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| Clever Girl... >> Myself >> Pearls of Wisdom >> Part 4 05 Februrary 2001: I don't ever want to feel like I did that day... I'm sure that to a lot of people that sounds incredibly shallow - that, having lived almost 19 years, the worst day of my life was the day I discovered a guy didn't love me. They would think I must have lived an incredibly sheltered life, that I was terribly melodramatic, or... I don't know what. But I DO know that's what most people think. 17 Februrary 2001: A very special Valentines entry... Those 45 minutes, and the hour back to my house, were the most hellish part of my pilgrimage. I just walked on and on... seemingly endlessly... through smog, traffic, and god only knows what else. I felt like an orphan, a pilgram, a displaced person... 06 March 2001: Here's hoping you never read this... Although you may not be the hottest person I've ever seen, you are the rightest person I've ever known. 10 March 2001: Yep, another letter... We never actually DO anything. We just sit. And it's great to a certain extent, but if that's all you have... life gets dull. 22 March 2001: Leaf by leaf, and page by page... |
| I just felt so out of place, so bored... as though I wasn't even there. I didn't feel at all like an active part of proceedings. I just felt as thought I was watching everything, like an outer body experience. I was as though I was a ghost, or astral travelling, or watching a movie. While I was there, I wasn't with these people, I wasn't ONE of these people. 14 April 2001: Without me, his world would go on turning... It was so beautiful, so postmodern, and so movie-like. As we were walking through the city streets, after the party, I realised that we were... well... walking through the city streets, and so I started singing 'On My Own' from Les Miserables. Anne joined me, we sang, spinning around, hugging, forgetting the words occasionally - just like they do in the movies. And there was such a... dramatic irony to it all. And for that reason it was beautiful. It was a moment. previous next back |