2. Search for common ground. Ask about her interests,
her job, what her goals are, and tell her about yours. The more you find
out you have in common, the more comfortable and relaxed you both with be,
and the more you will have to talk about.
3. Do not talk too much. In any conversation, you
should listen as much, or more, than you talk. Talking too much will make
you look self-absorbed or uninterested. If you tend to ramble when you are
nervous, asking questions can keep her talking and help you ramble less.
4. Do not interrupt. There are few things more rude
than continually interrupting someone while they are talking. If something
she says makes you think of something you want to say, make a mental note,
but wait to talk until she has finished what she is saying.
5. Try to be interesting. Even if your life is very
boring and you spend most of your evenings watching television, there has
to be something interesting about you. You have passions, hobbies, dreams
and goals. Focus on those things rather than on the boring aspects of your
job or personal life.
6. Stay positive. Never corrupt your first impression
with negativity. Do not complain about the slow service at the bar, and do
not criticize the appearance of the woman at the next table. Even if you
have a lot of horror stories about all the nuts who have responded to your
online dating ad, now is not the time to share those stories.
7. Avoid discussing past relationships. Even if you
have just broken up with someone, no one wants to hear about your ex,
especially when they have just met you.
8. Avoid controversial subjects. Unless religion or
politics are so important to you that you will not date someone whose
beliefs differ from your own, keep such topics out of the conversation.
Turning your first impression into a debate over opposing views could ruin
an otherwise pleasant evening and prevent her from wanting to pursue the
relationship.
9. Avoid seeming too needy. There are few bigger
turn-offs than getting into a relationship with someone who is clingy,
co-dependent or needy. Common traits of needy people include calling or
emailing too often, wanting to be together constantly, and relying on the
other person for a sense of identity. If you demonstrate signs of
neediness on your first date or introduction, she will most likely run the
other way.
10. Try to have fun. Although you might be nervous
meeting someone new, try to enjoy the process. Laugh, loosen up, and do
not take yourself too seriously.
The rules of
lesbian dating and first impression
making are not much different than the rules of platonic friendship. If
you are polite, keep a positive attitude, and allow the best aspects of
your personality to shine through, you will be opening the door for a
potentially satisfying relationship. If one date does not turn out to be a
winner, consider it a learning experience. Like everything else in life,
the more you practice, the more comfortable you will be for next time.
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