Paranoia
my paranoia boxes me in. i try to share and be friendly and good, but my paranoia tells me that im shut up inside without anyone caring. today, in english, we analyzed a poem. everyone saw a father and son dancing. i saw a beaten child. i was paranoid everyone knew about my crazy family and thought i was a nerd- dont talk to me. so then amy calls, and asks if i like jarred. i do. but i dont want to tell. paranoia keeps me from sharing even though i want to. she calls me back. he likes me too. im happy and excited, but by the time i go to bed, i think it was just a plot to make me look dumb. but the logical half of me argues, but no one listens to that half. i know its right0 i hope. but i dont see how he can want to go out with me. maybe amy comvinced him. she gets paul and i get him> win-win? jarred wanted her and i wanted paul (and jarred) and i get jarred? thats just the paranoia. im crazy. i am. i am. im just paranoid

in perfect suburbia