The reason why I started this web site is because I'm tired and worn out. My only real complaint in my life is my weight, and I just can't take it anymore. It's 2 a.m. on the night of my 15-year high school reunion (we didn't have a 10 year). I should be there, and I'm not. I have gained 130 pounds since high school, and I'm just too embarassed to go. For the last several months I have planned (in my mind) to attend being thin and gorgeous -- ya know, the hottest girl in the room. I have envisioned being thin and beautiful, but I did not achieve my goal. I just made a huge batch of homeade cookies, and I feel too disgusted to eat them. I haven't touched a one, and that's good. My goal was to cry over spilled cookie crumbs and kick myself, but I decided that was not going to happen. I wanted to do something positive -- I was just too sad to keep going, so I started writing this page. I am glad I did.
I've battled my weight all my life, but it's just been those pesky 10 or fifteen pounds. I gained 130 pounds over college, though, and I have tried unsuccessfully to lose it the past 5 years. Each year goes by, and I keep thinking this will be the year, but it never is. I should mention that weight loss was easier to handle in my high school and college years. I had an eating disorder I dealt with for 10 years, and I know it was a horrible thing to live with. I won't ever resort to my former methods, no matter how desperate I get. I'm proud of myself for not falling back to my former methods, and I'm ready to lose the weight in a positive and healthy way. God has given me a beautiful, blessed and happy life. I don't want to waste it being sad, unhealthy or depressed.
I gained my extra weight very quickly. I can't blame anyone of anything for it. I simply ate too much, didn't exercise, and was no longer using unhealthy methods (eating disorder patterns) to reduce my weight. I can honestly say 130 pounds crept up on me. I don't know if anyone will believe that, but it is the truth. Yeah, I noticed I was gaining the weight, but I always just figured I start a diet and take it off. Once I got over 200 pounds, I think I started to just give up, though. I became depressed and ate more and just got bigger. I kept going until I stepped on the scale in the summer of 2000 and saw 260 pounds. At that point I realized I was closer to 300 than I was to 200, and I could deny my eating problems no longer. I started a lifestyle change and lost 22 pounds. I sit here today (November 4, 2000) at 238 pounds. I am lighter and healthier than I was five months ago, but I still have a long way to go.
I started this site because of all the inspiration I receive from other weight loss sites on the net. I know it will help me, and I hope it will help others. I am tired of feeling tired. I want to be healthier, sexier and happier. I know I can do it...I will be a success!
For the record, I'm 5' 8" tall, and I plan to lose weight in a healthy way. I'll be eating lots of good food, exercising, and drinking water. I'm not following any particular plan. While I'm sure all the different plans out there really seem to work well, I've done well by keeping it simple.
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