Sydney: Ooh, why didn�t I bring a pen and notepad? �1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0��
Anna: 4 7 4 3 2 9 6 5 4�
Sydney: Hey, cut it out!
Sydney: (into com) I�m going to give Dixon the wrong code!
Vaughn: Wha? Sydney, no! Give him the right code!
Sydney: I don�t wanna!
Vaughn: Syd, don�t you think they�ll get suspicious if you give them numbers other than 1�s and 0�s?
Sydney: �maybe?
Sydney: So what did the code say?
Sloane: At first we thought it was describing a location in Greece, and sent a team there. But that was a no go.
Marshall: I thought the code was giving me longitude and latitude, but it actually says, �Go to a church in Spain at these coordinates to find the golden sun.�
Sydney: How�d you mistake that for two numbers?
Marshall: Ehh. (shrugs)
Sloane: So, you�re going to Spain to grab the golden sun.
Sydney: (whines) But I just got back from Spain!
Sloane: You just got back from Berlin.
Sydney: But Spain before that!
Sydney: The golden sun is part of one of these stained glass windows. I�ll just pull it out and be on my way�
Anna: Mine!
Sydney: Mine!
Anna and Sydney: MIIIIIINE!!!
(major hair-pulling contest ensues)
Russick: Seriously? His own website, in 1489?
Sloane: Yeah. Not bad for a dead white guy, huh?
Russick: Most impressive. Hey, how�s your wife?
Sloane: Emily�s still dying of cancer, I�m afraid.
Russick: I�m sorry.
Sloane: Eh. Shit happens.
Sloane: Everyone, I�d like you to meet Russick. He�s a short-term guest star.
Dixon: Come again?
Sloane: You know, one of those characters who�ll make minor appearances for a few episodes, then disappear to never be seen again. Like Charlie, or Anna.
Sydney: Does that mean Anna�s not sticking around?
Sloane: Apparently.
Sydney: Hooray! (dances)
Sloane: All we know about the golden sun you brought back is that it is not glass. It�s some kind of substance that didn�t exist back then.
Dixon: I�m beginning to not like this Rambaldi guy.
Sloane: Then this week�s mission will be a welcome distraction. This week�s random terrorist is meeting this week�s random terrorist #2 for a standard scheme plotting in Moracco. I want you two to find out what they�re up to. You�ll be meeting up with this week�s random expendable local SD-6 operative, under your aliases as Kate Jones and Elton John.
Sydney: Doesn�t it concern you that every week more and more people named this week�s random something-or-other show up here?
Sloane: If you want to try and keep track of all their names, be my guest. I for one don�t have the time for that kind of bullcrap.
Marshall: I�ve put a microphone into this purse for you, so you can record their conversation.
Sydney: Excellent. I�ve been looking for another excuse to talk into my purse.
Sydney�s brain: Dad won�t want to have dinner with me, so just ask him, and he�ll say no. Then it�ll be his fault.
Jack�s brain: Oh, great. Sydney�s got that �I�m about to ask you to have dinner with me Thursday night,� look on her face.
Jack: I don�t want to have dinner with Sydney, so if she asks me to go I�ll just say yes.
Jack�s brain: Wait, are you sure that�s how this sort of thing works?
Jack: Shut up, or I�ll stab you with a Q-tip!
Francie: You ever spied on anyone before?
Sydney: (defensive) Why would you ask me a question like that?!? Just because I�m sneaky, I keep a pair of binoculars in my underwear drawer, and I have a suspicious job�
Francie: I just wanted to know if you�d come spy on my boyfriend with me or not?
Sydney: Ooh, fun! I�m in!
Vaughn: Just let me know whatever you find out on the mission, and we�ll work from there.
Sydney: We don�t seem to be doing much damage to SD-6, you know.
Vaughn: Great, let�s fight about this again.
Sydney: Nahh, I can tell you�ve had enough for one day. Had one with your wife already, right?
Vaughn: I�m not married. Had one with the girlfriend though. How can you tell?
Sydney: That black eye kinda gives it away.
Vaughn: Oh right. So you thought I was married all this time? No wonder my hitting on you hasn�t been working.
Sydney: Seems like 90% of the cast has a boner for me. I�m seriously considering turning gay.
Sydney: Okay, I�m infiltrating the marketplace in my cute hippie disguise. I�ve found our random guest terrorists and I�m taping their chat.
Dixon: I�ve got a picture of the second one, and we�re IDing him now�
Sydney: Oh no! I know his bodyguard! He apparently broke my arm two years ago!
Dixon: Quick, he�s coming right for you! Act like the cute hippie you�re dressed as!
Random Bodyguard: I know you.
Sydney: (acting high) I know you too, man! You�re one of Mother Earth�s creatures, just like me! (hugs)
R.B.: Then again, I could be mistaken.
Sydney: Oh my God! They killed this week�s random expendable local SD-6 operative!
Dixon: You bastards!
Will: I feel bad about how awkward that kiss made things. I want to make it better.
Sydney: How?
Will: By kissing again, ergo making it even more weird!
(Will plays with the name tag on Sydney�s luggage � the tag clearly labelled �Kate Jones.� Sydney notices and tries to subtly pull the luggage away from him.)
Sydney: Er, yeah sure, why not?
(smooch)
Will: Did it work?
Sydney: Definitely more awkward. Now if you�ll excuse me, I have to go have dinner with my father, in a restaurant that looks exactly like the one Francie�s going to confront Charlie in.
Will: You�d rather eat with your dad than kiss me?
Sydney: Yup.
Will: Maybe sleeping together will make it less awkward between us?
(Door slams)
Francie: I saw you with that Rachel woman the other night! I want to know why you�re cheating on me!
Charlie: Hey, have I ever showed suspicion over your questionable acts of monogamy? Like that dwarf you used to keep in the cage under your bed?
Francie: That happened when I was 16 years old! (leaves in a huff)
Sydney: (at the next table over) In my opinion, you deserved that hissy fit.
Charlie: What are you doing here?
Sydney: (blinks) I thought our two restaurants looked too similar.
Charlie: (mutters something about lack of set funds and leaves)
Sydney: Oh great. Now what�s going to keep me entertained whilst I wait for my dad to not show up?
Jack�s brain: I can�t have dinner with Sydney � she�ll ask me a whole bunch of questions that I can�t answer. I need an alibi� wait, I�ve got it!
Jack: (dials Sydney�s phone) Hello, Sydney? Yeah, I can�t make it to dinner. I have to work.
Jack�s brain: Jack ol� boy, you�re still the master of deception. ^_^
Sydney: Wahhhh� my daddy won�t talk to me� and this week�s random expendable local SD-6 operative who got killed thought he was working for the good guys� and I can�t afford those new shoes I want despite receiving two different paychecks each week�
Vaughn: Hmm. I should have known.
Sydney: Known what?
Vaughn: (points to the sky) It�s a full moon. Sure sign that there�ll be lots of hissy fits happening tonight.
Sloane: We�ve learned that one of this week�s random terrorists has developed a new bomb designed for destroying mountains, that they plan to attack a UCO conference in Sao Paulo, and that a dude named Patel is involved somehow.
Dixon: Do you think they mean the Patel of UCO?
Sloane: Yes. He�s one of those guys always rabbiting on about disarmament and world peace and so on. No way is he working with them, which means he�s likely the target.
Sydney: You think they�ll plant a bomb on him.
Sloane: Yes, I do. I want you two to go stop that from happening. Any questions?
Sydney: Yeah. Why do you want to save that guy?
Sloane: Excuse me?
Sydney: Never mind.
Will: It�s all very frustrating, assistant girl. I�ve checked all the medical conferences that were on in Singapore when Danny got killed, but he�s not registered at any of them. Then I found out that he was supposed to be travelling with someone named Kate Jones. And worst of all, Sydney�s still not sleeping with me!
Jenny�s brain: Why am I interested in this guy again?
Sydney: (into com) Dixon, it looks like someone spiked Patel�s fruit punch with tequila. He�s being taken away in an ambulance to get his stomach pumped.
Dixon: Follow him on that motorbike they were going to auction for charity, no-one will miss it. But be careful Syd � you�re wearing very tight pants, and you don�t want a repeat of the other week.
Sydney�s brain: Patel and the doctors are in surgery right below me. I�ll spy on them through this hollow pen, instead of the perfectly functioning pair of binoculars I also brought with me.
Terrorist Dressed as Doctor: And now, marvel in wonder as I plant this bomb in Patel�s chest! Muawahahaha!
Sydney: (indignant) I don�t believe that man ever went to medical school!