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| Clever Girl... >> Myself >> Pearls of Wisdom >> Part 3 12 October 2000: What a pretty life you have... ... it just hurts whenever people say to me: "so, why aren't you two together?" and I have to say: "It's because he thinks I;m ugly!" Go me! 13 December 2000: And it goes round in circles... Well, I don't know if I wrote this the other day, but I have this theory that people almost ALWAYS know the truth within themselves... the truth of what they feel, the truth about what's going to happy. So is my insurmountable pessimism a result of its inherent truth or my constant paranoia? Who knows? 14 December 2000: I'm the only true romantic left... I know all these feelings are wrong, but I can't help it. It's just the way I am. 16 December 2000: I came across some casual photos... As I once said in a moment of horror: "I always thought I'd only loved two guys, but maybe, in reality, there were only two guys I'd ever really LIKED." 26 December 2000: You say I only hear what I want to... Oh, optimism is persistent. It seems that obliteration is NECESSARY for me to believe things will go wrong, which is |
| really very silly. I hate this limbo in which I really BELIEVE things are going to go well, but at the same time believe they won't. It's awful and confusing. 19 January 2001: What a girl wants... Mmmm... I called Carmen this afternoon... and we were acting like such dorks... particularly Carmen... hehehe... she was like "wow! this is so so so so so so exciting!" 03 February 2001: Embrace delusion while it lasts... As for delusion, last week I gave **** 66 points on my little scale thingy. Why, you might ask? The answer is simple: because I wanted to. 03 February 2001: The Perfect Guy Now I understand that if I trust Andrew to pick movies for me (on the basis that he recommends them because he thinks *I* will like them, instead of it just being that HE likes them), I can also trust him to pick guys for me. I mean, his description of my ideal guy, all those months ago, was almost as accurate as my own. previous next back |