.....Skool. And Siberia. Actually, i'm talking about the same thing......

So i haven't posted in awhile. Things have been kinda crazy, so this is going to be the world's longest post. Mostly contributing to this was the amount of snow that the DC metro area has had. We had our first snow day the first week of school. There's something wrong with that. This is the second snowiest winter in DC/Metro area history. We've had a total of 40 inches. Now I know why people don't want to live in Siberia. Sooner or later, Russia is going to start exiling people to the mid-Atlantic states in the US. Also, there's skool. We started school a lot later than anyone else... actually it was a month ago today. I dropped one class this week, so i have 4 left. That's 13 credits. It used to be 16. But i didn't need the one i dropped, so it doesn't make that much of a difference. Anyway.

SPANISH. Not much to say. Four days of pure torture a week. It's Spanish 101 and 102 for people that had Spanish so long ago that they forgot how to spell Spanish. I am the whitest, least spanish person on earth, but i *did* manage to get 100 on my first spanish test. My class has some people that it doesn't kill me to talk to, and my prof isn't bad. Shes Chinese, which is a little weird, because she speaks Spanish and not Chinese. (I was going to make this huge long metaphor about it kinda being like a dog speaking, but that would have implied that my Spanish teacher is a dog, and she's really not. I just meant it in the way that its strange to see and hear. But anyway.) Hopefully i'll get thru this semester. Only one more semester of Spanish after this. :-)

PHILOSOPHY OF CONTEMPORARY MORAL ISSUES. This class is weird. It's all about the philosophical approach to life and death issues... animal rights, abortion, etc. It'd be a lot cooler if my professor wasn't the East Coast Evil Reincarnation of Dr. Satan. (A certain band director at IU that I would like to beat to death, or something equally as painful.) I have a whole list of reasons why he resembles Dr. Satan that I will have to post at a later date, cuz I don't feel like finding them right now. It's an interetsing class though.

SET DESIGN AND CONSTRUCTION. Back in the day, I used to do crew for theatre stuff... until I started doing pit orchestra. A friend recommended this class to me highly, so I decided to take it. Don't be scared, but.... they let me use POWER TOOLS. Not just like drills n stuff, but air powered nail guns, table saws, radial arm saws, and a whole bunch of other things that can rip limbs off. David, (i don't even remember what his last name is) the classroom professor, is funny. I actually enjoy lectures. Rick, the Scene Shop God, is the coolest guy EVER. In fact, I'm making him cookies just for being awesome. He's like, mid-40's and has two kids and is just an all-around nice guy. For example... there's this kid in my theatre class that resembles Ryan Oran. And we all know how much I enjoy people like that. So that's bad enough. And then I found out that he had signed up for 2 of the next three scene shop hours that I have to do. (you have to spend 20 hours building stuff. It's fun.) This is dangerous, because 1. i fear for my safety b/c this kid is stupid, and 2. I might kill him with a crowbar for being retarded. Or just drill screws into his eyes or something. Anyway, I was explaining to Laura my problem with this, (Laura is in my class, we went to HS together) and she was like, go talk to Rick. So i went and was like, "Rick, you're the nicest person in the world, but i'm sure that there has been one or two people in the past that you just want to lock in a closet somewhere and forget about them (by now, he was laughing.) Well, it just so happens that he keeps signing up for the same shop hours as me. I don't know what to do. I can't work with this kid, I might kill him." (by now i have him AND his grad assistant laughing.) So he promised to separate us to keep me from causing this kid bodily harm. Hey, it's not my fault. I only get really aggrivated with truly stupid people. Its not my fault he's stupid. Anyway, the only thing Rick has going against him is that he's a Hawkeye, and every time I wear my drumline jacket around him, he makes fun of me. Whatever.

THE HOLOCAUST. For those of you that don't know, World War 2 is my favorite history topic. It's one of the reasons that my history concentration is 20th century World history. The only problem with this class is... my professor is very knowledgable, but she says the SAME GODDAMNED THING EIGHTY FIVE THOUSAND TIMES. She repeats herself every other sentence. I feel kinda like i'm in a dryer... she gets thru 3 sentences, we all fall on our heads, and we go back to the same thing. We never get all the way around. It's infuriating. I take pages and pages of notes normally, but I only end up with a page or two out of a 50 minute lecture because that's all the new material she covers. I have learned some new stuff, its just been a VERY slow process.

So that's my school life. It actually keeps me fairly busy. So on to the next topic....

I AM 21 YEARS OLD NOW. scary, isn't it?

My 21st birthday was good and bad. Bad because I was SO SICK. I had the plague... it was a sinus infection and bronchitis all at the same time. They gave me an inhaler and everything. And I was hopped up on a lot of Dayquil and Nyquil, depending on the time of day. But it was a good day overall.
At midnight on tuesday, I went to Santa Fe to find some kids that I had been talking to but never met. The problem with this is that Tuesday is Dollar Bud nite, and the fe was PACKED. I almost didn't find them, but ended up running into them just before I left. They're awesome people, and I had a really good time. I only had 2 beers and a shot b/c I was planning on going to class the next day. So the next day I wake up and I felt HORRIBLE. I decided to forego my first two classes and only go to Spanish, becuase I couldnt stop coughing and such. So I finally got up and went to Spanish (my roomie, btw, decorated the whole apartment at like 4 in the morning. She gets MAD props for that. She also got me kickass margarita glasses.) So i got up and dragged myself to campus for my spanish class. I had to show her my excuse from the day before (I hadn't gone to class cuz the health center told me to go home and go to bed.) and my spanish professor heard me coughing and was like, Go home... the poing of this class is to SPEAK spanish, and you can barely talk. I actually got kicked out of Spanish class.... that hasn't happened since high school. Heh. So I went home and took a nap... then my mommy came and gave me presents and such. And then I went to the Fe for dinner and started my night.. Morgan and I got there around 645. I had a yummy dinner, which I could barely taste, and started drinking again. After dinner, we went to 94th Squadron (a townie bar on paint branch parkway) to hear Eva (one of Morgan's architecture friends... she has an incredible voice and is one of the nicest people I know) play at her first gig. She was awesome, and got booked at another club. So go her. And then we all went to Cornerstone to celebrate my birthday and Eva's happiness... there were a lot of drunk people by the end of the night, and I was DEFINITELY one of them. I did a total of 19 shots and drinks and such on my birthday. And I didn't even get sick!!!!!! Mad thanks to all of those who came out... Morgan and her friends were awesome. Thanks to Devon for coming to the Fe with us for dinner and almost getting us all arrested. (People were buying her alcoholic beverages since she was the only one that wasn't 21... we later found out that the group of middle aged guys at the table behind us were all plainclothes cops. Luckily, she had her back to them and they didn't see her.) Thank you to Julia for the gallon of bubble bath. Woot.

That's enough for tonight, I think. The next installment will be President's Day: Cadets and a Blizzard. I'm catching up, I swear!

Winter break in a nutshell.

If i were going to write a book about my marathon winter break (Dec 21 - Jan 28) it would be:

Turn Signals and Customer Service: The Lost Arts

I realize that some of you may think that this is an odd title, but it's entirely appropriate. For most of break, i've been back at Borders in Gaithersburg Square. For those of you that were unaware, I've worked there off and on for the last few years. I went back this winter to a rearranged store and 75% of the staff were people that I had never met. I met some good people, and got to chill with some of my old favorites. It was proven that once again that you cannot have a gorgeous, nice, AND intelligent male all in the same body. And if he posesses 2 of those 3 qualities, he is immediately NOT attracted to me Had some entertaining customers. "...theres this book... i think its called the art of lovemaking... the.... karmar sudda???" "...ma'am, do you mean the kama sutra?" "OH YEAH, thats it!" (is it just me, or the thought of her procreating is a little frightening.) and the ever-popular, "i listened to this and i dont like it... i want my money back." (are we a library?) and... true story...

KID: (looks about 15 or so, dressed in gburg wannabe-ghetto style) Do you have a copy of High Times that isn't wrapped?"?
(High times being a magazine dedicated to the smoking of marijuana)
ME: No, we keep them wrapped so that stoners will actually BUY the magazine, rather than sitting in here reading it and not paying for it.

I also told some girl that i would not want to interrupt her important cell phone conversation, so I would help her as soon as she was finished. But that wasn't quite as funny.

It amazes me that some people can be so RUDE. First of all, if you want a book. come in and get it yourself. I had some woman called in who wanted a book about Jello molds. Now we had several books on Jello, none of which was specifically ON Jello molds. I told her that much. She got all bitchy with me and could not comprehend the idea that we can't search by subject. (we really can't. if the subject, like jello, is not in the title, you're pretty much screwed. for instance, she's looking for jello, but if the book was called, "Food that dances when you poke it", you'd be SOL.) . I looked for her damn jello books and told her what was in them. She was HORRIBLE. Finally i got her to put one on hold. Then later, I happened to be at the cash register when the woman came to buy the book. She was one of those people that... when theres a line a mile and a half long... takes their damn time doing EVERYTHING. She didn't have her credit card ready, she was really rude... then, when I gave her the slip to sign, she held her hand out and I *literally* had to put the pen IN her hand so that she would sign it. Then, after she was done, she sloooooooooooooooooowly pulled out her gloves (with her bag and purse all over the counter) and sloooooooooooooowly started to put them on. Meanwhile there are only two cashiers (me and someone else) and theres a good 15 people in line. She tells the next guy, "go ahead" (she's still on the first glove) but of course, her stuff is everywhere, so he can't come up because I don't have room to ring him up. Sigh.

The point of all this? I try to provide the best customer service that I possibly can. It's not that difficult. You be nice to people, and essentially do your job and almost everyone is happy. You have a few people like the Jello lady that will never be happy no matter what, but for the most part, it gets the job done with minimal unhappiness.

And then there are the quality boys and girls that work in CVS. I'm not only talking about one specific CVS... i have yet to have a good experience at any CVS. The only reason I go back is because a. they have our insurance plan on file and b know exactly what i'm going to find there. The people that work there though... wow. Where do they find them? First, there are the lovely employees at the Gaithersburg Square CVS, which is a few doors down from the Borders that I worked at. I'd go in there for a diet Dr. Pepper and it would take 25 minutes of my half hour break to get out of there. The funny part of that is, there was only one person in line ahead of me, and they were most likely buying two candy bars and a bottle of shampoo. I have NEVER seen a group of employees move so slowly in my entire life. And then there was the infamous notebook search. Last semester, I got a notebook from CVS (just the spiral bound kind) that i LOVED. It wasn't anything too special, but the paper was really nice and it liked my handwriting, so all of my notes looked awesome. So i wanted another notebook just like it. First I went to Staples, then Office Depot. Neither of them had what I wanted. Then I remembered that i got it at CVS. First I checked the one next to Borders - they didn't have it. (that's probably a good thing, because if it was something as complicated as a notebook, i would probably STILL be there trying to buy it.) So I went to the one off of Knox Rd. They had the single subject ones, but no three subject ones. I did see the sign for them though. So i went to the guy behind the counter and said, "Excuse me sir, I was wondering if you had one of these notebooks (and I held up the single subject one) but with 3 subjects... this is the fourth store i've looked in, and you're the first ones to at least have a sign for them. I'd really appreciate it." I think that's nice and polite, right? His reply.... "Did you check over where the stationary stuff is?" Me: "Yeah, that's where I got this one, and saw the sign for the 3 subject ones. There just any out." His reply... "Then we probably don't have any." wait... PROBABLY????? Would it KILL you to get off your ass and go back and take a look? I was polite, respectful, and desperate. I asked nicely. If he had said, "I know for a fact that we don't have any." that would have been ok. but... PROBABLY?? jesus christ on a bicycle. If I treated any of our lovely borders customers like that, I would be fired on the spot. I have had similar experiences at the 24 hour Ghettobelt (ok, greenbelt) CVS, where its taken me 3 hours to get a prescription when it should have taken 20 minutes... and the reasons for that would cause sufficient hate mail, so i won't say it. Sigh. If only people would do their jobs. There are other places whose employees could use a few classes in Starbux skool, specifically the customer service classes, but the CVS morons were the first that came to mind.

Now i'm sure you're wondering about the turn signal part. I live in College Park. I worked in Gaithersburg. This means that depending on what time I had to be at work, I had anywhere from a 20 minute commute to a hour and five minute commute. So I have spent a great deal of time in my car over the past few weeks, where I have observed the following:

NO ONE USES THEIR TURN SIGNALS ANYMORE.

Of course, there are laws governing the use of turn signals. Basically, if there's no one behind you, you don't need to use it. However, when 495 is packed and traffic is moving anywhere between 10 and 70 MPH, USE YOUR DAMNED TURN SIGNAL. This goes for any other road or highway too. The worst part is... ever since my accident, i've become increasingly anxious when i'm driving. Cars that cut me off, swerve, etc. tend to make me hella nervous, because I'm afraid they're going to hit me. So when a car cuts over 3 lanes of traffic... cutting off several cars... without using their turn signal... I start freaking out. Especially when the next car in line to be cut off by such assholes is going to be me. The worst is the assholes that think that by weaving their way through traffic, they're going to get to their destination much faster by cutting off everyone else on the road. And of course, they don't bother to use their turn signal, or they turn it on when they're halfway into the other lane. You might as well not use it at all if you're going to be like that. Also on my list of people that piss me off are the people that see that you've had your turn signal on for an eternity... for example, if you need to get over so you won't miss your exit... and the person takes great pleasure in NOT letting you over. The ones that speed up and purposely ride right next to you, pointing and laughing as you make faces and curse them. Ok, maybe they're not actually pointing and laughing (although i can tell you that the making faces and cursing is correct) but they might as well be. What pleasure do they actually get from this? I don't think theres anything in the psych books as far as people with Sadistic Driving Syndrome, but I really think they should look into it.

So there you have it, folks. I guess my winter break book would be more like a public service announcement, but if it gets the point across, so be it. I would just have to make the disclaimer that 1. You must use your turn signal when driving to and from the place where you purchase the book, 2. the people that sell the book must do so in a courteous and friendly manner, and 3. when buying the book, treat the bookseller or whoever with respect. The world would be a much better place.

........Blogging Orgy........

Ok boys and girls. While I was in bloomington, I got a fair amount of blogging done. (mostly at the airport.... yay for laptops.) so i've posted 2 very long blogs, and have a third one coming. I'm still trying to remember how to do the skool thing, but hopefully I'll have part 3 posted by tomorrow nite. Enjoy.

........Bloomington love........

So a week and a half before classes begin again, one Friday night, I got a drunken phone call from John Pinizzotto, (known to some as Random) Sarah McKinley, and Emily Hill, who are three of my favorite people on earth. They left me this crazy phone message about how much they miss me and such... and after they hung up, I was crying within like, five minutes. I had been planning on driving out to Bloomington, but since the insurance company that owes me money seems to work slower than the previously blogged-about CVS workers, I don't have a car that would make the trip easily. Well, a couple phone calls to my parents and some online flight-fare-checking later, I had plane tickets to Bloomington from Tuesday the 21st to Monday the 27th. So, after enduring three torturous work days, I was on my way to the airport.

Emily and Sarah let me stay at their house, which was incredibly nice of them. I got in Tuesday night, where I went to Emily's brother's house to watch the second half of the IU/Illinois game. (IU won. Go Hoosiers!) Not only did we win, but Matt, a friend of Em's brother, made some amazing meatballs. They were full of garlic, but that didn't make them any less amazing... I just didn't need to worry about vampires for the next several days. For the next several days, I mostly hung out. Wednesday, I went shopping with Emily... she actually bought a pair of jeans! (actually, she bought two. After trying on about 12. But i'm proud of her... I almost didn't recognize her without her warmup pants and hoodie.) We were running other errands when Ozzy called... he and Mike wanted KFC. So we went to pick them up. They were all psyched for KFC. Heh... too bad it was closed for remodeling. So then we drove around for awhile while Ozzy lamented over the fried chicken he couldn't get. We decided to go to Mr D's, because they have fried chicken. While we were there, Emily and I decided that we wanted Panera, so we ended up leaving Mr. D's and going there instead. I actually had a really good time, for those of you who were wondering. I won't elaborate any further, but that lunch couldn't have gone better. So that made me happy. Wednesday night, I went out to dinner with Ryan, which was awesome. I miss him. Thursday, I went to Starbux and then class with John. I had such a good time... we ran into Kirstee and Brian Skillman in Starbux, and then when i went to class with John (hist. of the roman civilization) I made cartoons and such out of the lecture. Way later that night, I went to Steak n Shake with Jess.... wow did i miss their milkshakes. :-) Friday and Saturday were fairly uneventful as well. I went over to Ryan, Tom, and Neil's house on Saturday night. It was just like hanging out in Tom's room again, only without playing Risk, Lindz style. (I have my own distinct set of rules that evolved from several games where I was not exactly sober.) I did see Death To Smoochy, which was hella funny. and Wild Things, which could be considered HBO grade porn. (that was the boy's choice.) Ang was cool and came to rescue me and add a little more estrogen to the group. Sunday... on my list of things I would miss about Bloomington, the Superbowl party was definitely on there somewhere. We didn't get any strippers this year, (not a bad thing, considering the quality of strippers past... including the guy that left his socks on.) but we did the hour of power and then some. By halftime, almost everyone in the house was drunk, so it was an excellent time. Emily and i left before the game was over, stopped by Mandy and Brian's house, then Mandy drove us to Cowboy's house, where we hung out for awhile until going home. Perhaps one of the funniest mornings was this morning (Monday) ...I had checked the shuttle schedule Sunday night after I came home and was a lil bit inebriated. I thought the shuttle left at 12, so I figured I could sleep til 1030, and be packed and such in plenty of time. Well when I woke up at 1015 this morning, the shuttle webpage was still up, and I don't know what made me double check... but it turns out that the shuttle was going to leave the union at 1050 and leave McNutt (its a dorm. I swear.) at 1105. This created problem, esp. since I hadn't packed or showered yet. So by some miracle, I managed to be showered, packed, and ready, and Sarah drove me to McNutt with about 3 minute to spare. So the shuttle comes, and in past years, I've always paid by check. So I pull out my checkbook, but he says that they only take credit cards and cash now. Since I didn't have any cash on me, I had to opt for the credit card... but the very nice elderly man who was driving was slightly technology deficient and couldn't figure out how to get the thing to take my card. Great. So he let me stay on... and then when we stopped at the hotel, I had to run next door to the gas station and use the ATM. (which is a lot harder than it sounds, considering I had to go down the icy driveway, into the gas station, and then back the icy driveway.) but I got the money, so I eventually got to the airport. On the bright side of things, if I had been in Maryland, the guy probably wouldn't have let me stay on the shuttle and let me go get cash. That's one of the many things I love and miss about the midwest.
That's about it, I guess. It doesn't sound too exciting, but all in all, it was a fantabulous trip. It was just really nice to be back and hang out with the people I miss. :::happy content sigh:::

Various Thank Yous and Happy Thoughts go to the Following People:
Side note: some of these people may never read this, but I didn't want anyone to be able to say that I didn't give them credit/thanks when they deserved it. So, here ya go.
Emily: Thank you for picking me up from the airport, putting up with me and all my stuff for a week, offering your bed (although you might have been to drunk to remember that) taking me to get coffee, and everything else you did. There isn't enough room on this website to thank you adequately, so thank you to the millionth power. Yer the bestest and I love you.
Sarah: Same goes to you, girl. You and Emily are on my permanant happy list for letting me stay with you for as long as I did, and for driving me around to random places, etc. etc. etc. And as far as the West Point boy goes... if he doesn't realize how lucky he is, then forget about him. At least you got a free trip to New York. ;-) You are also the bestest and I love you as well.
Ryan: It was sooooo nice to get a chance to talk to you. I'm sorry that I didn't come over on Thursday nite, but like I said... there were extenuating circumstances. ::::::HUGE HUG:::::: I luv you.
Tom: I wish I had gotten to chill more with you... I'm glad we got to hang out for a little while though. I miss you... at least we got to get drunk together.
John: I had almost forgot how much fun it is to hang out with you... thank you for putting up with me and taking me to your class and letting me goof off and going with me to lunch and starbux and watching 10 Things I Hate About You and for not putting Sarah's car in neutral on third street while i'm driving. wait, scratch that last one off the list. Regardless, i miss you a lot.
The Boys at 322: The Superbowl party was terrific... thank you for providing the means for my third straight Superbowl Sunday where I was too drunk to watch the game. The Hour of Power music was especially nice. Thanks again.
Mandy: It was soooooooooooooooooooooo nice to see you again. I wish i had gotten to know you better while I lived in Bloomington, but it's still fun to hang out when we get a chance.
Kevin: I wish I had gotten to see you more... you know I think you're cool, so I won't say much more. Some day you should come to Maryland and visit... it'd be an excellent time.
Cowboy: Muchas gracias for letting us come over. Your house is always fun.

........Politix........

Good Grief. Does North Korea think we're stupid?
From CNN:
"The government of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea in a statement today declared its withdrawal from the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) and its total freedom from the binding force of the safeguards accord with the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA)," the official KCNA news agency said.

Also from CNN:
But the secretive communist state said it has no intention of developing nuclear weapons, despite the pullout.

That's got to be one of the most suspect things I've ever heard. And at the same time, "there's no smoking gun" in Saudi Arabia, yet we're getting all ready to bomb the shit out of them. I think we need to go to Korea and see whats up there.
Oh wait, we only go to war for no reason right now. Or at least it seems that way.
In other news, a man in Maryland was convicted of rape and has served 20 years in jail... for a crime that he didn't commit. How much would that suck? They're giving him 900,000 over the next 10 years. He deserves it, and I wish they were giving him more.

Happy New Year, i guess. I haven't blogged in awhile. I've been crazy busy. But i'm angry and I can't sleep, so hopefully this will make me feel better or make me tired. Or both. In an effort to explain the last few weeks, and the random things that happened since my last blog, i will chronologically list the reasons why i have been too busy to blog.

REASON #1... I had to go out and buy KY jelly for finals week.
Originally, i had planned on vaseline, but someone told me that ky jelly is water based and makes much less of a mess.
Some of you may be confused. I needed the KY jelly for finals week, where repeatedly bent over and took it up the ass. Like South African History. My personal favorite. Apparently my teacher left the weekend after my accident to go to south africa. and he WASNT COMING BACK. So we had no study guide for the final. NO clue what was going to be on it. And we had to write this 6-8 page paper. So i figure, i'll do it the night before... and when i get online in McKeldin to do it? I look up the website that the document is on (the one that the paper is on..) and it is TWO THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY NINE PAGES LONG. Jesus Tapdancing Christ. Somehow I finished that, took the exam, (which had the most interesting, random questions on it) and found out today that i got an A- in the class. Not bad, but extraoridnarily stressful. Then there was my english class.. i had to finish a 10 page paper and do a 3 page take home exam. I was working on this for every second that I wasn't studying. Then there was my US history class... which was a LOT of fun to study for, since I had barely been to class for that entire unit. And my math class... ::shudder:: what kind of teacher offers you an incomplete, and then gets mad at you when you take it? Needless to say, Saturday the 21st was the happiest day ever. I spent most of the 22nd sleeping.
REASON #2:
Finally school was over. I finished on Saturday, slept on Sunday, (and on the 7th day, He rested... and i was passed the fuck out.) and went to work on Monday. Work being Borders... because i'm masochistic, and I missed my discount. I worked Monday and Tuesday (Tuesday being Christmas Eve) and then had the family over on Wednesday for
REASON #4: Christmas. Wanna hear a funny story about Christmas? Sure you do!
So every year, my Aunt Hazel has given everyone in our family fifty dollars for christmas. This year was no exception, her big stack of envelopes was under the tree. So someone handed them out for her. My aunt Hazel is... 89? and is almost completely deaf. She wears a hearing aide, but it just starts squealing for no apparent reason if she turns it up... so she cant hear shit. Anyway, my sister comes over to me, and says look at your present from aunt hazel. so i do... and theres NOTHING IN THE ENVELOPE. I turn to my cousin, and i tell him to look in his. Nothing. We start cracking up... he turns to me and says, so do i have to write a thank you note for this?? So we trade jokes for awhile. My dad is glaring at me for not sharing the joke, so i go and tell him... he checks HIS envelope and cracks up. So that's four of us with no money. We start wondering if maybe she put everything in one envelope, so we watch everyone else open theirs. My Uncle Chip opened it, checked it like four times, shrugged, and put it in his pocket. My Uncle Terry was the best though. He had this weird look on his face... he kept turning the envelope upside down and shaking it. So by now, the whole family is hysterical. You'd think that my aunt hazel would catch on, right? Nope. She just figures it's another joke that she didn't hear, so she just smiled and nodded, which is even funnier.
Eventually we let my grandmother in on the secret, and she eventually told my aunt that she might have forgotten to put the money in. She promised she'd send the money out... i still haven't seen it. But the entertainment was enough of a christmas present for me.
and for those of you that were wondering... unlike Thanksgiving, i did NOT get drunk and pass out for 3 hours.
anyway, as an extention of the Christmas festivities, Thursday we went out with my aunt, uncle and cousin. We came to my apartment (they wanted to see it) and then we went down to the ESPN zone. This is a yearly tradidion, and it's also a very good time. I kicked ass in basketball.. i won 2 of the 3 times. They have this neato bowling that uses bowling balls that are only like 6ish inches in diameter, and i can bowl really well with them. The food was not as good as it has been in recent years, but what can you do about that... it's not the food that you go for. And then, to further the tradition, we went to the Mormon Temple to see the Christmas lights. This was quite possibly the funniest thing that has happened all of break. We get out of the car and start walking around. (for those of you not from the DC area, the Mormon Church has more money than god, and they use some of it to put up retarded amounts of christmas lights on the grounds of the temple. It's really pretty. I should also point out that my grandmother and my aunt and uncle are all very Christian. And we all know my family is NOT.) This year, they have a live nativity scene. It's pretty ghetto, and Joseph is wearing gloves because it's cold. I'm just watching, and all of the sudden, my sister pokes me and whispers:
"JOSEPH IS LOOKING AT MARY'S ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!"
keep in mind that we're surrounded by mormons and other very christian people, including my relatives. i proceed to die laughing, because it really did look like he was checking her out. so then, Joseph reaches out to grab the baby Jesus out of the manger and Devon pokes me again.
"HE TOUCHED HER ASS!!!! HE TOUCHED HER ASS!!!!!!"
By this point, i'm crying... partly because i'm laughing, and partly because i have to pee so badly. I didn't think that i could use the bathrooms in the church, because you arent't allowed in if you're not Mormon. (what, do they have little badges? little bar codes tattooed to your ass that they scan on the way in? how can they tell?) They think you'll contaminate the sacred something. Anyway, we realize that there is a visitor's building and people are going in, so we go. I realized once I got to the doors (which were propped open by LDS children, with their little badges that they wear door-to-door) that this was going to be a huge mistake, so i lowered my head and ran to the bathroom so that I wouldn't be stopped and be asked to join The Church. And then i ran back out again, therefore losing the rest of my family. So i go back to the car, where my dad is sitting. We're later joined by devon and jon (my cousin) who inform us that my grandmother and his mom and dad were kidnapped by some mormon guy who told them that they had a Mormon Movie. (really, it was something like that.) but the other reason they left is because of this conversation:
My grandmother: I read somewhere that you have 35 different nativity scenes from different countries, is this true?
Scary Mormon guy: No, we have 48 different nativity scenes from 35 differnt countries.
Jon: (mimicking my grandmother) OH NO! How could i forget something like that?
At this point, he and devon CRACK up, and they get the Death Look from his mom, so they're forced to take refuge in the car with my father and I. We have a great time making fun of everything... in the cold, because even though he knew my dad was staying in the car, my uncle took the keys to the mini van with him. The moral of this story? Don't hang out with my family if you're at all religous... or serious.
To Be Continued...

Ok. So that was the world's longest nap.... shoot me. But now i'll continue my story, mostly because people keep bitching at me. (Don't get me wrong. Keep bitching. Its nice know that people read this. In fact, bitch more, please.) So... Shady Grove Hospital. My dad was nice enough to take me to Starbucks on my way to the hospital, mostly because I hadn't eaten or drank anything yet that day, and my mom told me not to eat anything in case they wanted to run tests. So coffee seemed like a logical option.I get there with my dad and my mom is already there, warning them that i'm coming. As soon as we get there, my dad starts acting like the 14-year old adolescent that he is. It keeps me entertained until they finally call my name. They eventually took me to the MICU, the minor injuries something something. I'm like hey. Its not like i have a sore throat. They told me that I could stand on my own and i wasn't bleeding or dying, so i got put here.
They make me put on that cute lil gown, but at least i got to kinda lie down, which was way more comfortable than standing or sitting up. My ribs, neck, and back were all killing me at this point. They brought in a hot PA, and he prescribed me some vicadin. YAY VICADIN. Eventually they even brought it to me. They also wanted mad xrays. At this point, my dad has to go bac to work, and he leaves me. So i take the vicadin and wait for the xray tech. In the meantime, I was listening to the conversation of the guy in the next curtain. It went something like this...
Hot PA: so whats wrong?
guy: my thoat hurts
hot pa: say "aah" ....well, you've got some pretty big tonsils. Ever had strep before? (at this point, my mom and i look at each other, because if someone SAYS the word strep around me, i get it.)
guy: yeah.
hot pa: here's a prescription for some penicillin. do you have a primary health care provider?
guy: no
hot pa: i see.... bunch of boring stuff... anything else you want me to take a look at while i'm here?
guy: well, yeah. see.... it hurts when i pee. and when im not, i get this drippng something something something... (i dont hear the rest of that sentence because i've put my fingers in my ears and started humming the theme song to the Smurfs)
hot pa: have you changed sex partners recently?
guy: yeah, i've had a few different ones
hot pa: well, have you ever had an std before?
guy: yeah.... gonnareha. (at this point, i break out with EEEEEEWWWWWWWW)
hot pa: well, i'm guessing that's it. but we'll do a test to make sure.

At this point, i see him leave... and then come back with a Very Large Qtip.

By now, i don't know whether ot be completely grossed out or laugh my ass off... the 2 vicadin they brought me have kicked in, PLUS the venti latte that my dad got me. I'm a Very Happy Camper by this point. So my mom and i are cracking up as the hot pa sticks that qtip in a very uncomfortable place for that guy. It's around this time that i notice that my hand and my forearm are Blue. Like, dead-smurf blue. The hot PA comes in to check on me (hopefully he washed his hands first) and is like... um... your arm is blue. I tell him that i've realized this. He kinda looks at it, but doesn't really do anything. we wait awhile longer, and then the xray tech comes in. She comes around to kick the wheels so that my bed will move and stops. "Um.... your arm is blue." I say yes. I know this. "why is your arm blue?" ....if i knew this, i'd charge my insurance company 10,000 for my own diagnosis and go home. So she says that she's going to go find someone. I could hear her talking to the nurses: "Her arm is this really bizarre blue color..." Well that makes me feel great. My arm is bizarre. She takes me for the xrays anyway, and we've only been waiting for these for about an hour and a half... and we come back and wait for the results.

While i was gone, they replaced the STD guy with some other guy and his two buddies. Apparently, this guy works at a quarry... you know how you used to put ketchup packets under peoples tires so that when they moved, the packets would explode? Well, the same thing happened to his finger, and half the stuff that was supposed to be in this guy's finger shot out the tip. EEEWW. Apparently it wasn't too bad, he just needed a few stitches. But first of all, he was TERRIFIED of anything they were gonna do to him. I've seen five year olds with more bravery. And second, he and his friends had to be some of the biggest stoners ever. It was kinda like... i dunno. But the one on the bed kept passing large, loud amounts of gas, and they'd all crack up with stoner laughs. It was like being next to three 10 year old. Not a very brave 10 year old, at that. Eventually, they came and told me that i hadn't broken anything, and that I'd be hella sore, but I could go home. An hour and 15 minutes later, we actually got to leave. I spent the next 3 days on my couch, with lots and lots of vicanin.
The End.
As a later addition to this story... I thought that the car could get some stuff done and it would be ok. nope. my car is totaled. dead. a moment of silence, please.

the rest of my break...
Wednesday was by far the best day of my break. Even tho it wasn't really break, because I still had one class. Anyway... why, you ask? Well.. John Random Pinizzotto decided to grace the DC/Metro area with his presence for the Thanksgiving weekend, and even better, decided to visit ME on Wednesday!!! I forgot how much I love hanging out with him. We went to Chipotle (I think i created another Chipotle fan) and to the one class i had, and then spent an hour and a half fighting traffic, and then to my house, and then I dropped him off at the metro station. I had an awesome time just hanging out with him. So yeah... that was my happy day.

Friday wasn't too bad either. It mostly consisted of errands with my dad. But not just any errands. We went CAR SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!! Car shopping makes me happy. I'm so excited... i'm definitely getting a Ford Explorer. Mostly to use on the pedestrians on campus. ::::does the happy new car dance::::

Saturday and Sunday were uneventful. I went back to CP on friday nite and spent most of the weekend sleeping. That's ok, because I like sleep.

Monday sucked monkey balls. I overslept and didnt wake up until 945, (i hate that 945 means i OVERslept) and so i missed class. Then, I was driving to work.. everything was cool... stopped at the light at Berwyn Road (right by the carwash) and the next thing I know, some chick decided to rear-end my car. First of all, it hurt like hell. Second, my car wouldnt start, and we were in the middle of route 1. So i called the police, and then I called my dad, because it was his car. (i was in the taurus) The UMD police came and the officer and some other guy pushed my car into the carwash lot... my poor car. It's gonna need a new back door, bumper, lights, work on the quarter panels, and new stuff on the inside too. So my dad came and got the car towed away, and I was already hurTing, so after we got that taken care of, he took me to Shady Grove. (thats a hospital, for all you non-maryland people) The ambulance came, but they were just gonna take me to PG county hospital, which is hella ghetto, so I decided to just let my dad take me. Anyway, the hospital is a whole different story... which I will tell after my nap.

Thanksgiving..... Turkey Day Craziness Thanksgiving started out like any other holiday at my house... with the mad rush to do the last minute cleaning, and trying to get in the shower before my dad thinks up some other last-minute thing for me to do. Finally I get to shower, and then get to go back downstairs to do more cleaning. Everyone is supposed to be there at one, so my dad wakes me up at eleven to do three hours worth of cleaning in two hours, PLUS try and take the aforementioned shower. So the first relative arrives at 12:45 and the day begins.

Dinner consists of my grandma and her two sisters, all of whom are over 80 years old, my dad's cousin Chip, and our family. My grandma is deaf but won't admit it, my Aunt Hazel wears her hearing aide but its never turned up high enough and always makes this high-pitched beeping sound... so we all have to shout at both of them. (My Aunt, if she doesnt hear, will just sit quietly and nod. My grandma, on the other hand, interjects with a loud "HUH?" to anything she doesnt hear... which is almost everything.) My other aunt, my Aunt Be, can be one of two people: nice, appreciative Be, or Nasty Bitchy Be. This year, Nasty Bitchy Be chose to make her appearance. Don't get me wrong, I love her, and she's great to me. But she gets on my grandmothers case whenever she can, and this makes for interesting family politics. Anyway, my family ran to the mini-bar we set up and proceeded to make them all Manhattans (whiskey, vermouth and a cherry) which is the Family Cocktail. This way, they get a little mellowed out. I personally had 6 of these to get me through the day. My grandmother must have taken a cue from me, cuz the meaner my Aunt Be got, the more my grandmother drank... so my grandma was SHTFACED by dinner. You have to love my family... my Aunt Be was screaming at my grandma, my grandma kept getting more drunk, my Aunt Hazel was just smiling and nodding, Chip is trying to mediate, and my family is in the kitchen laughing our asses off at the group of them. The Kelly family (Mauras biological family and my surrogate family) was kind enough to stop by before they left for their thanksgiving dinner, so we were granted a repreive. Even still, that didn't stop grandma from being drunk.

Heres how one convo actually went:
Aunt Be: Evelyn, (my grandma) do you remember This Woman, who lived on Some Street that No One has Ever Heard of?
Evelyn: :::takes sip of drink:: Sure, This Woman's sister was Bullah, and blah blah blah... :::takes another sip:::
Aunt Be: No, Evelyn, you are WRONG. That is NOT HER SISTER. Bullah was related to :::insert peoples names here::: Hazel, do YOU remember This Woman, who lived on Some Street that No One has Ever Heard of? (that last sentence is repeated 4 different times, each time being exponentially louder than the first in hopes that Hazel will finally hear her)
Hazel: (who, up until she had finally heard her name, had been smiling and nodding) Sure, I remember This Woman, who lived on Some Street that No One has Ever Heard of, she was Bullah's sister.
At this point, this is where MY immediate family runs into the kitchen to laugh or asses off and drink more.

Dinner was AMAZING. Mad mad mad mad mad thanks to my mom to cooking... I ate more than I had eaten in the last three months combined. Thats what happens when most of my favorite foods are on one table. I didn't have any turkey tho. Unfortunately, the six Manhattans that I had before dinner kicked in and as soon as I put down my fork for the last time, I wandered upstairs to my bed and fell asleep for 3 hours. :-)
After I woke up, Maura was back from her thanksgiving, so she came over. So did Matt and Lolita, so it was like all of my parents' surrogate children were in the same house. We ate more leftovers and hung out.The aunts had left, and my grandma and Chip left soon after. It was a good time tho, esp. after we brought out the White Russians. That was my thanksgiving... hopefully, with the exception of the yummy food, it doesnt resemble anyone else's. My family should be in a National Study of Dysfunctional Families. In fact, we could be the poster family for the study.

I have found my calling in life.

I am going to be the next Shabby Chic lady.

For those of you that don't know what Shabby Chic is, it's a decorating theme made up by some nutcase - excuse me, nice lady - so that people with no taste can pretend that they have some, when in fact they're only making things worse.

First, i have to aquire a foreign accent. This lends me credibility.

Second, I have to write a book. I think i'm going to call my designs Blind N Stupid, after the people that are going to be listening to me. During this process, i'm going to have to choose my color themes. SC uses pale green and white that looks ten thousand years old, and everything is supposed to be simple and inexpensive. (actually, it looks like someone went shopping in a dumpster and only found green and white stuff.) I think i'm going for floruescent pink and baby poop brown, and everything has to be brand new and include glitter and cost more than what my kidneys would be worth on the black market.

Then, after i make millions of dollars from my book, i'm going to have my own tv show (this is where the accent comes in handy) where people watch me do my so-called job. The cameras will follow me around while i go shopping and it will explain how amazingly beautiful some of my findings are - like the giant statue of Your Mom sculpted out of pink playdough.And of course, its pink, so it can go ANYWHERE in the house. I think i'm going to put it in the bedroom, where Your Mom is most of the time anyway.

This is what i was meant to do with the rest of my life.

Alright. The bloomington and job postings i promised. I've procrastinated long enough.

bloomington in one word: phenominal.

A few words to some people that deserve them:
Emily and Sarah: Thank you both for being amazing, picking me up at the airport, letting me pretty much live at your house for three days, etc. Emily, thank you for letting me drive your car, letting me drag you to starbucks, and i'm sorry for almost blowing up the diet dr. pepper in your fridge. You guys are two of the coolest people ever, and I don't have the words to tell you how much I appreciate everything you guys did for me this weekend.

Jack: thanks for driving me to the airport, and letting me have the pleasure of watching you get faced on saturday night. few people are more entertaining when they're drunk. :-) when am i getting my engagement ring?
Ang: i only got a chance to see you for like 10 minutes.... sorry i didnt get a chance to spend more time with you. you would have been a stellar roomie :-)
Tom: You can't escape me... yer one of my favorite people *ever*.... no matter what. Be careful of the breadstick fairy, and if you get a chance, steal some more silverware for me.
John: See you in a week!
Jess: i miss you!!!!! i hope everything works out... and i'm around if you need me.
Ryan: i could never be mad at you. i'm just psychotic. ;-) and i create drama wherever i go.
Kev: thanks for coming over to emily's... bloomington wouldnt be the same without hearing you giggle at least once. ;-)
Fudge: Thanks for listening to my drunk ass. :-)
Nick: I wish you had been around last year so that I could get to know you better... but thats why they invented aim. :-)
Jess V: Sometime i'm coming to bloomington for the sole purpose of us drinking together again. it WILL happen.
Natasha and Jill: I wish i had gotten to see you guys... i kept my room messy JUST so youd have something to make fun of me for. You'd be so proud of the way it looked, and i was only there for two days!

I think that's about it. My stay in bloomington consisted of: sleeping at 414 but practically living at emily and sarah's anyway, trying to see as many people as possible, 2 parties, 1 night of being pretty shitfaced, drama within 6 hours of my plane touching down, getting to see the drumline, (you guys are amazing!) stealing flatware from fazoli's, (and getting visited by the breadstick fairy...) getting to see the starbucks people, etc. I can't thank everyone enough for such a good weekend. I thought i'd be more sad when i left, but i'm ok... I know that I can always go back and visit. I love you guys. :-)

My new job.
I needed a way to get out of my apartment. I haven't found anything to get involved in yet, so I finally convinced my parents that my grades would not suffer if i got a job. (they're just suffereing cuz i'm a bad person. but whatever.) So i got a call on monday from the MD book exchange (for you IU kids, thats the UMD equivalent of TIS) I went for my interview on Tuesday and got hired immediately. There are Nike factory workers that make more than i do, but thats not the point... i'm getting out of the house and doing something productive. The people i work with seem pretty cool... my boss is an interesting lady though. We'll see what happens with this.

Huge sigh. I know, i know. I'm way behind in my blogging. I went to bloomington... got a job... and i haven't written about any of it. We can just add that to the list of things that I haven't done lately. I used to be a good, motivated kid. I swear. I used to do things... like go to school, and do schoolwork. Sure, I may have not had a 100% track record like some of the perfect people I know, but i did *some* things. Now it's different. I can't find a reason. I wish that it were because I'm lazy, but i really don't think that's it. Lazy implies that you don't care about the consequences. I DO care about the consequences though. So much that I get stressed out until i'm physcially sick. And yet, I still opt for the extra few hours of sleep instead of going to class, or something to that effect. I've boiled it down to one simple conclusion: i'm a bad person. Maybe someone should have gotten rid of me a long time ago, cuz we all know that I can't do anything right on my own.

you know, i spend an awful lot of time amusing people on this thing. but tonite, i'm really not in the mood to be amusing. something happened tonite that reminded me of the way i felt in middle school. which really isn't cool. i always thought that everyone should just be home schooled instead of going to middle school. or at the very least, get a middle-school-shaped cookie cutter and just erase that part of peoples lives. with shock therapy or something, like in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. (which i have actually lived, by the way. not the electro shock part, but the cuckoo's nest part. ask me about it sometime) anyway... i was reminded of the person i was then. and its made me think. i know you can't relive the past, but id kinda like to, just for a little while. and there are certain people that id LOVE to tell them exactly what i think of them. (i have a lot of unresolved elementary school anger) then.. middle school? sigh. i'd love to be able to say that i've some so far since then... but tonight, i felt just as belittled as i did back then. by the same people. and in high school... i have a lot of unresolved issues from high school too. i remember now why i wanted to go so far away from here... and start over. but then, in college, i kinda got the same thing, just in a different way. and i didn't really know about it until later. (if you have no idea what i'm talking about, then i'm sorry... i'm not allowed to elaborate further. but if you do, then... well, you do.) and maybe i had almost gotten past that... and then i left it all behind, only to come back here and subject myself to all of the things that i wanted to turn my back on. its more than not having any friends here at UMD. (if you're one of the like, 5 people in college park that i love, please do not take offense to this) i didn't know anyone when i started at IU, but thats different now. it's more about facing the things that i did wrong... that i wasn't strong enough, or good enough, to deal with before. when i was at IU, they didn't matter. i had a whole new set of problems to face. so now i have to face both, at the same time. and my beautiful little safety net of friends at IU that were around to catch me are 600 miles away. i have a net here... its just really small, and i keep falling on the same few people over and over. sooner or later they're going to break, and i'm going to crack my head open on the pavement, just like my mother always told me i was going to do if i rode my bike without a helmet. ya know, it was just kinda pointed out to me... it takes fairly decent sized balls to post something like this for almost anyone to see. not that a lot of people read this. but they could. great. just what i always wanted. balls. maybe i can trade them in to some needy male for a spare net.

that's ok. get involved with yourself
then take long baths
take long walks
get something pierced
~some very good advice from one of my favorite people :-)

i had a revelation yesterday. small spiral notebook with me during class = 24 hour blogging, just with periodic computoral updates (yes, computoral is a word) i always used to think of things in class, but by the time i got home, id be so tired or whatever that i'd forget. now i won't, and you'll be able to enjoy more of my commentary. do you remember when we were in kindergarten, they told us to sit Indian style? Now they sit "cross legged" ...i don't think that legged is a word. apparently "indian style" isn't exactly a PC term. well first of all, when you're in kindergarten, you just think its a word. you don't really identify it as a racial term thats not ok to use anymore. and furthermore, its a compliment... indian style is definitely the most comfy way to sit. i was sitting outside Speaking of sitting... do you know how hard it is to walk across the mall with one leg and half of your ass asleep? I don't, but i heard someone say that outside of my history class today. i thought it was worth mentioning. but speaking of walking across the mall... i was walking to the aforementioned history class when i passed a frat boy that was making the weirdest noises.... so of course, i looked at him funny. and he gave me a dirty look. dude, if you wanna make noises go ahead, but dont be surprised when i think you're nuts. speaking of nuts... you go into a library, or a computer lab. there's some chick talking to her friend... smacking her gum so loud you can hear it in guam... her cell phone keeps ringing.. whats the first thing you think? FRESHMAN. i almost killed one today in the lab at mckeldin. i only managed to hold myself back. oh yeah. i did something horrible today. :::hangs head in shame::: i was sitting outside of the student union, eating my mcnuggets, when all these cute lil birds were walking around (i was on those grass/stone step ampitheatre things) and so i picked off a little piece of the breading and threw it at them. they all fought for it, and it was really cute. so i kept breaking off little pieces of mostly breading and throwing it for them. hell, they're american birds, they can eat mcdonalds. there was a squirrel at kings dominion who used to beg for french fries, so birds and nuggets shouldnt be so bad. and then it hit me.< p> chickens are considered fowl.

fowl means things with wings

wings mean birds.

i turned those poor defenseless birdies into Cannibal Birds. i thought it was so cute the way they were fighting over the pieces. i mean, i threw mostly bread, but sometimes there was a little chicken on it or something. so they might have been fighting over a distant uncle or cousin or something. i feel so bad! well, now that i've screwed up the food chain and revelaed my desire to wipe out certain freshmen AND tried to justify politically incorrect terms... i better get some sleep. :-) hey, maybe half my ass will fall asleep too, like the guy from my history class.

aiite. i finished my weekend blog. its only about 8 miles long. hopefully this one will be shorter. first of all, i wanna be dr. phil. not go on his show.. i want to BE him. ok. maybe not him. i would still like to be female (most of the time) and i would DEFINITELY like to have hair either way. but... i was watching him this afternoon, and it was a show about teenagers and how to be good parents to them. some of the teen's stories were really sad... it made me think (again) that i really want to be a psychologist or counselor for adolescants. its funny.. i used to talk about how lucky i was to know what i wanted to do with the rest of my life. and no i have no fucking clue what i want to do. its a little bit scary. i take that back. its fucking terrifying. especially when im supposed to be starting my degree.... sigh. that brings me to another point. i miss having people i can talk to, face-to-face.... about something other than homework. dont get me wrong, Morg is the best roommate ever, but i dont want to drive her crazy. and Liz is awesome too, but shes a busy girl. i have all this stuff that i want to say, and no one to listen anymore. it makes me sad.

The last couple days have been amazing... and i don't know how many times words like that come out of my mouth, so i feel that i should explain. we'll start on thursday... first of all.... NO MORE SNIPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they caught the stupid bastard. i'm amazed, because he was smart enough not to physically get caught... yet he made some other mistakes that should go in one of those "worlds dumbest criminals" books. but now we can all leave our houses, and get gas without doing the "bob and weave" head maneuver.... no one looks like they're having a seizure anymore. its great. so yay for our newfound freedom.
thursday i went to ALL my classes (yay! i was sooo not wanting to go. but i did anyway. i was proud of myself) and then went to montgomery mall to get xsome new shoes. (i got really cute steve madden shoes, btw.i also found a cashmere peacoat that i LOVED but i figured my parents would shoot me if i bought it.) i forgot how scary that place gets sometimes. i saw a mom and her daughter... both with matching coach purses... they were both really tiny... maybe 5'2 or 5'3.. in matching jeans and tall boots.. the mom was wearing a leather jacket, and the girl was wearing a white tshirt and a pink studded belt. the girl was having a hard time walking in the boots, probably cuz they added a good 4 inches to her height. finally, i saw them turn around... the girl couldnt have been more than TWELVE. she had highlights in her hair that i can guarentee weren't real. a face full of makeup. TWELVE YEARS OLD AT THE MOST. will someone please pray for her soul? and then i went to nordstroms... i always stop by on my way out and look at the real kate spade purses. not that id ever buy one, but she makes some cute stuff... and if i know what the real stuff looks like, i can buy some great fake stuff. so i go over and another rack catches my eye. since the beginning of classes, ive noticed that most of the sorostitutes have the same bags. they're 2 colors.. one outside, one inside... black straps... and some sort of green label. i had no idea where they were getting them... i figured abercrombie or something. but no. the rack i saw was a display of the same bags.. they're by marco someone. and they're definitely ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS EACH. first of all, those bags are NOT worth that much money. second, i was convinced that they gave the bags out at rush, thats how many girls had these damned bags. this marco guy must be a BILLIONAIRE.... just by the UMD campus alone. i was ASTOUNDED. i need to stop going to montgomery mall... every time i go, i come out disillusioned with society in general.

friday i went to class and then my doctor's appt (which went well, which is always good) and then home for a little while. my mom and i ended up going shopping for a new coat for me.we actually had a really good time. we went to hecht's first, and i showed my mom the coat that i loved. then we tried on every peacoat in like 4 dept. stores... nothing fit me as well as the nifty cashmere one that i wanted and was willing to sell my firstborn child for. so.. since it was on sale.. and we had coupons... guess what coat i got? YAY!!!!!! and then on the way out, i decided it would be fun to go frolic in the hats gloves and scarves section. i had my mom peeing in her pants... i was in such a good mood, and i was feeling a little silly, and we all know what a disaster that can turn out to be. at one point, i found this really ugly hat, so i put that on... and another equally as ugly scarf, which totally didnt match the ugly hat... so i put that on... and went over to my mom and stood next to her until she looked over and screamed. it was great. i was having such a good time.

saturday, i woke up at the asscrack of dawn... well, actually, it was way before the asscrack of dawn. why? cuz i was going to New York City for the day! my roomie and her architecture friends were going up for the day, so i got to go with them. the ONLY part that sucked was having to be AT the architecture building at 545 to get on the bus. but it was ok, cuz i slept most of the way up. when we got there, we went to this lecture by some of the people that are helping to rebuild the WTC. i learned a lot... but the woman that talked to us was a little bit of a tool. if she said "um" one more time, i was gonna throw sumthing at her. then we had a whole bunch of free time, so morgan and i walked around the city taking pictures of nifty buildings. i went to the NYC public library for the first time... that place is awesome. i wanna go to NYU just so i can study there. morgan and i took pictures next to the big lions in the front. we went and got pizza near times square.. the pizza was SOOOO yummy. too bad the bathrooms were one of the most frightening places ive ever been to. but its ok. then we got a taxi to washington square (the driver actually TOLD us to make sure our seatbelts were on. thts how much of an experience this was....) to meet up for a tour, this one of greenwich villiage. the tour was given by a PHD from columbia U and his name was Luke. i learned SOOOOOOO much from the tour, and had such a good time. ill have to post the pictures at some point. then we went to chinatown for dinner. ive never been to chinatown, so this was a new and different experience. (hehe... we were looking for a place to eat and we thought this one place was a restaurant, so we went upstairs... nope. it was a wedding reception. so we did a Uturn and went right back downstairs. it was pretty funny. and the room looked like they were getting ready for a chinese bar mitzvah.) and we started walking around more.... its REALLY disturbing the way that they have all the fish in little tanks on yer way into the restaurants. its like, "see what you're going to eat"??? and some of them are really ugly looking, so you dont WANNA know what you're eating. we finally decided on this restaurant, which was REALLY good. and three of the architecture ppl had spent time in china over the summer, so they taught me how to *correctly* eat with chopsticks. i can eat peanuts and peas with them! the food was really yummy too. the only complaint was that all the people who were chinese got served first. but whatever. then we split into two groups, cuz we only had an hour and a half before we had to be back at the bus. we were going to try to go up to the top of the empire state building, but it was gonna take half an hour to get up (from the lobby) and we didnt have time. then we went to the CNN building, because val's aunt painted the rescue dog memorial in the lobby and she wanted to see it. (side note.... the guy told her that you were only allowed to take pictures on the weekdays. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? what difference does it make? its not like the plaster dog needs the weekends off.) we ended up having to covertly take the picture, because there's a security camera right on it. it was pretty funny. the security guard figured out what we were up to and walked out of the booth just as val was taking the pic... we left quickly before we got thrown out. we only had a few minutes left... but one of the guys that was with us had never been to NYC before, and we COULDNT let him leave w/out going to Times Square. so we went there and just chilled for a little while before the mad dash back to the bus. SUCH a good day... it would have been better if i coudl have fallen asleep on the bus on the way back, but that didnt happen. its ok tho. it was a mad good time. mad thanks to morgan's architecture friends... they put up with me all day. i love them for it. :-) on sunday, i slept for a loooooooooong time. then, morgan, my sister, and her friend mary went downtown to GWU... Counting Crows were playing at the Smith Center, and my pseudo-uncle is their production manager. so we got all-access passes to the concert that night. first, i have been turned into a HUGE counting crows fan. that was one of the best concerts ive ever been to, if not THE best. (that includes all the DMB concerts ive been to) it was just... amazing. they're phenominal live. if you havent seen them, go check them out. i also met them (woo) and got to eat their food. MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD thanks to Alan for hooking us up. i had SUCH a good time. so yeah. that was my weekend. i think this post is almost long enough now.... :-)

the sniper attacks continue. 9 kills, 2 wounded.... i'm getting tired of sitting in my backseat while i pump gas. how about we catch this mother fucker somtime this century? and every time i see a white truck, i get goosebumps. enough already. last weekend was fun. i forget what i did on friday night, but it probably involved me sitting in my room. on saturday, i went to melissa's boyfriend's house because he was having people over. i was kinda sketchy, because well, 1. who knows where i stand with melissa and vice versa, and 2. the only person i knew there was melissa, so that would be weird. i ended up having a REALLY good time. there was very little weirdness between mel and i (at least i thought so) and i met some really cool people. so except when her roommate puked and part of it landed on my head (no joke) it was an excellent time.

aiite. long time, no post. i have LOTS of stories to tell tho, so get comfy. first of all, a message to our friendly neighborhood sniper. STOP IT. YOU'RE A FUCKING LUNATIC. STOP SHOOTING PEOPLE FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT THEY LEFT THEIR HOMES. ITS NOT CUTE OR FUNNY OR POLITICALLY JUSTIFIED OR EVEN PLAIN STUPID. YOU'RE A GODDAMNED MOTHER FUCKING PSYCHOPATH. GO HOME. For those of you that havent turned on yer tvs.... there's a retard on the loose in the dc/metro area. Five people were shot in Montgomery county (some guy loading his groceries in his car, an employee at a craft store, a guy mowing the lawn outside white flint mall, a man pumping gas, and a woman vacuuming out her minivan) last week. In the span of like, 15 hours. Then some woman in Fredericksburg, VA. And today's masterpiece.... a mom was taking her son to school every morning since the first attacks, like many parents in the area. So she drops off her son today... he closes the car door... she starts to pull away... and he gets shot. In the chest. He's alive, but he's apparently a very lucky young man. (he's 13) ....WHAT KIND OF PSYCHOPATH DOES THAT?????????? well the unfortunate answer is, no one knows, cuz no one know who the hell this guy is. He shoots from like, 100 yards away with a high powered rifle. you know those carnival game with the rubber ducks that go around in a circle... and you're supposed to shoot one? i feel like one of those ducks. but i'm not really a duck, i shouldnt have to FEEL like a duck. WHEN they catch this guy, i hope they bring back chinese water torture, just for him. speaking of chinese water torture... great intro to my next story. My Saturday Night. So on saturday, my car broke. i was supposed to pick up julia at the airport, but that obviously wasn't going to happen. so maura picked her up, picked my sister up, and then picked me up, and we all went out to dinner. when i got into maura's car (a beautiful 2 door RSX) i got all tangled up in the seatbelt trying to get into the back and my purse fell and spilled everywhere. so that was fun. so we went to dinner and had a blast... i love spending time with them. so then we dropped julia off at her dorm, and went to devon's. all of HER friends were going to a party... so maura and i went with them. it was a decent time.i didnt have enuf to drink. so maura decides she wants to leave, and since i live in AFRICA (or the distance equivalent, esp. from this party) i had to get a ride home or go with her. well devons friends were coming to the party and they said theyd give me a ride. so all was good, and maura left. so the boys get there... and then, while i'm elsewhere... LEAVE. this is slightly annoying, and i have no idea how im going to get home. in the meantime, the keg gets kicked. so im sober AND i have no idea how im getting home. well by now its like 1 or 2, and we're waiting for one of devon's floormates to sober up enuf to the point where she can walk.so finally... finally... we leave at like 3 am. we walk ALLLL the way back to devons dorm. i decide i'll just take a cab from there. but it takes us half an hour to find a PG co cab... so we FINALLY call one. i go to wait for it... went to put the cash into my wallet (my sister lent me cab fare) ....and realize that MY KEYS ARE NOT IN MY BAG. well shit. so i decide to take the cab anyway and go to my apartment complex. one of the guards at the gate HAS to know how to get into my apartment. so i get there and talk to the guard. he pretty much tells me that im fucked. theres no way to get a key, and trying to get the maintnence people to return phone calls is like trying to make pedestrians on campus stop walking across the street when you're trying to drive. its impossible. so im thinking... i'll go make sure i locked my door. the problem is, you need a key to get into my building in the first place. and i dont have my key. so i go over to my building, figuring that SOMEONE will EVENTUALLY come in, and i can just get into the building with them. so im walking to my building and i see another cab pull up in front, and im all excited. the guy gets out of the cab.... goes into thru the first door (which isnt locked... goes to the second door (i'm following him) and goes to pull out his keys... and is like, shit. HE DOESNT HAVE HIS KEYS EITHER. so half an hour and a halfway decent conversation later, he finds someone to let us into the building. i go up to my door.... pray... turn the handle. Locked. Sigh. At this point, i can only think of a few options. I don't want to call anyone and crash at their house, cuz its 430 am at this point. i could theoretically walk to the hampton inn on the corner, but that means walking up cherry hill road by myself. and this is college park, so thats not such a good idea. so i did the only thing i could think of. i went to the lobby... put my wallet under couch 1... and slept on couch 2. i figured if anyone saw my purse, they would take it and they wouldnt realize that my wallet wasnt in it. so i got about 2 hours of sleep on the couch in the lobby, before i was woken up by a man SCREAMING chinese into his cell phone. i mean really, couldnt he have made the phone call in his apartment? there are people trying to sleep in the lobby! also, thanks to my dad, i know how to say, "shut up!" in chinese... but i didnt know how to follow it with " you obnoxious fucking bastard" so i didn't say it. although, if i said shut up, he might have thought i had understood his entire conversation. so that would have been funny. finally, i called my parents at 845 and told my dad what happened... so he broke into maura's car and got my keys out. i finally got back into my apartment at 1030 or so. that was the worst night EVER. the couch was dusty and the lobby was FREEZING COLD. i ended up with a sore throat for two days. not to mention, god only knows what has happened on those couches, as my dad was kind enough to mention. so the moral of the story? 1. NEVER EVER EVER FORGET YOUR KEYS AT 4am 2. Learn insults "shut up" and other insults in various languages. you never know when they'll come in handy.

Yeah, its been a long time again, but for good reason. Things have been a little bit insane. I'll start at the beginning. Last tuesday night, i find out that my neighbor had a massive heart attack and died. so that was a little bit disturbing. Last wednesday was 9/11, and that was hard. In fact, i took the day off. I just sat in front of my tv for awhile. Then, i went to classes on thursday like a good girl... and i found out on thursday night that my best friend's dad died from cancer. It never occurred for me NOT to go out, so I spent friday getting my stuff together, and flew out to chicago at the asscrack of dawn on saturday morning. that was a really hard weekend for two reasons. One... well... the obvious. I met jack's dad after our freshman year... and he was there to laugh at me when jack moved in, and i didnt even say hi to jack, but just started telling him all about how i lost the keys and locked myself out of my room and my car. he and jack's mom let me come to their house for thanksgiving. I see a lot of him in Jack. He was one of the nicest people i've ever met... and I wish that i had gotten to know him better. And # 2... Ryan, Jess, and Tom drove from IU to chicago for the weekend. I wish we could have seen each other under different circumstances, but... wow was it good to see them again. It reminded me how good it is to have friends like that.... and how much i miss them. Especially this weekend... it was so nice to have someone to talk to, and to cry on. (special props to tom on that one. mostly cuz hes USUALLY the world's least sympathetic person. but he stepped up for the weekend.) We did get to see Austin Powers 3 together, go to dinner, and play mini golf in the dark. Guys, you're the greatest. I miss you guys more than i have words for. You all better come visit me, and soon. So i got back monday night, and didnt go to class on tuesday. i was just too freakin tired. i went wednesday tho! and yesterday and today. so that has to count for something! Anyway. i have several other things to say, just not the time to type them. I have some great stories from my classes.... well, the ones ive been to...

Aiite, so i really was going to post part 2 of day 2 last nite, except that it wasn't nearly as entertaining as part 1. i went to history, where we listened to grandmaster flash for like 20 minutes while the prof got himself together, and then i went to my geology discussion.... but my tool bobble-head-look-alike teacher forgot to tell us that there was no discusison this week. our whole section sat and chilled for awhile.... its not like we have anything better to do.

Part 1 of day 2...... So I wake up this morning, only to realize that i'm really not a morning person. (i knew this, but i was reinforced again this morning) I finally get to my first class... which is math again. (i have it 5 mornings a week at 9 am. arent i lucky?!?!?!?) we do a lot of group work, which i actually like. instead of listening to lectures, we help eachother out. the groups were supposed to be random, but they seem to be in ability levels... and damn, are there some stupid people in that class. So we finally let out, and it's time to run (almost literally) to Susquehanna Hall for my english class.

Now, yesterday, i was talking to some guy who said that he had to do the armory/susquehanna walk too... and the best way was to go up to the chapel, cut across the parking lot, then go behind south campus dining. Well.. when he said go up to the chapel... he meant UP. that hill has to be almost straight up and down. and its not exactly a short hill. it might not be so bad if i wasnt trying to get halfway across campus in 10 minutes and could go a little slower. but no... i have to run up the stupid thing. and i get to do it three mornings a week! yay! so i go to english, and im a little bit late, due to the fact that im a tool and wrote the room number down wrong. (i figured it out before i actually went in the wrong room, which was good.) it looks like its gonna be boring. i hear fiction and think books... apparently, my professor hears fiction and thinks poetry. and i HATE poetry. but whatever... as long as i get this over with, it'll all be good. its only one semester. so at the end of class, i go up to the professor to apologize for being late, and explain that im running from the armory every day... so if im late, i'm really sorry.... but theres this guy in front of me. he walks up to the professor and is all, "what did i miss??" and the professor says, "i dont know, i dont know how late you were" and the guy is all " i just got here" (its the end of class) ...so the professor gives him a funny look. the guy is all "i was walking around for an hour trying to find this place. im PISSED OFF" the professor gives him another Look... and is like, i have no comment on this one. ...I have a comment. GET A MAP.GET A FUCKING MAP OR ASK ONE OF THE, WHAT, 30 THOUSAND STUDENTS RUNNING AROUND CAMPUS WHERE HE'S GOING, OR TO BORROW *THEIR* MAP. Not that i feel strongly about this. but really. there are also locator booths conveniently placed all over campus so you can ask knowledgable people or directions. ITS NOT THAT HARD. So anyway, the guy THEN says "i'm going to drive tomorrow. we can park outside, right?" (meaning, the parking lot outside of the building) .....HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA. thats when i said... sure, if you want a ticket. so the professor looks at him and says, "you better go hang out with some friends tointe... go to a bar or something... and figure out how this school works." I love people. And now on for part 2 of today...

aiite. so today was my first day at maryland. first, i turned out of my lovely apartment complex.... only to go about 4 feet and sit in traffic. so it took me about 25 minutes to get to campus. and then, since the registrar's office hasn't transferred my credits yet, i don't have a parking permit. so i went to go park in the pay lot by the student union. that was entertaining, but more on that later. so i park my car, and then walk 3/4 of the way across campus to the armory, where my first class is. my math class was ok. its a 5 week review course (hey, i havent had math in 3 years. im lucky i can still count.) and then i get to go into a math class that i actually get credit for. but it turns out that the first 5 weeks arent graded. so if i feel as though, if i have a good idea of what we're doing, i'm definitely going to be getting some extra sleep. and i walk out of the door, and see someone that i graduated HS with. it's like Quince Orchard East over here.
after math, i have an hour break, so i went to the union, did my math hw for tomorrow, got bored, and wandered over to my next class, in tawes. and my class is on the third floor... so i go up the stairs. now, god forbid that for some reason, they have to put elephants on the third floor. cuz there's no way in hell the elephants are going to fit up the staircase... it's a stretch to fit two people on those staircases. they're SO tiny. it makes going to class a lot more interesting. so i get to the third floor, where the classrooms were numbered by drunkards. so i finally find my class, and then im like... i need to go to the bathroom. so i turn around, and whats the first thing i see? a big sign that says THERE ARE NO BATHROOMS ON THIS FLOOR. YOU HAVE TO GO DOWNSTAIRS. now.... that seemed a little odd. maybe the person that designed the third floor had something against bathrooms, but still... another one of those things i haven't figured out yet. why would you have a floor with no bathrooms? so anyway we're all waiting in the hall. all like, 30 of us. this class is supposed to be the History of South Africa (it fills a whole bunch of requirements for me.) so we're chillin in the hall.. and its like 10:57... and class starts at 11... and we're starting to wonder if we have a teacher, cuz the door is locked. all of the sudden, this tool in a blue and white striped shirt comes down the hallway. "where are you guys supposed to be?" and someone tells him the room #... and hes all, "what class?" and someone told him... and hes like, "well why didnt you guys go in?" and we proceed to tell him that we couldnt get thru the locked door. so he whips out a cell phone (while commenting on the temperature of the hallway, cuz its about 90 degrees by now) and is all, "anyone know the phone number for the history department?" and calls them up. apparently, the last class that was supposed to be in there couldnt get the door open.... so they tell us to go to this lounge. so the tool in the blue shirt, who is actually the professor, is like, "aiite, lets go find this lounge." and we all start moving towards the door. then this guy is like, "mind if i take my shirt off?" and then all like, 30 or 40 of us proceed to wander around the third floor of Tawes for like 20 minutes, looking for this lounge where we're supposed to have class. well... none of us ever find it. so the "professor" keeps looking around and finds a room where they're storing old teachers desks and refridgerators. so we have class in there, and just sit on top of the desks. and he lets us out of class before its half over, cuz even with his shirt off, he's still complaining about the heat.
probably the best part of my day was walkin out of tawes and looking at the locator station (for you IU kids... umd's campus is so huge that they have people at little boothes to point freshmen and other lost people in the right direction) anyway.... i was like, wait, i know those guys! it was the OA staff that i know thru liz.... and the first people i'd seen all day that i knew, and DIDNT go to my high school. so i stuck around and annoyed them for awhile, before i went to class #3.
class number 3, which i nicknamed landfills101 and morgan keeps calling "rocks for jocks" is environmental geology. first off, the real professor is in a hospital in germany til the end of the month (i still think its rehab, but.... they wouldnt actually tell us that) so we have some other woman until then. first of all, she's a tool, and second of all... its hard to explain. her knees kinda face eachother, but they also hyperextend. and she moves around a lot, and she looks like one of those bobble-head dolls that people put on their dashboards. its REALLY distracting, and also kinda funny to watch. at the same time, she was showing us overheads (she spent all weekend making a powerpoint presentation, but then realized she doesnt know how to set it up in the room) and showed us a picture of a volcano... but couldnt remember the name. she said that in the last class, she couldnt remember where it was. great. and then i went to the office of the Parking Nazis... where i learned that i might be able to get a lot 1 permit... or at least something closer than lots 4 or 6. (hey iu kids... umd actually lets people park on campus if they're commuters. what a concept...) all in all, the day wasn't bad and my classes shouldnt be too heinous. (i was expecting a lot worse, only cuz i registered so late) i'm still alive, and thats what counts, right?

well.... its back to school weekend. if i were at IU, i'd be at the hairy buffalo right now. (not bitter at all)

instead, i'm chillin at the apt. on the bright side of things, morgan's boyfriend sebastian and his friends ted and mac are visiting from west point. all three of them are AWESOME. they're stellar guys. i needed something or someone (s) to distract me this weekend, and they're doing an excellent job. mac, ted, and i were up til about 530 this morning drinkin and talkin. (and then mac promptly passed out on my floor.) good times. today we went to go see signs (i wasn't impressed, but they liked it) and then went down to the capital city brewing company for dinner and stuff. (morg's friend was the bartender, so we all got to drink... including me, who is definitely NOT 21. so that was my first bar experience. go me. he also hooked us up, and we didn't pay for anything.) when we were walkin around dc, it reminded me so much of spring break that i started crying like the big loser that i am. so that sucked cuz a. i missed my friends and b. im walking around w/ tears rolling down my face looking like an idiot. but like i said, reguardless of such, it was a good nite. the boys went out to the bars to try and pick up a sorostitute or two... it doesn't sound like things worked out for them. it WOULD be just like the sorostitutes to give up two of the nicest guys ever.... oh well, their loss.

by the way, my humongous bed came. it's phenominal. :-)

time to go drink again. heavily.

Alright, so i figured i'd start this so that when people ask me how the UMD thing is going, i could just point them in this general directon.

i moved into my apt yesterday. i like it a LOT. and my roommate is awesome. (this is where morgan turns goes "awwww Lindz...!") For those of you that don't know, Morgan and i went to HS together, and her roommate was stupid, so i moved in. we live in a 2 bedroom apt. in Seven Springs, which is an overpriced "gated community" thats in the middle of nowhere, as far as campus is concerned. i'm thinking of investing in a helicopter, so i can get to class on time. we went out tonite and got 4 plants... the smallest of them is 4 feet tall. (giant was having a sale) so between the rattan (sp?) furniture ....including my sweetass papasan chair... and the plants, our living room is like a jungle. all we need are animal skins on the wall or sumthin. my room is just big enuf for a dresser, bookcase, desk, and my *queen size* bed. (which comes on Thursday... i'm excited.)
As for not being at IU... well... it still makes me sad. If you ask me what school i go to, most of the time, indiana is the first thing that comes to mind. It's weird not being at band camp... it's almost surreal. maybe once classes start, things will be easier. but for now.... i still miss being a hoosier. :-(