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In order to be a true weirdo, a person
must say some of the stupidest things on the planet.
That's where these come in. They are a list of hundreds
of insanely stupid things to say. Read them and hopefully
pick up a few.
Stupid Sayings For The Wise Impaired
351. Sponges sometimes eat peoples hair.
352. If you chew off your finger nails, make them
pay rent first.
353. Yell "Ow! Im being beat up by a
kleenex!"
354. If someone is alive, they must not be dead.
355. Giant leaping frogs stole my barbeque.
356. Some stains can smile.
357. Warm weather comes when the bears release
the gas they’ve built up all winter.
358. If you write on a wall, make sure its really
dark so dead cows can see it.
359. Books with covers need to eat lots of
cheese.
360. My fried eggs were murdered by a massive
fork.
361. I ate five pickles that all said
"No."
362. If a plant grabs you and tries to kill you,
give it a dollar.
363. Yellow starts with a Y.
364. Evidence is the key to finding out where the
rotton egg smell comes from.
365. I super glued my buttocks together.
366. Some people glue their butt holes closed so
they cant blow gas.
367. The real reason people brush their hair is
so that the pencil men wont invade it.
368. If you stab a potatoe it will cry.
369. Lice comes from bald people.
370. Some people need to have pet pickles.
371. When the cows come home Im going to give
them five dollars.
372. When the fat lady sings I wont know because
Ill be wearing earplugs.
373. My sled went down the hill with my lunch.
374. My phone farted seven times.
375. My sandwich went on a donkey back ride. Then
the donkey went on a sandwich back ride.
376. If your pen runs out of ink, buy an onion.
377. Skeletons should drink rum.
378. If your loins are over flowing, build them a
dam.
379. There are secret caves in my nose. I call
them nostrils.
380. Some people scratch their arms.
381. Looney people need to buy broken shoes.
382. Dead carrots practice purple magic.
383. Some people burp up previously eaten food,
chew it for a while, and then swallow it.
384. Goats should be made of paper.
385. Eat my cheese and I might just look at my
fingers.
386. I like to look at wild moose and bear
pornography.
387. Dirty underware sometimes sing christmas
songs.
388. I demand that you lick the tag in the back
of my shirt.
389. I put some clothes on.
390. You can find little mole people living in my
loins.
391. See me in the shower and know youve seen a
gnome.
392. I dipped my toilet lid in mustard and ate
it.
393. Trees were made to hang dead monkeys in.
394. The fleas ate my cucumber.
395. A lone turd will blow up from lack of
friends.
396. Baskets were made to store oder in.
397. Yell "Poop on me!!!"
398. Frequently complain about how sorry you are
for flushing your poor little poop.
399. See the light and pee yourself.
400. I make electricity by rubbing my toes
together.
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