Being
happy is a feeling; it is the well being that comes from a balanced mind. When
we have more control of our thinking so that our mind is not always telling us
what we should be doing, we can start to experience more happiness. As
Aristotle said, "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a
thought without accepting it." If we cannot stop our thoughts from
always telling us what to think about or what to react to then we are not in
control of ourselves. This is the reason we feel that doing things will get us
where we think we need to be. The truth is we really don't need to go anywhere.
If we start right where we are now, we can begin to realize we have everything
we need to be happy. The only thing we are actually missing is the realization
that we have everything we need to start being happy right now. --Lionel
Ketchian
"I
have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It
is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that
makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or
joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can
humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response
that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is
humanized or de-humanized." - Goethe
In
order to serve on the Sanhedrin, one had to be able to prove that a sheretz
(species of reptile) does not cause ritual impurity, even though the Torah
explicitly says that it does. The judges had to recognize that with their own
great mental acuity they could convince themselves of almost anything, and
therefore needed to subject their own thinking to that of the Torah.--
Zev Leff
Being
happy is the only way to find happiness. Being happy means that you get to keep
the experience of happiness. Happiness cannot be uncovered in the past or found
in the future. Happiness is only in this moment. Happiness cannot be found at
all. You must…become it. When you become happy you will find
that…it becomes you. Happiness means that you are becoming a Healthy
Happy Human.-- Lionel Ketchian
As
William James once said, "How to gain, how to keep, how to recover
happiness is in fact, for most people, at all times, the secret motive for all
they do."
"Worrying
is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you
anywhere. " anonymous
"You
will become as small as your controlling desire, or as great as your dominant
aspiration." - James Allen
Once we realize that imperfect understanding is the human condition there is
no shame in being wrong, only in failing to correct our mistakes. -George Soros
He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks.--LaRochefoucard
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of
ourselves. -Carl Jung
Everything is part of a larger order and of a realm of which "G-d is
king". Separation between men, and within man, and man's separation from
G-d are occasioned by one cardinal sin: forgetfulness. Man forgets G-d as the
source of all reality, and, with this forgetfulness forgets also his own roots.-A.I.
Kook
Most of the evil that befalls individuals comes from the imperfections within
themselves. Out of these imperfections of ours we cry out demands. The evil we
inflict upon ourselves, of our own volition, and which pains us, this evil we
ascribe to G-d. -Maimonides
He who flees from G-d flees into himself. -Philo
The waves of our soul beat ceaselessly on the shores of consciousness.- A.I.
Kook
Living in the past or living in the future produces a spiritual and emotional
numbness to the present. And a depressed person chooses that numbness over facing
the pain of the present. They usually fail to realize that living with that
numbness is what deepens their depression. If I were to ask them: What is the
opposite of pleasure? they would probably answer: pain. Pain, I tell them, is
not the opposite of pleasure. Numbness, insensitivity, the inability to feel is
the opposite of pleasure. However, because you believe that pain is the opposite
of pleasure, you avoid it al all costs, despite the fact that the thing you
should really be avoiding is numbness.
Life has pain. We all have to deal with pain. A depressed person
thinks he is freed from pain and failure that even the most successful people
constantly deal with. If you don't feel the pain, then you wont feel the
pleasure either.
You should overcome the pain, I tell them. It means that you are
alive. Without the pain there is no pleasure. Your whole problem, though, is
that you try to numb out the moment; you opt to hide in the womb of the past or
the tomb of the future rather than facing the present ready to be born. -Ezriel
Tauber
All neurosis is a substitute for legitimate suffering. -Carl Jung
The young man who will not cry is a savage; the old man who cannot laugh is a
fool. -G. Santayana
Stress occurs when we forget we are the thinkers. -J. Bailey
Self-respect is the fruit of discipline. The sense of dignity grows with the
ability to say no to oneself. -A.J. Heschel
The major impediment to growth is being bound to old habits and old patterns
which we refuse to change. A.J. Twerski
The world punishes us for taking it too seriously as well as for not taking
is seriously enough.--John Updike
"Horse sense" is what horses have that keeps them from betting on
people. --W.C. Fields
Rejoice whenever we discover a new imperfection, for only when we learn how
to put up with ourselves can we arrive at a place of interior peace. -Cassade, from the Spirituality of Imperfection by Kurtz & Ketcham
If the happiness in life passes by unnoticed it also passes by
unenjoyed. --Foster & Hicks (?)
If you do not ask yourself what it is you know, You will go on listening to
others and change will not come because you will not hear your own truth. -St.
Bartholimew
Humility does not mean to be a nobody. It means not being more of a somebody
than you ought to be. -Noah Weinberg
And so I leave this
world, where the heart must either break or turn to lead.
Suicide note.
~~ Nicolas-Sebastien Chamfort, French writer, d. 1794
"Breathe in patience, equanimity, confidence.
Breathe out fear, distrust, self-attack."-- J. Kennedy
The more I attempted to "be me" the more "me's" I found there were.
I now see that "being me" means acknowledging all that I feel
at the moment, and then taking responsibility for my actions by consciously choosing which level of my feelings
I am going to respond to. - Hugh Prather.
"The
trick is what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."
Carlos Castaneda
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best,night and day, to make you everybody else
means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight;and never stop fighting."---e.e. cummings
For
one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our
tasks;
the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for
which all other work is but preparation....Rainer Maria Rilke
"Personally, I'm
always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught." -
Winston Churchill
This
is a great truth, one of the greatest truths...Once we truly know that life is
difficult -- once we truly understand and accept it -- then life is no longer
difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult
no longer matters.---M.Scott Peck"
And
the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the
risk it took to blossom.---Anias Nin"
"Once
the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box."---Italian Saying
You do not need
to leave your room.
Remain sitting at your table
and listen.
Do not even listen,
simply wait.
Do not even wait,
be quite still and ordinary.
The world will freely offer itself
to you to be unmasked.
It has no choice.
It will roll in ecstasy
at your feet.
--Franz Kafka
I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and
pursuits of false assumptions, not my exposure to founts of wisdom and
knowledge.---- Igor Stravinsky
"People
take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not
on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." - H. Jackson Brown,
Jr.
The
other day I said that you can choose to be happy, noting that on occasion it
might be difficult to stick by that decision. I can already hear the chorus of
objections. How can I be happy when somebody is rude to me? I don't want to be
happy when I lose somebody close to me? I can't help it if I'm mad; he cut me
off in line. You have the freedom to choose. Don't be mistaken. Choosing
happiness does take effort, something few people seem willing to do. Like
any other freedom, you must fight for the freedom to choose happiness. Isn't it
funny the silly things that people will go to great efforts fighting for (or
against), but we are willing to let so much happiness slip through our fingers
by just saying "I can't help it." If you don't want to be happy, that
is your choice and your right. There are times, like when we lose somebody
dear to us, when we don't want to be happy. That is your choice to make.
But most of the time there is no reason to feel anger, frustration or irritation
at people or events around us. "I can't help it" really means "I
choose to let the irritating person decide how I will feel." "If you
choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." -- Rush, in "Free
Will" What choice will you make today? David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy
Thank
you for your wonderful Happy Newsletters. Just finished enjoying the March 1st
issue which has inspired me to at last pass along this little tidbit I'd been
contemplating sending you of late. After reading your article, it seemed
possibly appropriate. (Though not entirely certain, I think the tale might
be attributable to author Gary Zukav.) A reporter once asked a monk from Tibet,
"Why are you always so optimistic? Your country is occupied by a foreign
army, and you may never be able to see you family again."
"Because," said the monk, "it makes me feel good." This monk
knew how to choose his thoughts deliberately. Kinda makes one contemplate what
thoughts we ourselves might be thinking or choosing for ourselves, doesn't it?
Ha! Don't ya just love it! I indeed seem to be getting just a
little bit better at it with every opportunity. At least I THINK I am! Feels
like it at least! Practice makes perfect! I can't begin to tell you the number
of times I might think of happiness in a day that might give me pause to smile,
and help lift me anew toward my own 'emotional competence'! Can't recall where
this next 'just now stumbled upon' bit came from. Anyway, seemed also
of possible interest. "Life is lived from within and one can never be hurt
by what appears to be happening outside. You can change circumstances, if you so
desire for your only purpose in life is to make choices. Once the choice is
made, the entire universe moves to bring into fruition that which you
chose." – Barry (seigal?) letter to Lionel ketchian
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not
merely to grasp the world, but to change it. --Colin Wilson
You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control
your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering
change rather than allowing it to master you. --Brian Tracy
Not everything that is faced can be changed. But
nothing can be changed until it is faced.-- James Baldwin
We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we
allow the unexpected to happen. Every day, G-d gives us the sun and also
one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us
unhappy. Everyday, we try to pretend that we haven't perceived that moment, that
it doesn't exist, that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as
tomorrow.--Paulo Coelho
Vulnerability is an essential part of our paradoxical
nature and to fear it is to fear ourselves. We can be both strong and
vulnerable, courageous and overwhelmed, independent and in need of others,
without risk. We are not only capable of handling the complexity, we are
designed to in order to feel free.--Michele Toomey PhD, Liberation Psychology
For nature takes time, and most of our problems stem from
impatience. -- Mark Nepo
You must love yourself before you love another, By
accepting yourself and fully being what you are your simple presence can make
others happy.== Jane Roberts
Love is the free exercise of choice. Two people love each
other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose
to live with each other.--M. Scott Peck
An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly
considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. --G.K.
Chesterton
Almost all our failings are more pardonable than the means
we employ to hide them. -La Rouchefoucard
No evil can touch one who looks upon beauty; he feels at
one with the world. -Goethe
To live for results would be to sentence myself to continuous frustration. My
only sure reward is in my actions and not from them. -Hugh Prather
You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make
yourself do right in spite of your feelings. -Pearl S. Buck
I've never known any trouble than an hour's reading didn't assuage.-Schopenhauer
We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.-Schopenhauer
If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting
that none of us would be able to endure it.-Schopenhauer
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness,
the theologian all the stupidity.-Schopenhauer
The greatest of follies is to sacrifice health for any other kind of
happiness.-Schopenhauer
Many learned persons have read themselves stupid.-Schopenhauer
Boredom--the desire for desires. -Leo Tolstoy
The little I know, I owe to my ignorance. -Sacha Guitry
There is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself from going mad.
You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later. --Douglas
Adams--Life, the Universe and Everything
Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its pupils. -Hector
Louis Berlioz
Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your
grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. -N.
Hawthorne
Leisure is a form of silence, not noiselessness. It is the silence of contemplation such as occurs when we let our minds rest on a rosebud, a child at play, a Divine mystery, or a waterfall.
--Bishop Fulton J. Sheen
Our real thoughts are whole and unconflicted and are the source of our energy, inspiration, and ability to love. They allow us to see ourselves, other people, and situations as they are in the present. They allow us to expericnce the place where all hearts join. A T-thought [triggering thought] is a core belief that we developed at some point in our lives, usually during our formative years, that now stands in the way of our experiencing unity and peace. When something happens during the day to trigger a T-thought, it automatically clicks on, like a tape or a computer program. If we are not aware of its activity, the set of emotions it produces controls our decisions and outlook. - Hugh Prather
...why decide to take on T-thoughts in the first place? Why recommit to something destructive every day? In part, the answer is that we are looking at the very foundation of our individual egos. Remember, your ego is your desire to be distinct and separate from the people around you. Everyone in a world of separation wants separation, at least to some degree. Obviously, if we could not take this on, we would be completely ourselves, completely free, and we would experience only our oneness with everyone.-- Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go
He who talks about and reflects on the evil he did, is thinking evil, and what one thinks, therein is one caught. Stir filth this way or that, and it is still filth...In the time I brood, I could be stringing pearls for the joy of heaven. This is what is written:"Depart from evil, and do good." Turn wholly from evil, do not brood over it, but do good. You have done wrong? Then balance it by doing right. - Yitzhak Meir
Sanity is madness put to good use. -George Santayana
For there was never yet philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently --Shakespeare
To give up one's pretentions is as blessed a relief as to get them gratified. -William James
Every man, at the bottom of his heart, wants to do right. But only he can do right who knows right; only he knows right who thinks right; only he thinks right who believes right. --Tiorio
There can be no such thing as a necessary evil. For, if a thing is really necessary, it cannot be an evil and if it is an evil, it is not necessary. - Tiorio
When people are least sure, they are often most dogmatic. - Saul Bellow
Cigarettes contain toxic
chemicals, and cause abulia
or anomie (impaired impulse and ethical controls—the medical terminology for a
deadened conscience). Wherefore (as published since the 1830's), about 90% of
crime is by smokers. http://medicolegal.tripod.com/tcpg.htm
Mental illnesses are simply ways in which people cope with immense amounts of stress that have been bottled up too often and too long. Often these ways of coping are rather ingenious though on the surface they appear quite bizarre and "crazy." There is truly a "method" behind every "madness" -- the strange behaviors and symptoms of the mentally ill are actually the last-ditch efforts of the mind to cope with unbearable emotional buildup. –Dr. Michael Fordyce http://www.gethappy.net
Doctors long ago found that
cigarettes' toxic
chemicals cause brain "injury" that impairs memory, e.g.,
"takes away the power of resistance" to impulses and harm up to and
including death. Cigarettes' toxic chemicals lead to abulia, a "state of
dethronement of reason from its governing power," People
v Carmichael, 5 Mich 10, 21, 71 Am Dec 769 (1858) [And see full
text]. http://medicolegal.tripod.com/tcpg.htm
The first priciple is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
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