1. Look for women in places that would attract the type
of woman you want to meet. It may sound like common sense, but if you do
not enjoy drinking or dancing, you probably will not meet a compatible
mate in a nightclub or bar.
If you are shy about meeting people, or there is not a
large lesbian community in your area, you might want to join a club or
take a class in something that interests you, preferably one geared toward
women.
2. If your city has a gay/lesbian community center, get
involved. GLBT community centers usually offer various classes and
activities. Pick one or a few that interest you and join in. By already
knowing most of the women you will meet there are gay, you will take some
of the frustration and guess-work out of trying to meet someone. Plus, if
you do meet someone through a class or activity there, you will already
have something in common with her to talk about and do together.
3. Get involved in online
lesbian communities. The Internet is full
of lesbian forums, message boards, discussion groups and blogs. Some are
location-specific while others are of a more global nature. Although it is
preferable to find an online group that serves your city or nearby towns,
many global groups might have members from your area.
4. Join an online
dating service, but before you do, make
sure the dating site has local lesbian members. Many online dating sites
serve the lesbian community but will not have many current members who
live near you. Always browse around first to make sure the site has local
active members who interest you before you commit to paying a fee for any
online dating service.
5. Be open to blind dating. Although the very concept
of blind dating is a turn-off to many people, keeping your options open
might just allow you to meet your ideal partner. If a friend offers to set
you up with someone, at least consider it before you say no. Ask a few
questions about the woman, and if she sounds compatible, give it a try. If
you are uncomfortable at the thought of sitting through a long date with
someone you might not click with, meet for coffee. If the two of you
connect, you can always make a dinner date for another night.
6. Befriend other lesbians. Making friends with other
lesbians, including lesbian couples, can be one of the best ways to better
your chances of meeting someone. By broadening your social network to
include other lesbians who have common interests, you will be connecting
with people who like to do the things you do and maybe even share the same
goals and views you do. A new friend might have a friend who would like to
meet you. Or, you just may turn a new friendship into a budding
relationship.
Try not to get discouraged. If it were easy to meet the
perfect person, there would not be so many single people eager to enroll
in online dating services. Gay or straight, finding that one person you
want to commit to a relationship with takes time and patience. Stay
committed to the search, and remember all you have to offer. Ms. Right
might be just around the corner, or she might live in the next town, but
you will never find her if you give up.
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