Last time we left our "heroes", they were on their way to Middle-earth on... wait a minute... what's that? Is it a cat dying?
"We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine! We all live in a yellow submarine!" Gandalf and Saruman sang as they were playing poker and smoking...um... novermind.
"It kind of loses its appeal after the 20th time, don't you think?" Saruman asked.
"What? The pot or the song?" asked Gandalf in return.
"No, I could never, ever get tired of pot! I meant the song, stupid!!"
"oh."
"Full house! Ha!! Now you owe me more mula!!"
"I hate poker! I'm only 11 for Go'ds sake!!"
"I forgot about that. The beard is misleading, Gandalf."
"Were you blond before everything went grey?"
"How'd you know?"
? "I have my sources."
At that moment, the butler/room designer came in to greet them.
"Your dinner...Sirs." He said, pausing and regrouping after seeing a bearded 11-year-old playing poker and smoking pot.
"Thanks, man! Oops... you're an elf. A man elf...designer...crap...um, what's your name?" Said Gandalf, confused and a little scared.
"Gwen. I know, it scares me too, don't feel bad."
"That's not all I'm afraid of." Gandalf said, shinking away from the elf.
"What are you so afraid of?"
"I plead the 5th."
"Thank you, Gwen, that's enough. Dinner looks...lovely. Lembas again? It's just like crappy human airline food!" Shouted Saruman at the rather frightening elven designer.
"Yes, sir. I'm off to see a fortune teller."
At that moment, Gwen threw a colorful candy at Gandalf, saying "welcome 11-year-old bearded wizard." on the wrapper. The candy was... a mini Tootsie Pop. ((Dun dun dun.))
"Did he do something to you when you first came here? And when was the last time he bathed?" Gandalf asked.
"Easy to believe... hey!! Now I have a full house! but it's hard to believe he's an elf. A lack of hygene is ok for men, but not for elves." When Gandalf was in his room doing the happy dance, there was a really good evil laugh (Believe me, I KNOW my evil laughs) coming from the hallway next to the room.
"Hahaha!!! Gandalf doesn't know what the chocolate inside the Tootsie Pop has in it! I saw his future! He will NOT peplace me as the top interior decorator in Middle-earth!!"
The voice was Gwen's, who had gone to a fortune teller earlier that day. Apparently he forgot he had the gift of foresight. Now we will return to Gandalf's happy dance.
"lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!!" Sang Gandalf, flinging his arms high into the air.
"Yes, but they don't know that."
"Who's 'they'? And I'm sorry, but they do know."
"The crazy people who have nothing better to do than read this fanfic."
"Oh. Boy, was I out of the loop!" Saruman said.
"There's a narrator, too!"
"I knew that! We can all hear him over an intercom." At this moments, Saruman pointed to the speaker n the back of the room. "Don't you remember the SPLAT episode in chapter 3?"
"Oh, yeah. Hey, can you tell Gwen out there to tone down the evil plotting? I can't hear myself think."
"Um... Gandalf? You don't think."
"Thanks for reminding me! I'll eat my Tootsie Pop now."
"Thanks for sahring it with the 'They' people."
"It's part of the storyline. They have to hear it."
"Oh. whatever."
At that very moment, Gwen came back into the room.
"ha! Now all your design abilities are gone and you will be clothed in...grey! The dullest color in the universe! Ha! I'm an EVIL ELF!"
"He was already in grey to begin with, and he has no sense of design whatsoever. He smoke pot for crying out loud!!"
"Um... Oops. But trhe fortune teller said..."
"I think it's what she FORGOT to say that matters."
"What'd she forget to say?"
"That you are one of the elves THAT CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE!"
"Really? Hey! I can see your downfall!! Ha I win!" However, at that moment, as Gwen was jumping for joy, he hit his head on the ceiling and was knocked out long enough to be put into a straight jacket. he also got a visit from Dr. Straight Jacket himself. And he got to eat the little yellow and little blue pills mixed.
"Phew. I thought that would never be over. I was running out of popcorn. I think people will pay to see that again!" Said Gandalf, still in "happy mode" from the tainted Tootsie Pop.
"o...kay."
"By the way. I like you but you stink.. wait, no... oh yeah. Nevermind, that's just me."
"What was in that Tootsie Pop?"
"You'r next for the straight jacket, Kid."
Will Gwen ever wake up? Will Gandalf survive the effects of the Mini Tootsie Pop? Will I ever get a raise for narrating such a STUPID story?? (I'd better!) Tune into chapter 5 to find out!!
we do not own lord of the rings so sue us, see above statement of 35.36 cents that we own. have fun.
