It is best to let a woman know on a first date, or even
before you meet in person for the first time, that you are a mom. Many
women simply do not like children, while others do not want to get
involved with someone whose young children live at home. While this fact
is unfortunate, it is best to find out as soon as possible how the woman
will react and what her feelings are about
dating someone with children. There is no
point in developing feelings for someone who might ultimately reject you
simply because you have kids.
2. Be honest with your kids. If your children are old
enough to understand, and your goal is to find a long-term relationship
with a woman, there is no good reason not to tell your kids you are
dating. You do not necessarily need to introduce your kids to every woman
you ever go on one date with, but hiding the fact that you are dating from
your children will only feel like a betrayal to your kids in the long run.
3. Dating other lesbian moms may be easier. If your
potential partner also has children, planning activities that involve the
kids will not feel like an infringement or imposition for either of you.
The kids will feel included, and you can learn earlier on whether or not
your kids will like her and her kids will like you. Introducing your kids
to hers, especially if both of your kids are the same ages, can also be
fun. Younger children particularly enjoy having new playmates.
4. If the woman you are dating is not a mom, introduce
her to the kids as soon as possible once both of you feel like the
relationship might have lasting potential. Many moms choose to wait months
to introduce the person they are dating to their children, and meanwhile
develop strong feelings and attachment in the relationship, only to find
out the kids and new woman are the incompatible factor which will
ultimately break up the relationship. If the goal is to eventually share
your life and even your home with someone, everyone has to get along or at
least be willing to try. Finding out the compatibility sooner rather than
later can save a lot of unnecessary heartache.
5. Allow for time to adjust. Lesbian relationships
involving kids are no different than heterosexual relationships where one
or both people have kids from a previous relationship. While young
children tend to adapt to a new person fairly quickly, older children,
especially teens, can take a while to adjust. Preteen and teenagers often
will seem to despise anyone you bring home, simply because they are
jealous of sharing your affection with another person.
A common fear of lesbian moms who date is what if the
kids get attached to a woman or her children, and then the relationship
ends. This is a concern of most dating moms, gay or straight. Although
such situations do happen and can be painful for everyone involved, this
is generally a risk that has to be taken in order to find lasting love.
There are no guarantees in any relationship, but with a little luck and a
lot of commitment, you can find happiness with a partner both you and your
kids will love.
For more information about lesbian dating read here:
