12/1/01
I'm excited for Paula. She's got 2 more days. They just put out a new policy at work.....we can't read in our booth anymore. What in the world will I do to keep my mind from thinking and thinking about my own surgery for the whole shift each day.
12/7/01
Paula had surgery Tuesday and came through fine. She slept an awfully long time so she still had the tube in her throat when I saw her. I was afraid it would scare me and it did. She wasn't in pain, it just unnerved me. I was seeing her through my kids eyes. I was seeing what they'll see when I have mine. I didn't realize how nervous I was till I cried. I cried on the way to the car. I cried when I got home. I soaked in the tub for only about 20 minutes...highly unusual for me.....and went to bed at 8:00. Ha! I never go to bed before the wee hours of the morning. I didn't get to see Paula the next day, but on Thursday she looked wonderful. And she's supposed to come home today.
12/14/01
Paula's doing well. That's encouraging.
12/15/01
I'm more nervous than I realized. I mentioned on the support group that I was gonna write letters to my family and when someone replied and said she did also I started crying. I don't know if I'm nervous or just PMSy.
12/18/01
Well, I've written all my letters. They will most likely not get read, but at least they're there in case something goes wrong. My goodbyes. I just feel better knowing they're there if needed.
1/14/02
I'm so sorry I haven't written in here lately. I've had a time with my nerves. I'm more nervous than I want to admit. I've had all my classes except the Dietician class, and that's Thursday night. I had all my pre-op lab work and paper work done Friday. So, now I just wait. I have 10 days and a wake up. LOL. I don't count the 25th, since they're doing mine at 7:30 am. I'm so glad I won't have to go the whole day worrying about it.
1/15/02
Nine days and a wake up! I can't believe it's next Friday. I think I'm handling the tension better, but I'm sure Mike might not agree. LOL. I found out today you have to wait 8 weeks after surgery to have sex. WHOA!!!!!!!
1/16/02
Oh, gosh, it really seems close. Am I ready for this?
1/19/02
Only 5 more days and a wake up. I'm excited, nervous, excited, scared,excited, anxious, and ...oh, uh, did I say excited? LOL.
1/24/02
I can't believe it!!! It's finally here and I have a sinus thing that might cause them to delay the surgery. Great timing! The nurse said as long as I don't have a fever they should go ahead with it. I don't have one, so far. She said if I'm stuffy they will just suction me. Well, that sounds so grose but I don't care. I just want to do this and get it over with. Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2/1/02
Okay! I'm a Posty now. Postop.I got home Tuesday. I had a rough time, had to stay an extra day. The upperGI xray showed my stomach was not emptying. But after having a bm, the doc said that showed it was. So, I went for another the next day, and that one showed the same, but he had me drink some barium stuff, and it showed that it was going through. So, yippie!!!!! I got to come home. So far, everything I've eaten has agreed with me. I'm still on clear liquids, my Carnation Instant Breakfast, and jello, broth, juice. I made a mistake the other day, left some broth in the pan and just reheated it for supper. WRONG!!!!! I had drank several cups, our little medicine cups, and realized it tasted like fish. It was chicken broth. Well, I'm still burping a fish taste. Won't do that again. But other than that, I've liked what I had to drink. The hardest thing is spacing the time it takes to take all of the pills and vitamins. Can only take 2 and wait 20 minutes to take 2 more. I have several presurgery meds, plus now all the vitamins.
My epidural didn't work after surgery, didn't take away the pain,so they finally switched me to a pump. The nurse the first night of surgery had scared me to death. I'd already been afraid of dying, and she kept telling me if I didn't start breathing better, I'd go into respiratory failure. I panicked. I thought for sure I was going to die. I was too sleepy from the Morphine, so I'd sleep but would not breathe deeply. And when that little bitty nurse pulled me out of the bed, I really wanted to kill her. LOL. She was a real witch, she kept saying "you've had surgery, it's GOING to hurt!!!!" Tess was her name. My favorite nurse was Debra. I did not think I could deal with having to let a nurse clean me after a bm, and she made it so much easier for me. She made it easy enough, even though I had said I could not let Mike help me bathe, I asked him to please help me shower. I really never thought I could do that. I've always been so ashamed for anyone to see me. But he also made it easy for me. In fact, it brought us even closer, knowing how much I trusted him. He has been so wonderful, but then, I never thought he'd be anything but. He's just my Godsend. I thank God for him. I couldn't have done this without him. Okay, been sitting at this computer too long, got to move.
2/8/02
Found out the fish taste was from the A&D vitamin. UGH! I'm up to soft foods now. Tried some mashed potatoes last night, but forgot to make them thin, so they came back up. Tried again later and they stayed down. I had my checkup yesterday. I've only gone down 14, but I guess that's better than none. I have this ungodly itch all over my body. They gave me something for it, but it hasn't touched it. I have bloody scratch marks all over me. I'm frustrated. I don't know what to eat. Guess I'll stick with soups and my Carnation Instant Breakfast.
2/13/02
The itch is almost gone. Some say it's from the anesthesia, and some of them say it may last a month. I'm 19 days postop, and it's still here but not as horrible as it has been. I've been able to eat a scrambled egg, which was sooooo good. LOL. If I have a half piece of toast with it, it's okay, but if I try to eat a whole piece, it all comes back up. I can also eat refried beans with cheese, and a few tortilla chips. That's very nice. I have found that when I try to take my pills whole, that's when my throat closes up on me, so I crush them. I tried taking one whole Monday and it did it again, so I will crush them till I'm told I shouldn't anymore. They think this is simply because I'm a naturally nervous type person. That's why I had to stay an extra day in the hospital, my stomach just would not relax and let things go through smoothly. I've been having trouble making myself drink all the liquid I need to drink, I think today I'll mix up some Crystal Lite and see if that helps. And use a bigger cup and just keep telling myself "small sips", it seems the constant pouring in the little cups keeps me from drinking more, but if I don't use them I tend to forget and take bigger sips than I should.I'm also eating this concoction called Bavarian Delight, it has fatfree pudding, sugarfree Jello, pineapple, mandarin oranges, and of all things, cottage cheese and fatfree and sugarfree yogurt. Two things I swore I would never eat. LOL. But it's wonderful. And it helps me meet my protein quota. I need 50 grams of protein a day. I love the Carnation Instant Breakfast, which most people get sooooooo sick of, so that really helps me with the protein. My incision is healed now, it looks very nice. I need to make myself start my walking. I haven't really walked since the hospital. Shame on me.
2/16/02
Most of the itch is gone, I do still have some. I've been discouraged, I have been vomitting too much, but I'm sure it's because I eat too fast or drink too fast. So, I got my grandsons' baby spoon, and that seems to be helping me to slow down. Just seeing the spoon reminds me to lay it down between bites. I'm anxious to go back to the doc. I'm hoping she says I can have meats now. I cheated tonight. I found a can of soup that has grilled sirloin steak, baked potatoes and cheese. Oh, my, I had to have it. LOL. But I did have Mike put it through the blender. And I seem to have tolerated it very well. It was sooooooo good.
3/13/02
I'm so sorry I have not updated sooner. I've been a little down, having trouble throwing up, not knowing what to eat, just being very confused. But, I have finally made some progress. I have lost 36 pounds, and I've lost 3 inches in my hips and my thighs, 1 in my waist and 2 in my bust. I'm on my way. LOL. Now, if I could just stop throwing up I'd be okay. Also, I finally think I can deal with my numbers. I started at 369, and am now at 333. My goal is 150. Wish me luck.
4/12/02
Once again, I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update. I've lost 53, finally, down to 316. The throwing up is much better, not nearly as often. I can eat most anything now except no beef or soft bread for a few more weeks, till I'm 3 months postop. I don't have much appetite, I can't decide on something nourishing to eat. After throwing up, I can't eat or drink for a few hours or it comes up again. Even ONE drink of water can do it. I can finally get into a size smaller jeans, and a lot smaller blouse. Actually blouses instead of mens' t-shirts. That's soooooo nice. LOL. I'm gonna post pics today. Oh God! LOL.
4/19/02
Hey, finally down 58. It feels good. And I can finally can wear smaller clothes. A good friend from the support group brought me several bags of clothes, I'm going through them all to see just what all I can wear. LOL. This is so much fun!!!!!!!!