Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know that I'm still alive. I'm writing this
letter slowly because I know that you can not read fast. You won't
know the house when you come home - we've moved.

About your father... he has a lovely new job. He has 500 men under
him. He is cutting grass at the cemetary.

There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in,
but it wasn't working too good. Last week I put 14 shirts into it,
pulled the chain, and I haven't seen the shirts since.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven't found out
whether it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you're an aunt
or an uncle.

Your Uncle Dick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in Dublin
Brewery. Some of his workmates dived in to save him, but he fought
them off bravely. We cremated his body and it took us three days
to put out the fire.

Your father didn't have much to drink at Christmas. I put a bottle
of Casteroil in his pint of beer. It kept him going untill New Year's
Day.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father came with me. The
doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to open it for
ten minutes. Your father offered to buy the tube from him.

It only rained twice last week. First for three days and then for four
days. Monday it was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same
egg four times. We had a letter from the undertaker yesterday. He
said if the last installment on your grandmother wasn't paid within
seven days, up she comes.

Your Loving Mother,

P.S. I was going to send you $10.00 but I had
already sealed the envelope.