The Lighter Side of DBZ
Most Idiotic One-Liners
When the orignal script is changed it is called a punch up. A punch up can
be good or it can be a Funimation punch up. A Funimation punch up means two
things: 1. It is going to hurt and 2. It's going to fry brain cells. Corny
dialog punch up are meant to DBZ the Power Ranger feel for seven year olds
or becuase Funimation thinks they are funny. FACT: They annoying and they
aren't funny! (Keep in mind none of these lines were part of the orignal DBZ
only the dub)
[] Are part of the qoute
( ) Are my own personal comments
|
Season 1
|
Tien: You just wait until my arm grows back (Okkkkkay, ether this is a sad attempt of sugar coating DBZ by the censores or Fundimation has the dumbest writters alive)
Vegeta: "Too bad it's Sunday, those buildings would have been full tomorrow."
Nappa (after destroying the city): "These humans are such cowards! A little target practice on some empty buildings, and they scatter!"
News and Radio: The city had been evacuated.....
Kaiou: "Oh, great! Your ring's gone, you've been wished back!" (For some reason they can't say halo becuase that terminology too "religious".)
Nappa (upon leveling the city): "That area may have been evacuated, but it'll give them something to think about!"
Helicopter guy: "They blew up the cargo robot!" (Uhhh why would the press need a cargo robot?)
Tenshinhan (after Nappa blows up a manned chopper): "Look! I can see their parachutes! They're ok..."
Nappa: "I never did watch the news... well, maybe just a few times... and it stunk!"
Nappa: "...you'd be waiting for a bus somewhere in the next
dimension! How'd you get so mighty all of a sudden?"
To which Piccolo replies: "Haven't you ever heard the story of David and Goliath?"
(1. No, Nappa is an alien, he has not heard the story of David and Goliath.
I don't believe missionaries came bringing Bibles to the planet Vegeta 2.
Piccolo is a demon. Piccolo is a character in a Japanese anime based on a
Chinese folk tale. WHY IS PICCOLO PREACHING BIBLE STORIES?? 3. How could Piccolo
possibly know this story in the first place??? - DBZ Uncensored)
Goku comes to the "realization" that Vegeta was the one who killed his grandfather, and destroyed the Tenkaichi battle arena. (No Goku is not stupid, he knows that it was him who stomped grandfather and Tenkaichi battle arena.)
Radio: Roushi Island Weather Report
|
Season 2
|
Kurrin: As I lay me down to sleep.... (This in my opinon is one of the most offensive dialog change by FunDIMation for the following reason: KURRIN IS A BUDIST MONK WHY WOULD HE SAY A CHRISTAN PRAYER!!)
Goku (picks up beer): "Why is this thing in here? I think I'll have a sports soda instead, it's much better for me and tastes great!" (A service anoucement form FunDIMation.)
Robotic voice: "Space probes initiating offensive strike Delta." (Wrongggggggggggggg!)
Goku: "The ship I came here in is still in perfect working order." (Uhhh... no it's not... Piccolo blasted through it with a Makkanpossapo in episode 18, remember?? - DBZ Uncenosred.)
Dodoria (to Dende): "Your brother may have escaped, but not you!" (Kargo was killed by Dodoria.)
Gohan (to Kuririn): "If it wasn't for you, we'd all be lying in the emergency ward right now!" .
Kuririn (to Dende): "We'll take you back to your dad and brother later." (Nooooo, they are dead.)
Vegeta (to Dodoria): "Taking you down will be easier than catching fish in a barrel!" (It's SHOOTING fish in a barell, if your going to put american sayings in Japanize cartoons do them right!)
Goku (fires two Kamehameha into the star): "Kaiouken times 10!" [then] "Kaiouken times 20!" (Kaiouken is not an attack, it is a powering-up technique, nothing like the Kamehameha.)
Buruma (to Dende): "I'm sure you're family's okay..." (Sorry Dende they are still dead)
Gohan: "They'll probably just hunt down the rest of the Nameks, trying to get their dirty hands on the Dragon Balls, and probably hurt them too!" (Oooh!! Oh no! They'll hunt the Nameks down and HURT them! Oh please, Mr. Evil Freeza, don't HURT me! - DBZ Uncenored)
Notice the evasive language used in this episode and the next one when discussing the Great Elder's impending death. "His time is near," "He's leaving," "I won't be around much longer," etc. It's NATURAL CAUSES for god's sake! Can't they just make an exception and say "die" this one time?? - DBZ Uncensored
Kurrin: "It's the only chance I have of making my wish and getting rid of that frosty Freeza!"
Kurrin: "Special powers? If I had that I'd have a full head of hair" (Kurrin is a monk he is bald by choice)
Kurrin: "It is I who now posess POW-ER!!"
Gohan: "Vegeta's been here-I bet he was the one who hurt all the people and ruined the land like this..." (There is that "hurting" thing another sad attempt to hide death.)
Gohan: "I sure hope everyone got away all right..." (No they are dead you just buired them!)
Goku's pod: "Thank you for flying with Capsule Corporation, please deposit 3000 credits to book your return flight, buh-bye!
Gohan: "Solid!"
Freeza: (In reference to the DB's) "These balls make me feel somethingthat resembles joy I think. I want to caress them..."
Recoome: "My name is Recoome, it rhymes with doom, and you'll be hurting all toosoon. Heh heh, I truly am a man of many talents."
Burter: "If you don't finish them in the next five minutes,
no TV for a week!"
Recoome: "OK...I like to watch soap operas."
|
Season 3
|
Narrator: "Oh yeah, I almost forgot... Krillin's in da house!" (This is the worst one liner ever to be heard on DBZ and if I ever hear some thing like it agian I will not watch the show ever)
Goku: "You know, you don't have to hurt other people for amusement. Helping people can be fun, too!" (I luaghed out loud when I heard this.)
Kurrin: Mondo Cool!
Freeza: "All right big guy. Whatever turns you on!"
Freeza: (to Goku) "We could have been so good together"
Kurrin: Locked on and ready to kick butt!
Jees: "Sometimes you've gotta know when to GO, GO, GO!!"
Kuririn: "Just a couple of wild and crazy space explorers!"
Goku: "It's bad Karma!"
Freeza (to Nail, upon tearing his arm off): "Maybe you can use it as a backscratcher! Ha ha ha! A backscratcher! Where do I come up with this stuff?"
Kuririn (trying to summon Porunga): "Hear my howl!" (Since when did Kurrin have a howl!)
Kuririn: "Don't we get one phone call?"
Ginyu: "I've got to get the strength up in this body, or I'm done like dinner!"
Ginyu: I hope you're both wearing clean underwear, because you're about to take a trip to the emergency ward!" (Emgergancy ward must be another way to avioding saying death.)
Vegeta: "Get along little froggy!"
Kurrin: "Excuse me for living!"
Gohan: "Hasta la Vista, Froggy!"
Gohan: "Yeah! Good ol' Namek. Where balls are born!"
Kaiou's antennae standing at attention making a stupid "morse code" sound effect
Yamucha and Tenshinhan bickering like teenage girls about Yamucha's hair.
Porunga's Jokes (completely out of character)
Kuririn "A dragon with a sense of humor!" remark.
Kaiou: "And just ten cents a minute. That's my rate! Hey, I still got it! Hee heh heh SNORT SNORT SNORT honk honk!"
Yamucha calling Piccolo "da bomb!"
Piccolo telling Kaiou: "this must be what it's like to have a Mom!
Piccolo (after fusing): "Yes! Yes! I feel great! I can do this! I'm home! I'm awake! I'm alive! I'm wide awake!" (Doesn't this sound like a Calgon commercial)
Anouncer: "this ugly monster lets his fingers do the walking!"
Freeza: "Just look at all those lost sheep, waiting for the good news from their King!"
Freeza: "You cut off my tail, you imbecile! And now I'm going to eat you!"
Dende: "Go green!"
Kuririn: "It ain't over till the fat lady sings!"
Vegeta: "Well, I'd say she just hummed a few bars."
Piccolo: "Sticks and stones, Freeza"
Vegeta (as camera pans over to unhurt Freeza): "It's over!" (What is over?)
Kuririn: "It's times like this that I say to myself: Why didn't I become a shoe salesman?"
Freeza: "Ladies and gentlemen, with great honor I present to you the greatest transformation ever witnessed!"
Freeza: "I may not win any beauty contests, but I'll beat your tail"
Freeza: "I'm sure I eliminated all the Saiyans except for Vegeta, Nappa and Raditz twenty years ago." (Correction it was 3 years ago)
Vegeta: Tear a strip out of me cuz if we don't we're doomed!
Buruma: Doomed, without any mascara on!
Kuririn: He'd take on Freeza and whip his sorry keester!
Piccolo: I think one day we'll return and kick Fr..."
Gohan: What are you saying?
Freeza: "Good night, sweet prince" (Why is FunDIMation quoting Shakespear in a action japanese cartoon)
Freeza: "On and on like a broken record"
Bardok: "Don't be afraid of him, men!" (Those are Freeza's men and they are in your way)
Freeza: "Your shoe came untied" [music: BOM BOM!]
Goku: "I don't even have shoelaces!" [music: BOM!] )
Vegeta: "He took me from my father when I was just a little boy!"
Yamucha: "No kidding? That's wack!" (That line is wack)
Freeza: "I'm making a stew down there, and I wouldn't mind adding a Namek for seasoning"
Narrator: "Freeza came up to bat..." "It's going, it's going, it's...no!" "Up against the fence, it's Goku with a great catch!"
Goku: "Hammer time!"
Freeza: "This way I won't break a nail"
Freeza: [A bunch of unintelligible nursery rhyme-like crap while he smacks Goku about the face with his tail]
Goku: "When's the last time you had a bath?...Whew, it's downright unpleasant back here!"
Freeza: "You are SOOOO dead!"
Buruma: "I could be the next Jane Goodall except with frogs!"
Freeza: "Oh yes, now I'm stoked" (This stoner reference makes me feel dirty)
Gyuumaou: "Do I make myself clear?"
Chichi: "But dad, you don't drink beer!" (Oh good another serivice anouncement
that is exacly what DBZ needs)
Goku: "Stars in heaven, give me more power!"
Freeza: "I spy with my little eye one pitiable Namek who got away!"
Goku: "It's two...two great battles in one on the next exciting episode of Dragon Ball Z!"
Kuririn: "I'm homesick!"
Kuririn: "HELP ME!" (This is what we call wooden acitng.)
Freeza: "Pop goes the weasel!"
Narrator: "Can Goku avenge the life of his close friend Krillin?" (Uh... you don't typically avenge someone's life. You tend to avenge their DEATH. - DBZ Uncensored)
Goku (in the previous episode): "This is the last time I'm going
to tell you! Get out of here right now!"
Goku (in the recap): "Just do as I say, Gohan... leave me now... can't you
see I need to be alone?" (How did the lines change over episodes?)
Dr. Briefs: "Could this be it, Scratch?" (The cat doesn''t have a name)
Freeza: "The jury's still out on that one!"
Narrator: "POW! Right in the kisser! But wait... ho ho ho... I'd be shaking in my boots too, Freeza!"
Freeza: "This CUNT be!" (WHAT! Does Freeza think he is John Cluade VanDamn all the sudden?)
Kaiou: "We're back in the saddle!" (This brings back painfull memories of Tien's spoiled-by-FunDIMation death scene)
Freeza: "I can breathe in space, but you can't!" (Even if you could live in space the fact still remains THERE IS NOTHING IN SPACE TO BREATH)
Freeza: "What's the matter? Is your phone call over? Good thing they reached you before I disconnected your number!"
Kaiou: "How many Super Saiyans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Goku: "How many?"
Kaiou: "There's no telling, but it only takes one to beat Freeza!" [Retard
laughter with a bunch of snorts and guffaws]
Kaiou: "(overexplaining everything)"
Freeza: "Round and round the monkey goes. If he should stop, off with his nose!"
Freeza: "That's a pretty good trick for a primate!" (Definition of primate: 1. Monkies 2. Apes 3. HUMANS)
Kaiou: "Awwww yeeeah! OK! Give it to him, Goku! Oh boy! Uh huh! Make him really FEEEEL it! Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
Goku: "I don't understand why you call Saiyans by such mindless names. The only thing it does is reveal your own fear and ignorance."
Freeza: "Like a little circus chimp. Come one, come all! See the spectacular chimp in a maze! Where will he run today?"
Yamucha: "He's like the Great Houdini or something."
Buruma: "Hey homeboy!"
Porunga: "Hey, yo people, let's move it. One more wish!"
Burter: "If you don't finish them in the next five minutes,
no TV for a week!"
Recoome: "OK...I like to watch soap operas."
Goku: "It must be my diet. I eat really healthy foods!"
Burter: "You think? Your diet, huh? Well, you'll be eating my fist next!"
Goku: Ally to good! Nightmare to you!
|
Season 4
|
Yamacha: Cat loves food. Ya yeah yeah yeah.
Buluma: Your such a nut!
Goku: Wow I bet its grape flavored too!
Yamcha: Hardcore!
Krillun: Cool it Gohan, your cramping my style.
Piccolo: My ears do more than just frame my face ya know.
Gohan: Piccolo grabed the grabber!
Man on hoverboard: Yeah Man! You flyin' dude (There is no Japanise word for "dude")
Yamacha: I almost bit the big one!
Man in car: Move it or lose it pal!
Anoucer: ["Andriod puns"]
Yamcha (while carring Goku): He's put on some weight
Krillun: Cut him some lack he's been sick.
Piccolo: We got all our duck lined up!
20: Ducks? That makes no sense!
Krillun: This plan is half baked.
Piccolo: No it fully baked.
17: Can Goku come out and play?
Trunks: I know your future, I read your palm.
Tien: "No doubt!"
Gohan: "At least he put his sword away."
Krillin: "Yeah, and your dad put his finger away too."
Piccolo: (To Vegeta) "How does that grab you?"
Krillin: "Dying is such a bummer!" Gohan: "Yeah, I'll bet."
Goku: "Maybe I shouldn't have taken that left turn at Mars..."
Yamcha: "Whoa, Krillin, you are so in there! That chick digs
you man! I can tell!
Krillin: "Are you sure?"
Yamcha: "Yes, I'm sure! But, she's a woman dude! Oh, man!"
Garlic,Jr.: "Come to big daddy Garlic!"
Tien: "Is his shoe size a secret too?"
Yamcha- "Does he have a secret spy decoder ring?"
Vegeta: "I stopped caring about being better than Kakarott."
MasterRoshi: "Aw poopy."
Gohan: "Guess who joined the Super Saiyan Club!"
Krillin: "Wow, that Android's toast!" Piccolo: "More like...burnt toast."
Cell: "How did you acquire this new strength? Enlighten me!"
Vegeta: "I do a lot of push-ups and sit-ups. And I drink plenty of juice."
Krillin:"Mama mia!"
JimmyFirecracker: He's as calm as a cucumber!
JimmyFirecracker: Cell's made his ring, and now he's got to sleepin it!
Yajirobie/Korin's Bevis and Butt Head luagh
Krillin: "Bro."
Garlic Jr.: Two heads are better than one
Yajirobe: How did a dog ugly guy like you score that chick!
Krillun: I'm glad i'm not a lightning rod
Gohan: Thats the worst Humfry Boguard imitation i've ever heard
Popo's over explained flash back
Kami: ...in your dreams
Spice boys talking like Looney Toons Gangsters
Kami: ...you'll never get away with this
Gohan: He bucked me like a Bronc
Gohan: Bummer
Anouncer: Posie of darkness
Anouncer: Don't mess with Gohan when Piccolo is around. Its just not a smart thing to do.
Korin: ...What's shaken
Yajirobe: Whats up dude
References to the Cuta Gra
Amped whimpering
Gohan: Gosh creepers
Krillun: Man o Man
Spice: No way
Vinager: Darn, yes way!
Kami: Head for the hills
Garlic Jr.'s references to baseball
Krillun: A hole in one
Garlic Jr.: Your attack plan has a few holes in it
Garlic Jr.: Like they say an old Namican never dies he just fades away.
Garlic Jr.: He shoots! He scores!
Garlic Jr.: You are sooo dead
Garlic Jr.: Two heads are better than one
Kami: Well I'll be a green pointy eared monkey's uncle!
Oloong: This is just like beauty and the geek
Krillujn: Shoot yeah!
Home | Anti-Funimation | Worst One liners | Editorial | Contact Us | Disclaimer | Worst DBZ Media
