweet Elvish tune as she dusted and scrubbed every surface of the palace herself.

�Um�Mom? Don�t we have servants to do that?� Asked Eldrion as he eyed his mother curiously.

�Oh, yeah,. I forgot about them.� Arwen immediately dropped the broom she was holding, dashed to her throne, and began commanding the servants and maids to clean every inch of the city thoroughly and quickly. �And for crying out loud, get my husband back to his senses! Oh, and Legolas, too. But mostly Aragorn!!�

�yes, Milady.� Said a male servant. �However, if the King Elessar cannot be brought around, perhaps the Queen will be satisfied with, um�different company?�

Arwen gave the boy a disgusted look. �Kalensthar, I certainly hope that you�re not suggesting I go out with you. After all, I am happily married, a queen, and beautiful. Whereas you are single, a servant, a virgin, and an ugly one at that!�

Kalensthar�s face fell, and he walked away, mumbling a little after he was out of Arwen�s earshot. �Why are we cleaning the stupid palace anyway? I think we should lock the Elven weirdo up with her husband! I don�t even know why I�m here. I�m from Rohan!�

�Mom, why are we cleaning?� Eldrion, who had heard the first part of Kalensthar�s mumbling, asked.

�We�ll be having some visitors soon.� Arwen explained. �Your great-grandparents are coming from Lothlorien.�

�oh, no!!� Eldrion moaned. �Not Grandma Galadriel!! She crazy! Every time I see her, she pinches my cheeks and embarrasses me in front of my friends! And Grandpa Celeborn is too serious! I�ve never seen him smile! Okay, there was that one time when I accidentally stabbed Haldir in the foot with Dad�s sword, but that was a laugh, not a smile!�

�Eldrion, your great-grandparents aren�t that bad. Remember, I grew up in Lorien with them. Except for when I was visiting your grandfather in Rivendell, of course.� Arwen said, smiling as she reminisced. �And you have to admit, the sword incident was funny. Even Haldir was laughing, as soon as he woke up in the hospital.�

�Mom, that�s not why he was laughing. His laugh was part morphine and part concussion.� Eldrion explained. �And anyway, Mom, I�d love to stay, only I promised Merry that I�d help him with his homework.�

�Why is Merry doing homework? I mean, I know that he�s a little slow, but I know he graduated.�

�Little Merry, Mom. As in Sam�s son.�

�Oh, him.� Arwen giggled innocently. �I forgot about him.�

�You seem to be doing that a lot these days.� Eldrion muttered as he walked away, followed by servants who were going to clean his room for him.

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Okay, Tinuviel, are you happy? I finished the chapter, and no, you can�t write chapter 4! Write your own fanfic!! Okay, I�ve planned out a few more things that are still to come in the story, so make sure you wait PATIENTLY (Ahem!! That means you, Tinuviel!!) for the next chapter. I hope you all liked this one, because even though it took me awhile to write it, it turned out well. Until next time, Aa' menle nauva calen ar' ta hwesta e' ale'quenle (May thy paths be green and the breeze on thy back.) Bye!