Rain is falling, everywhere. Drenched and soaked I limp through the mud in rags. My tatters are the only thing providing me with shelte. No one around me, no one to help me, I'm in this alone. A barren wasteland is around me, what once I found beautiful is now utterly worthless, gone. Was it always like this or did the beauty fade? Nothing is around me except for a cross. The only sign of life is hangin there. Bloodied, battered beyond all recognition. I don't know him, yet somehow I do. I know I caused this, somehow I did this. What can I do now? My blame, guilt, and faults are on you. Why? What did you do to deserve this? Hanging there, dieing for someone so unclean? We don't deserve this, we never did. I can't pay you back for all you've done. You offered me so much. For that I could never repay. You have only told me to do one thing...Spread the word.
Reminicent about the Holocaust
6 million died. A worthless cause, so much humanity lost. The battle was not even worth the war. So many lost. So much suffering. Where was God through all of this? Where was God? God was the hope that those people believed in. He was with the children that sabotaged the machinery, He was the one that used so many to free them. He was with his chosen race as they suffered this.
Crying with them
Sitting, walking, this life is just an endless cycle. Nothing's new, nothings real. All of this is fake. Everything, everyone here is fake. What's the point of being alive if all we do is breath? What's the point of living if we are empty? There's no point of living. Even if substitutes are found to fill the gap. It runs out anyways. I'm seeking, foever seeking for the perfect filler. One that will never run out. Unknown to me, I was the one being sought. I have been found. What I do has been found out. So forgiving is He who found me. How many times I've messed up, how many times I've fallen, I do not know. Yet, you have always stood by me, when I thought I was alone you've stood by me, carried me. I have new hope. I can stay smiling through the storm because I have your promises to rely on.
This burden is weighing me down, crushing me, slowly suffocating me. What is it Lord thats keeping me from giving it to you? Is it pride? guilt? fear? What is it? My thoughts are so jumbled together I can't think straight. What is wrong I sometimes consider right. What is right I sometimes consider wrong. Did you go through this struggle when you were on Earth? What makes us humans so fragile, ignorant and vulnerable? Why can't we realize that the calamities we experience are not of You? but it is of ourselves, our sinfulness which leads to its consequences? Another night. Another fall into my temptations. Lord I'm not deserving this salvation you give me, if all I do is abuse it. Sometimes I just wonder what I would be doing if you came now. Would I be doing something pleasing to You? Or something so shameful that I wouldn't be able to look at your face? These questions are all in my head, and I don't know the answers to all of them. In due time I know that they shall be revealed.