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In order to be a true weirdo, a person
must say some of the stupidest things on the planet.
That's where these come in. They are a list of hundreds
of insanely stupid things to say. Read them and hopefully
pick up a few.
Stupid Sayings For The Wise Impaired
251. Dump people wrap grasshoppers in
napkins.
252. Ventilation shafts are usually full of
migrating Asians.
253. Sometimes you just have to face the fact
that your cat left a stinky under your pillow.
254. If you look out at the tag in your underwear
it might say "make from recycled
depends"
255. Some peoples houses are invaded by rampaging
noodles.
256. Doors were not made to be opened. They were
made to be hugged.
257. If you agitate it, it will love you.
258. Im not having an affair with my kitchen
door.
259. Sentences can be made to sound useful.
260. Presidents like to touch naked objects in
cans.
261. Rocks make us smart.
262. Laughter kills pancakes.
263. Dogs and cats are nudists.
264. Burp and the nice bear will come and tickle
you.
265. Doors all over the world can harass you.
266. All of the bathrooms are being sued for
sexual harassment and invasion of privacy.
267. Pipes will run through water someday. With
legs.
268. If you chew for long enough youll get some
gum.
269. Clouds are alive and looking down the girls
shirts.
270. When playing softball yell "The poo nee
nee!"
271. Some food talks to you while you eat it.
272. Help save the bottom of the toilet. Donate a
turd.
273. Hickory Dickory Dock. The mouse ran up the
clock. The clock struck 1. Hickory Dickory
Dock. It struck him in the head. Hickory Dickory
Dock. The mouse fell unconsiously down the
clock.
274. Some people eat corn off the cob. I eat corn
off my toe.
275. People with weird laughs have tiny animals
living in their throats.
276. Some people treat their boogers like
children.
277. "I like rice" is an alternative to
saying "I like beans"
278. My geometry teacher has 5 wheat fields
growing on her legs.
279. Eat 15 burritoes. Dont use the bathroom for
5 days. Then you can make a sub-marine in
your toilet.
280. The Trojan War was really caused by a Greek
whose shoe was to small and a Trojan store
owner that wouldnt take it back.
281. Stop trying to smell my loins.
282. Rocks are wise in the ways of the hot dog.
283. If you pee on my rug you’ll leave a
stain.
284. My pants embarrased me so I dont wear them
anymore.
285. I vomit to give my floor color.
286. Elvis is living in my toilet plunger.
287. The fish in the river Styx are disobeying
the rules because they are alive.
288. I love you. Im a homicidal maniac to.
289. My ears sometimes tell me disturbing things.
290. My groin frequently tells me what time it
is.
291. If I talk for long enough I get mustard.
292. (Singing) I get so sad when my poopoo leaves
my side. I get so sad when my poopoo leaves
my side. I get so sad when my poopoo leaves me,
That I have to keep my poopoo in a plastic
baggie.
293. I sing songs about musical instruments that
steal the soap from your bathroom.
294. If you travel north for long enough, Santa
will arrest you.
295. If Santa runs out of food he’ll eat the
reindeer.
296. The easter bunny sexually harrasses people
while hes in their houses.
297. Santa should be sued for invasion of
privacy.
298. Matches are not made to play with. But do it
anyway. Its fun!
299. My pet cow ate my underwear.
300. Donkeys climb my wall and eat the hay that
grows in my hair.
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